Really? Get that sorted. It's not like you're the sort of person that was born to be driven.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:09, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I certainly cannot afford to learn now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Don't bother
There are too many cunts on the road.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:11, Reply)

*waves*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Monts
I'll teach you to drive, mate.

Easy.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Few beers...we could make a day out of it.
Get on the motorway and go somewhere nice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Sun is shining, birds are singing etc.
Get some "driving lager" like Fosters and away we go.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Excellent. I'm in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:27, Reply)

You busy tonight?
I hear England are going to engage the Swedes at Association Football.

Curry (for you) & footy (for me)?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I am not busy at all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Cool.
Will we get any other takers?

Oi, Battered, your Mrs back yet?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:31, Reply)

She is back.
So I'll have to miss out on you driving Miss Daisy on MD's. Shame. No. Really. A right shame.

EDIT: And on the curry I'm afraid. Which is a genuine shame.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Pussy whipped!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:35, Reply)

It appears there has been an outbreak of gaiety in the London area.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Well you were the one wanking back stage in Spitalfields when Suggs did his PA last week...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I was sure you hadn't seen me.
DAMN.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

DF's a 'taker', I understand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

He'd have to turn too many tricks this alvo to raise the train fare.
He'd have a rectal prolapse.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Would I fuck, I'd invest in shares of KY if I were you mate
See you at 7
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Oh you've got to let me see this happen
I'll get the popcorn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Can you imagine?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I really doubt it, that's why I want to be there
If you could get him to stop hoovering coke off the dashboard I'd be impressed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Put swarfega on the dash.
Simples.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:32, Reply)

And how would you counteract Monty's innate hatred of all people everywhere?
In his hands, a car becomes a DEADLY WEAPON
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Zen meditation.
And a cattle prod.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

You've got him there, Darth.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I can genuinely see you, middle of a driving test, getting along perfectly well
veering onto the kerb to deliberately mow down some kid in jeggings and a Bowie T-shirt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:47, Reply)

That would only be marked down as a minor fault though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:01, Reply)

If he was wearing shoes without socks as well it should be an automatic pass

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I can envisage Monty sticking swords on each wheel like Boudica's chariot.
Taking pedestrians out at the ankle.

If the THE FUCKING GREAT MARY learned to drive.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Hahaha!
What a puff! Can't even drive? There are spotty 17 year old's that can drive!

Can Lusty drive? Do you have to be driven around by your WOMAN?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

No she can't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:51, Reply)