One of my colleagues once received this as the first email off a supplier he'd spoken over the phone, once
"Morning Hun

Hope your ok :-)

April has sent me your details, your still waiting on your cartridge?

April only does the admin side of stuff so I’m going to look into it for you chick.

That Stacey acts more blonde than me sometimes haha

It was for the Epson weren’t it?

Anyway, all my contact details are below, so if you need anything, prices ect

Feel free to give me a quick shout, or even if you just fancy a chat :-)

We do everything from your paperclips to your servers hun.

I look my customers to know who they deal with aswell, so ive sent you a pic of me an 1 of the girls in the office :-)

I will get back to you on the whereabouts of your toner

An I look forward to hearing from you

Thanks
Charlotte x"

Attached was a picture of two girls tarted up to the eyelids.

Absolutely cracked me up when I saw that, he had no idea how to react.

EDIT: Apologies for line spacings, that's genuinely how it came across.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:24, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

he should have sent a cock shot back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

She'd have been over the moon

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Hey, it's big, but it's not that big

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

do you work with Adam?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I fucking hope not, although the lad who received the email is an old b3tan
Hasn't posted in years though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I want to kill it with my hands.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Yeah but were they hot?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

They sell toner for a living, what do you think?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Our usual supplier is quite attractive, oddly.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

If I had a job where i had to deal with "toner" I would have to kill myself

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:48, Reply)

A Brummie called Tony?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I think a job doesn't really have an effect on your looks.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Boxer?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:50, Reply)

No, I bet the % of hot woman at a successful London PR agency for example is much higher than at
"Tony's Toner: for all your toner needs"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I guess it is good PR to employ hot women

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Well maybe, and same with a model agency.
But that's not where the majority of people work is it. Especially oop north where AA lives.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:53, Reply)

this is actually an incorrect assumption for girls
an averagely attractive girl can make herself look stunning if she works out to get a killer figure and spends a fortune on clothes, hair and make-up. applied properly, not with a trowel. and to afford the gym, shopping and poochery, the girl needs a good job. naturally hot girls and naturally fugly girls, fair enough.

same does not apply to men. can't polish those average turds.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I get your point, but it's not quite as simple as that IMO.
Average guys CAN certainly improve themselves - good clothes, working out, looking after themselves etc. They might not look like Brad Pitt, but they can definitely make a big improvement and get themselves noticed. Not to the same extent as a girl though, I grant you.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)

oh yeah, they can improve themselves
but the original point was that a job does not affect your attractiveness, and i beg to differ for the average bird. i think that the average looker who fights to turn herself into a stunner is more likely to be career-minded than the average one who is happy to gain 20lbs and wash her hair every 3 days.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)

career-minded a cock tease who sleeps with the boss
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

surely if you sleep with someone
by definition you're not a cocktease?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Presumably she doesn't sleep with everyone, so therefore as far as the others are concerned, she is a cock tease.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)

One not too bad, the other just looked like a fake tanned, blonde haired nightmare.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I guess Robbie Savage had to have something to fall back on when his football career was over.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I thought that was dancing?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:51, Reply)

yes, I had to ignore that glaring fact for the purposes of making my point.
Also, mentioning it would have meant acknowledging that i know who is taking part in the dancing and I was too ashamed to out myself as such a massive bender, unlike you, who seems happy to do so...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Follow him on Twitter, probably the only time I've ever not despised him is when he's taking the piss out of others on there

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I may as well, Twitter is the only place in the world that I actively seek out people I don't like
I'm not sure why I do that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Bender

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Haha, jesus christ. That's fucking mental.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I saw an emergency dentist a while back and had emailed to get the appointment
Lala the receptionist has been sending me uncomfortably friendly emails ever since. I reckon she wants to strap me into the dentists chair and give me a filling to remember, if you know what I mean. Up the arse.
( broadsword, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:10, Reply)