Morning
How are we all today? I woken up at 5am with very bad stomach pains, which wasn't much fun. I think I've slept for about 3 hours altogether, so I'm not in the best mood this morning.

Alt: However, I have had a cracking breakfast, which has brought stopped the day being a total washout. When was the last time something simple helped to cheer you up?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:29, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: Just now, when I read your post.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Morning
Sorry to hear about your stomach, it does sounds like the symptoms of bad aids I'm afraid. Sorry to be the bearer... etc.
As for the alt, breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day. The simple thing that cheers me up is taking 5 minutes to smoke a joint. This is usually enough for me to calm down and sort things out in my head. It also gets me stoned.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:36, Reply)

If I partaked, I'd likely agree
It's rare for me to go near the stuff, 'festivals only' kind of rare.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:55, Reply)

It's partook
and use of that phrase is so incredibly pretentious it is reserved almost exclusively for stoners.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Haha, shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I'm a stoner, but I don't use that word

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Morning.
The woman who shouted at me for not getting out of her way as she was trying to go the wrong way up the stairs at Waterloo as a short cut dropped her purse and had to stop shouting.

That cheered me up.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Morning mate
Hope the pains pass reasonably quickly. I imagine you know my answer to the above; it begins with "That useless cunt Steve" and ends with "McClaren resigning".

Ms Foxtrot's answer would probably be me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Aye, the passing was quite quick
The discomfort afterwards, however, was not.

Saw that, thought you might be a tad pleased about it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Yeah, well chuffed
Could you please add the following to your sig; "except Roy Keane"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Pfft.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

CHANGE YOUR GODDAMN SIG
DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

IT'S A REALLY LONG WAY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

*Sings AA's sig in the style of Jason Donovan*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Luckiest man in Britain

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

He did fuck Kylie so I'd agree

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Yeah cos that's such an exclusive list
I meant because he gets to spend fifty hours a week in a dance studio with Kristina Rihanoff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

...and he fucked Kylie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I've honestly never known what the fuss was about with her
Nice arse but, let's face it, she'd split
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

+make like a banana, and

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

A 15 year old sportcow's wank fantasy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

+ ,
.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Is it
'That useless cunt Steve Wright was on the radio this morning being an arse but then I heard on the news that the Formula 1 season is all up for grabs after the shock news of McLaren resigning'?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Yes it is
You mindreading bastard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Morning
I too am suffering sleep-lack. I was awoken at 4:30 by a screaming match between two women about some guy. I now know far more about the sordid sex lives of the local villagers than is strictly neccesary.

Alt: I will be cheering myself up with a mahoosive bacon sandwich very soon!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Alt: That's what cheered me up, 3 thick rashers on toast with brown sauce!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Toast?
Wrong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Not at all!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Needs soft white bread or a bun

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Either are excellent
But when you're eating as you walk, it has to be toast or a bun, and I didn't have any buns this morning.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Morning
I'm not too bad considering some shitty Michael Caine movie from the 80s kept me from getting to bed at a decent time. It was called 'The Island' and it roped me in with some nice axe-gore action before descending into silliness.

Alt: Keeping with the film theme I watched 'Real Steel' last night which was very simple but lots of fun.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I watched Transformers 3 last night
On a *crash boom bang* level it's fairly enjoyable. In every other way, it's very very poor.

Then, I watched Carlito's Way, which was absolutely excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Watching Carlito's Way (for the gajillionth time)..
..was the reason I ended up watching that Michael Caine film as it came on straight after it. I never get tired of Carlito's Way and I just switched over during the pool trick-shot scene, so there was no going back from there.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I'd never seen it before last night
Second very good film I've seen (unplanned) in 2 days, the other being The Town
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

The Town was good but I can't remember much about it
Pete Postlethwaite and Jeremy Renner were good in it.

I finally got around to watching the Ian Dury biopic Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll with Andy Serkis the other day (we've had it on the V+ for about a year). I can highly recommend it, great central performance and there's plenty of imagination at play in how the story is structured.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I have the same problem.
I know I enjoyed it, but when I just tried to remember it I remembered florists and not much else.

And that Ian Dury film is fantastic.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

The gun fight at the end is quite impressive.
I shall give that a watch!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

The other thing that cheered me up
is that there is a place in Yorkshire called "Kirk Hammerton" who now stars in a series of exciting action thrillers involving big guns, explosions and femme fatales taking place entirely in my own head.

