Last time I bought a £4.99 ASDA Chocolate Catpillia cake, I took it to a b4sh for everyone; everyone likes cake, so why not?
But I looked in with absolute horror when the first slice, the slice with the fondont head, got cut off. I saw them slice it down and watched it fall over, while I was using my strongest mind power going "Nononono, don't you dare give that slice to someone else", you see, I couldn't say anything, because I'd look like a right fucking autistic internet fatty if I demanded the head piece, which is without a doubt the best one (every single bite has some fondunt !). You know when you give someone 'evils' willing them to do something, knowing that if it was possible for someone to read your thoughts, they would read the shouting going on in your head, and this would be the perfect time to transmit my phsycicness "Give Me The Head PIece". But then, the person who cut the slice, puts it on a plate, and eats it ! Can you believe it? The cake cutter cut off the best bit on the whole cake and served it to themselves ! Fucking prick, should have glassed the cunt with an ashtray while he's doing a piss in an allyway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:01, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Can we take caterpiller cakes into the sushi restaurant?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I don't see why not, but I'm bagsying the head piece this time, I'm gonna speak up my mind and speak up for my god given devine heritage... I want the head bit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Keep a glass ashtray to hand, just in case...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

As a child, one of the most vicious battles
in our family was over who got the white chocolate face off the caterpillar cake
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Deffo, that slice is an honor bestowed upon whoever is the subject of the occasion.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Even funerals?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

"...And that's why I'm banned from all future open casket funerals."

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

We weren't allowed sweets
so I have no doubt our battles were specially vicious and unlimited by any petty considerations such as whose birthday it was
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)