Alt:
Amuse bouche: Iced gazpacho topped with a watercress puree

Starter: Lobster risotto

Soup course: French onion

Fish course: Scallops with black pudding, on a bed of pureed peas.

Sorbet: Gin & lime.

Game course: breast of pheasant in a beer and honey sauce on puy lentils.

Main course: Rare rib of beer, goose fat roast potatoes, morrell , shallot & port reduction, baby turnips, steamed savoy cabbage, roast parsnips, mashed carrot & swede.

Pudding: Bitter chocolate and black cherry fondant with crème anglaise.

Cheese: Selection of blue cheeses with water biscuits, celery and chilled slices of apple.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:53, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That whole meal is ruined by celery

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:54, Reply)

It's just a garnish
No one really eats the celery with the cheese course and when the plate is returned to the kitchen they rescue the bit of celery to stick on the next cheese platter.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I do eat celery with cheese. It is magnificent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

How can anyone put so much thought into a meal
and end up including swede?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Swede is nice
But I think parsnip would combine better with carrot in a mash.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Parsnips are best when roasted.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:57, Reply)

The swede helps accentuate the sweetness of the meat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:57, Reply)

But, but, it's fucking minging
I concur wholeheartedly about the roasted parsnips, however
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Swede is delicious you oaf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Will sir be requiring any wines or ales to accompany his meal?
As the French say: having a meal without wine is like having a wife without a mistress.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I have started to think about the wines to accompany this menu (a different one with each course obviously) but have yet to finalise the list.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Do you not think, perhaps, just maybe
you've put a little too much thought in to this...?
(berk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Trust me, when you're walking around the street in the evening, pushing a buggy trying to get your baby to sleep you end up thinking about all sorts of things.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Yoga ball, babe in arms, bouncfe up and down, works a treat for mini ape
/mumsnet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

She gets bored with being bounced after about 10 minutes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)

oh...that's all I've got I'm afraid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Brandy in the milk

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Thanks for playing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:08, Reply)

These are the actions of a man who fully expects to end up on Death Row
Or, looking at that menu, a fat cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Or both.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I was forced to make some very difficult choices with this.
Nearly went for lamb with a white onion sauce instead of the beef and grouse instead of the pheasant.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:07, Reply)

herb crusted rack of lamb with a red wine sauce
Beef wellington
BBQ leg of lamb

fuck me I'm hungry now
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:08, Reply)

BBQ lamb sounds wrong.

(berk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I once ate lamb that had been cooking in a roasting bag on a BBQ
Possibly the best lamb I've ever had, so tender it'd fall apart on your fork. Also made it mildly difficult to eat tidily.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:15, Reply)

BBQ lamb can be awesome. Sardines are the best food for the BBQ overall IMHO.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I've never had a barbequed sardine, either
although that sounds less odd than lamb, to me.
(berk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:18, Reply)

How, HOW is BBQ lamb odd?
www.google.co.uk/#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&source=hp&q=BBQ+lamb+recipe&pbx=1&oq=BBQ+lamb+recipe&aq=f&aqi=g2g-j2&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=1156l3452l0l3811l15l9l0l2l2l0l360l2221l0.2.4.3l11l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&fp=4ba2e86320ac44d0&biw=884&bih=249
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:23, Reply)

She meant YOU are odd
odd bent
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:24, Reply)

When you said BBQ lamb
I thought you meant lamb with BBQ sauce, not lamb which had been cooked on a barbeque. I've never done the latter but I will grant you it sounds less weird to me than the former.
(berk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:31, Reply)

BBQ sauce?
I thought you were posh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I said it sounded weird...

(berk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:35, Reply)

fishier than a sardines cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:23, Reply)

lamb is the best BBQ EVA
You can do a whole leg, and it will be caramalised and crispy on the outside with a delicious smokey taste and pink and moist in the middle.

that twat who owns have of padstow has an excellent recipe that includes a chilli rub.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:18, Reply)

He owns so much of the place it's known as Padstein.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:20, Reply)

that's the one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:22, Reply)

And they say nurses have it tough

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Nurses have it easy compared to what I went through compiling this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Of course they do
In other news, your list made me hungry enough to eat my packed lunch earlier than intended, and I think that may have brought on another attack of the squits which I had rather hoped would have passed by now.

Updates to follow.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Glad to have helped.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Please let us know where this falls on the Bristol Scale*


*Please don't
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Update; squits are indeed back
I blame Battered for this.

The worst part is, I went to the bog, treated myself to a fag, then had to go back to the toilet again before returning to my desk. A long afternoon looms.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:44, Reply)

You're welcome.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I'm now drooling.
Apart from the celery. You heathen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I don't think we will end up eating like that this evening
After the VAST quantity of alcohol we are going to consume.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I fear you are right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:09, Reply)

is it your last meal because you're going to die of a heart attack trying to digest it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:23, Reply)