(there is also a place called Wetwang, that makes me giggle)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Do you think Kirk Hammett of Metallica has been there?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

This was my other thought
Anywhere He Roams?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I read that in the style of MC Hammer
Kirk .... Hammerton

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

At least once a week OT earworms me.
bastard.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

U can't touch OT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I rode my bike into work this morning.
Turns out the way into work is almost entirely uphill, but I'm looking forward to going home and going "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I like this
Please ensure you do this tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Whilst listening to Flashdance (What a Feeling)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I don't listen to music while cycling
it's very dangerous, and it pisses me off when I see cyclists doing this.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Ok just sing it
"Fiiiiiiirst, when there's no-thing..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Okay, I promise I will do this, even if there are school children watching me.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Makes a change from you watching them, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

And lifting your legs off the pedals, out to the side

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Got cleats

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

WTF are cleats?
I thought they were studs
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Clitty teats?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

They sound painful
Can it be milked?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

You'd have to ask Al
He's the one afflicted
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Clitty Teats sounds like a member of Spade Cooley's band.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I think it sounds like a Fawlty Towers sign-attack

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

www.wiggle.co.uk/cycle/pedal-cleats/
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

+ensuring you're at correct height to take out any wayward toddlers.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Added bonus innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Back still fucked
Chiro put my dislocated rib back into place amid a large amount of yelling from me. Aches like fuck all last night and today but I'm now on 10 hours kip over 4 nights. Yay

Alt:
This morning my daughter slept in and I had to wake her up so she had time for breakfast before going to school. She opened her eyes and gave me a really big smile and that made my black withered heart leap with joy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Did he not give you massage first?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

A happy finish?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

No, seriously, if he's putting ribs back into place he should surely have given you a proper massage first
or else it'll just try and pop back out again.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

There was some "manipulation" first
but fuck me, it hurt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Is Chiro your Mexican houseboy?

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Yes, yes he is
He is back in his cupboard now and thankful for this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Thank you Meester Vaca

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

re-read your post and tell me what language it's meant to be in please?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Simpleton

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

It is written in tired

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

it's written in the tone of a whiney child with menstrual cramps

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

If AA is menstruating, he is no longer a child...
He is becoming a woman at last.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

He'll have to buy a new bra

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I'll have to stuff it with tissues, just to avoid the under moob sweat that is common in fatties.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Forward thinking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

^^This

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Morning, Burt-hole Surfer.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

*hurdy gurdys*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Bit tired today, but working from home so may watch 'Thor' which I doenloaded last night
Alt: I'm about to do a poo, which will be very satisfying and therefore cheer me up
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Thor isn't very satisfying.
It's alright, but it's really just a padded out slightly meaningless backstory to The Avengers.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I really enjoyed Thor.
I enjoyed it more than Captain America, which I also liked, and it's twice the film Iron Man II was.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

She's the only thing that made 'Your Highness' vagualy watchable.
Although given that I can't stand Danny McBride I'm not sure why I expected to be able to watch 'Your Highness' anyway.


Edit: Yes, this is supposed to be a reply to AA below, not me talking to myself.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Thought as much

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I had never even heard of Danny McBride until that film came out
and since it looked appalling I doubt I'll hear of him again.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

He's in Eastbound and Down.
To put that it context, it's Joey Barton's favourite TV show.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

That explains his tache from last year

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

NOTHING explains that tache

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

It really was ridiculous

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Suits him
looks like a cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Thor doesn't hugely tempt me
But I do quite fancy Natalie Portman...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Me too and I'm not quite sure why

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Could be worse
Could fancy Keira Knightley
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

*hides*

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Seriously?
She's not hideously unattractive, but I don't find her even slightly tasty.

