squawk?
squawk
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:44, 25 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You need a shade on that light of yours, you'll end up with singed wings mark my words

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Just been dropped off home by the special bus?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:46, Reply)

*whistles we are family*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:48, Reply)

STILL NO POO
13 minutes to go
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:47, Reply)

*shits*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I hope you are travelling home on public transport
You really don't want to shit in your own car.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Does shanks' pony count as public transport?
The advantage of living in a small city is that you can walk from one side of it to the other relatively quickly.

*obvious Alan Partridge quote*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:53, Reply)

The walk home will be dangerous for the citizens of Norwich
At least there will be some dark doorways to duck into and releive yourself.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:55, Reply)

why are we having poo update?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:57, Reply)

He has a runny bot and needs to tell us about it
You know what he is like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:58, Reply)

oooh, cool
*awaits next update*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I don't know wether to go home now or wait until this story concludes.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:00, Reply)

I hope there is an exciting denoument
where he explodes in an eruption of poo on a bus covering some little old lady in foul smelling slurry, then some chavs come over to beat him up but are defeated by another wave which makes some of them slip over while others are just overcome by fumes. Then he shits in a hedge.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:03, Reply)

i like how excited you are every day to be a parrot
I think I'd be happy to be a parrot, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:57, Reply)

I would have thought you would have prefered a cock or two.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)

baddum tish!
yes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:01, Reply)

being 5 foot 8 is why I had to do catalogue rather than catwalk.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:00, Reply)

I've had 3 quotes today to redo my extension roof
first one was over 2 grand (later revised to £1700), second was £1050 using some fancy rubber stuff, just got the 3rd via email - £675 - using felt but not top-end felt since I'm going to sell anyway.

I think the first one was a bit dodgy.

On a wave of doing-stuff-itis I also got new work shoes (desperately needed) and 3 new shirts (not needed but they look nice).

All this instead of lying on the couch watching telly which is how an afternoon off usually goes. Woo!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:20, Reply)

For throwing down a few rolls of Jewsons underlay and capping it's pretty apparent you're being ripped stupid.
When they see the likes of you, internally they rub they're hands together. You're like a Christmas bonus to them.

Hope this helps
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:53, Reply)

Thanks Rory
It does need a bit more than that doing though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)

not bad
how are you?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:39, Reply)

I think I've managed to perfect the rare steak technique.
Taken me I'd say 10 years of trying.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:40, Reply)

But when you get it...
Wow!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:41, Reply)

I use the OK technique, works a charm.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

alright bollocks parrot

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 18:51, Reply)