Oh Woe is Me! WOE IS ME!
Now I know how really really sad people who have had terrible things happen to them must feel.

Kristine can't come and meet me in New York anymore as her car isn't working properly and it's a really, really long drive from Virginia.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:00, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Most. Transparent. Lie. Ever.
She took one look at your bent beard and decided gobbling off her dog would be preferable to being seen in public with you.

Hope this helps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

she's probably busy doing her food shopping

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Her hair simply will. not. dry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

It's almost as if, just when it might be starting to get dry
she ends up spraying it with the shower hose again.

I can't understand it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Some people just live for the wet hair, Al.
Let it go, man.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:05, Reply)

He has let his hair go.
Far far away.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:06, Reply)

*same joke fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Oh man, I can't believe I let such a personal bit of information loose on the internet and you're all mocking me mercilously for it.
I can't understand anyone who would do that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:08, Reply)

probably the kind of cunt that gets their suits altered by a tailor, I'll wager.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I reckon you might be onto something there.
I reckon, next time I'm at a bash, I'm going to look out for the people wearing cheap looking shiny suits that seem to fit really well and avoid them.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:10, Reply)

who would wear a suit to a bash?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Probably the sort of mean spirited person who would mock someone for going a bit thin on top.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:15, Reply)

what a vile subhuman being

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Yeah I know, but when you actually Monty, he's kind of fun.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Is Monty a verb now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)

as in
fancy heading out tonight for some Montying?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I think I'll leave that alone
it's more amusing as a typo.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Those over 35 who realise they can't wear t-shirts and jeans anymore?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:15, Reply)

fuck that
i'll wear jeans til i'm 135 if i feel like it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:16, Reply)

+kg

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Ha ha. Nicely done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:18, Reply)

The rules are different for girls
But a different set applies for fat girls too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)

what about girls who are skinny on the bottom half
you know, where the jeans go?

or huge on the bottom half, but skinny on the top?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I knew a girl who had a small upper half, and a massive lower half
It was mental.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:19, Reply)

That was a wheelchair.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Looked more like elephantiasis

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:22, Reply)

That's why she doesn't wear leggings.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:19, Reply)

nah, my legs are genuinely in pretty good shape (well, it's all relative)
they don't look bad in leggings. it's finding something to wear over the top. THAT is the issue.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:20, Reply)

That and your age

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:22, Reply)

i am nowhere near 35!
in a younger sense. not an older one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)

You were 14 in 1992 though?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Don't point out her inconsistancies
she'll say that you fancy her really.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)

...which would make her 33 now.
unless time behaves differently for female lawyers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)

It might do.
It certainly costs more, at least.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:29, Reply)

And 33 is "nowhere near 35"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:30, Reply)

ah, sorry, I wasn't backing either of you up
I was just proving that I can still do sums at this time on a wednesday.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:31, Reply)

S'ok, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this anyway
and this sub-thread has reached the limit of my screen making it quite hard to follow.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)

you are utterly on IGNORE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:35, Reply)

an excellent maxim for life.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:18, Reply)

He IS letting his hair go, Mighters.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Nah she can't even be bothered to do that. She's staying in.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Go down and see her.

( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

No, it's a really long way.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

But she was willing to travel it to see you.
Does she mean less to you than you do to her?
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

No Kroney, you're missing the point, she isn't willing to travel that far to see me
because her car isn't working properly and she reckons it'll cost about 100 dollars and take about 5 hours. This is a perfectly reasonable excuse in my book.

I won't have a car at all.

Now, is there anything else you would like explaining?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:07, Reply)

and she only had to pour half a pound of sugar into it
to stop it working, too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Yes, he'd like to know who Tommy Chong is, please.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:11, Reply)

I flew about that distance once. Took less than 45 minutes from terminal to terminal
didn't cost much, either. You wouldn't need a car for that. In fact it's actively discouraged. They don't fit in the overhead bins, you see.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:11, Reply)

HAHA

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)