Then again, she did play Natalie Portman's double in The Phantom Menace...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Yeah, 'fraid so.
I saw her in The Children's Hour on stage last year and she was stunning.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

She looks rather different in that, almost made-under.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

She has an extremely pretty face

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Which is sat on top of what looks like an 8 year old's body.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Look at the mantlepiece when poking the fire then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

After all, beauty is only a lightswitch away.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

She can keep her (very) padded bra on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Preferably her top too
Else it'd feel like you were lying on one of these
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

So that Blood Bowl game I mentioned yesterday
I'm really enjoying it, and it's making me sad that I didn't really play the board game more as a child.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

In a really bad mood
I know the whole sugar crash thing isn't real, but that's what it feels like. Adding breakfast onto stomach pains probably isn't a good idea for you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Unles the stomach pains are hunger

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

What do you mean sugar crash isn't real?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I'm pretty sure
I read something some time ago about hyperactive children probably not being so because of sugar. I assumed the crash thing was bollocks as well, and certainly not achievable through eating a few spoonfuls of icing.*

*I don't mean in a diabetic sense obviously, but popular parlance
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Mmmmmm icing
I bought a tub of buttercream icing for Cow Jr's birthday cupcakes. 60p of nom!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Amberl, I saw this TV Show about posh american desert places, and there was a cupcake shop who sold 'shots' of icing/frosting...
... Imagine if you could get a carrot cake or banana cake that was like 50% creme cheese frosting? I think that's the sort of Carrot [and/or] banana cake people like us could get behind.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I think I would be completely sick I'm afraid gonz
I dislike both carrot and banana cake, and icing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Woh', really? You must be really really unwell.
What kind of cake do you like?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Lemon cake, coffee cake, vanilla cake
I love lots of cake.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I bet you like caterpiller cake
I bet you could squish two or three between your toes during a really good session.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Caterpillar cake is fucking win

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I disagree
except for the chocolate face and feet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Last time I bought a £4.99 ASDA Chocolate Catpillia cake, I took it to a b4sh for everyone; everyone likes cake, so why not?
But I looked in with absolute horror when the first slice, the slice with the fondont head, got cut off. I saw them slice it down and watched it fall over, while I was using my strongest mind power going "Nononono, don't you dare give that slice to someone else", you see, I couldn't say anything, because I'd look like a right fucking autistic internet fatty if I demanded the head piece, which is without a doubt the best one (every single bite has some fondunt !). You know when you give someone 'evils' willing them to do something, knowing that if it was possible for someone to read your thoughts, they would read the shouting going on in your head, and this would be the perfect time to transmit my phsycicness "Give Me The Head PIece". But then, the person who cut the slice, puts it on a plate, and eats it ! Can you believe it? The cake cutter cut off the best bit on the whole cake and served it to themselves ! Fucking prick, should have glassed the cunt with an ashtray while he's doing a piss in an allyway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Can we take caterpiller cakes into the sushi restaurant?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I don't see why not, but I'm bagsying the head piece this time, I'm gonna speak up my mind and speak up for my god given devine heritage... I want the head bit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Keep a glass ashtray to hand, just in case...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

As a child, one of the most vicious battles
in our family was over who got the white chocolate face off the caterpillar cake
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Deffo, that slice is an honor bestowed upon whoever is the subject of the occasion.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Even funerals?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

"...And that's why I'm banned from all future open casket funerals."

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

We weren't allowed sweets
so I have no doubt our battles were specially vicious and unlimited by any petty considerations such as whose birthday it was
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Coffee cake = crime against humanity
As is fruit cake, in my experience.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

You're completely wrong on both counts

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Every fruit cake I've ever had has been dry and dense, not enjoyable in the slightest.
That's why I haven't eaten it in years.

And coffee is inferior to Tea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

You are wrong on that last point
they are both equal, the winner is determined by the time at which you are drinking them.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Coffee = never

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Your face = Munchy Box*

*In both senses of the word
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Fatty, greasy, would be helped by a good battering?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I was gonne go with, unpleasant to look at, randomly hairy
and full of your own spunk.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I wasn't even aware I could self fellate...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I'm referring to the "munchy box"

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Just got that, ahh fuck.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I think most men know whether they can do this or not.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

It's all so clear now...
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1377375
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

HAHAHA!!!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Sporto is married with two kids
You can't blame him for trying
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I think if I could do that, I wouldn't swallow, and I wouldn't kiss myself afterwards until I brush my teeth.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

If Christmas Pudding was nice, people would have them more than once a year and wouldn't need to drown it in brandy and creme.
OH MY DAYZ, last christmas, I had a real hankering for marks'n'sparks brandy cornish clotted creme over microwaved mince pies.

Today, this evening, I shall recreate this pleasure.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Christmas pudding is delicious
Christmas dessert of choice, though people unbelievably opted for cheesecake last year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I wonder if you could combine cheesecake and christmas pud?
For the last, like, 5 years, I've wanted to try frying christmas pudding in butter. I saw Heston Bloomingtile do it, but the thing is, all the left overs end up going to Debs and Aunty Barbera, and even though I'm one of the "Single people who lives by themselves", I _never_ get left overs, and I'm growing very very bitter about the whole thing. Like, seriously bitter. Last year I sliced off some really crispy bits of fat on the duck, then put them behind all the bottles of pickles in the fridge, and STILL they went missing. 4 years in a row now I've been neglected. AND WHATS WORST, right, is that Aunty Sonya (Deb's mum) declaired last year that Debs was supposed to get all the spare duck because Sonya bought it.

Even though I bought and made an entire course, I was to be a second class citizan in my own mother's house.

I've given up expecting any leftovers this year, they can take the lot for all I care, don't cry for me, I'm already dead inside.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

You should come for dinner at my in laws instead,
You can spend the entire dinner staring at my sister in laws knockers and drinking wine.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Do you have mulled wine? I love that stuff, tastes like spicy ribeena.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

If you want mulled wine Gonz
I will make mulled wine.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I have these mulled wine teabags
that I bought in France where they take that shit seriously. You just pour in your wine, add some sugar, add a teabag or two and warm it up.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Oh man, yes please.
And do you think that Marks'n'Sparks have started doing their chocolate port yet? I'll bring some of that if they do. I bought two bottles last year, but Sexface drank them both and didn't replace them.

Oh god, I really sound like a whiney "OH WOE IS ME, I'M SO HARD DONE BY" person today.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

We got some Mulled Wine Tea from Whittards last year
It's lovely stuff
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

The thing is, they know that I'm really funny about eating in front of people, and that I can't really eat a lot in one go...
... that I normally have my meal over a few hours, just grazing, rather than scoffing the lot. I can't eat lots of food 'en mass. So I make up my plate, and have some, and then leave it for a bit, have a fag, have a bit more... so the left overs are more important to me because I've only had like 1/4 of a meal. But the other "Aww, moi pour baybi, live by your own? No love in your life? Well, here's a plate of cold food, that might make things better"ers get to stuff their gobs TWICE.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

You could just ask for them?
And I've had Christmas pudding cheesecake. It was okay, not brilliant though.

Alternatively, pile your plate with three times the amount, eat what you like and clingfilm the rest
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

That's the thing ! I do !
I ask for them, I talk about them, I say what I want to do with them, talk about them for ages and ages.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I agree
I can't stand the stuff, although it is far better than standard fruit cake.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Oh cool, I do a lovely lemon drizzle cake. Really sharp lemon syrup soaking through it.
I think I might on the way to work go to Costa, they do a fucking lush banana cupcake thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Lemon Drizzle cake is wonderful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

The hyperactivity thing isn't true
but going from high blood sugar to low blood sugar does cause you to feel sleepy and a bit "bleurgh" which is why people that eat macdonalds often feel a bit shit afterwards and then eat more.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

This could explain my incredibly bad mood
I haven't had sugar in any refined form in ages, and last night I had a load of lemon icing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Well, I think that's unlikely to be the cause.
You're just a woman, and therefore prone to being grumpy for no apparent reason
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Bollocks is that true
I'm always cheerful.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I think that was on QI.
Whenever I think I know something like that, I assume that I got it from QI anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I have a worrying feeling they're going to come back and get me soon
But I was absolutely starving this morning
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)

5am start for me = hungry cow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Oof, I can imagine

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

4th fucking morning in a row
Stupid back
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Ugh, I sympathise.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I am on Monty'esque amounts of MDs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Fucking hell, are you even aware where you are?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Hi mum

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I got almost no sleep last night
and ate cake for breakfast.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Am good today. I feel human again.
I have been cheered by two Xmas party invites this morning.

Bloody hell, is that the time of year already!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Aye, our work one was organised last week
16th December, Alderley Edge.

Am quite looking forward to it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I have two work do's.
And have received 2 more lawyer invites today.

Should have about 12 when we get to the Yuletide. Hangovers are a bastard that time of year but I have managed to figure out a snoozing position at my desk that isn't outrageously obvious.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Friday night for ours, so I don't mind too much
It's fairly likely I'll end up going on 2, but that's only because I live with 2 of the factory floor staff.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Friday Xmas parties are eminently sensible.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)