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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's bbc news link time!www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/15818910
I lolled at how stupid some fuckers are.
Also I've just got a mail from someone and their email address has an X at the end of their name, it's like they're kissing me every time I get an email. Weird.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:24, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I saw that last night and assumed the picture was 'shopped.What is the weird fascination with big arses?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:28,
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nothing fucking explains Alex Reid.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:36,
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I have no idea who that is.I assume this is a good thing.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:37,
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you assume 150% correct.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:38,
Reply)
I just googled, he married Katie Price for about a month or something.I lost interest.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:39, Reply)
Oh, right, I know who he is now.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:39,
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Apparentlyhe's now knocked up that annoying tart from 'celebrity' big brother who wasn't a celebrity.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:40,
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That doesn't really narrow it down though, does it? ;)(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:41,
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The one that was briefly married to that bloke from that band who nobody can remember?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:41,
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she's advertising some pikey christmas shit at the momenti told my flatmate it was leona lewis. oops.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:42,
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thankfully, I'm completely lost.One of my friends keeps going on about "Vajanuary" on facebook, though. Someone tell me this is made-up?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
I think this started as a Sarah Milican joke.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:16,
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Ah, I seeStill, knowing the girl in question, she'll probably do it and treat us to some cracking shots.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:21,
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I'm extremely annoyed that I do know who he isbecause I do try and avoid that kind of vacuous shit.
He used to be a cage fighter. I can only assume the cage won.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:40,
Reply)
I doubt he told them"hey, I'm putting cement in your arse"
But I still think people like that should be left to die naturally to at least stop us evolving backwards.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:37,
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ahaha ... no, not at all.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:40,
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One desires large hindquartersand one cannot tell untruths.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:43,
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Indeed, I would go as far as to suggest that one's fraternal relationswould be entirely unable do claim anything other than this.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:59,
Reply)
I sent an email to my male bosssigned 'Scarpe, XXX'. And one to the missus that said, 'Kind Regards, Scarpe'.
Neither of them were impressed, for differing reasons.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:42,
Reply)
I actually hate signing off emails'Yours sincerely' is just all sorts of wrong for an email, no matter how many times I'm told to 'treat it like you would a letter'.
'Kind regards' is not something I'd use in any other context,
'Best' is just shit
'Thanks' only really works when there's actually something to say thank you for. 'This is all wrong and you're an idiot, thanks, Scarpe'...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:46,
Reply)
CheersThe ones that bug me irrationally are the ones where their so-called "kind regards" are actually part of their email signature, rendering it even more impersonal.
Cheers
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:51,
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I sign all mine "cheers"I blame that Legless cunt.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:59,
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yeah, he was a nightmare.always nicking your pint.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:09,
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I was emailing myself work so I could finish it at home.And had 'Tits' as the subject, and 'Fannies' as the message. Then I clicked to send it to Lisa (one of my lecturers) instead of Liam (me). Great days.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:52, Reply)
Oh man, totally watching this when I get homewww.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-15824295
Polar bears are THE best bears.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Oh man Rory have you been paying attention to the Notch/Yogscast drama on twitter?It's shaking the Minecraft community to it's core.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)
i sent an entire email destined for my wife, full of personal things and some embarrasing baby talkto someone at work
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
'Dear Mrs Nakey-poosI’m so sorry about last night.
It’s not you, it’s me – I’m being bullied a lot by Monty Boyce at the moment and it’s really getting to me. I wuv you SO SO much – I don’t know why you put up with me, with my tiny, smelly penis, halitosis and spasticated face.
Hugs4U bbz
*waggles eyebrows*
Nakeypoos x o x o x o x'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
Shit, do you work at my company?*hides under desk*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:35,
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oh dear god*sets diversion by rolling coppers down the stairs*
*takes lift*
*runs away*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:45,
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I'm going to say what we're all thiking.Baby got back.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
This'll teach people to get cosmetic surgery done by gypsies.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:24,
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They'll be tarmacing over peoples acne scars next(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:32,
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One of my colleagues once received this as the first email off a supplier he'd spoken over the phone, once"Morning Hun
Hope your ok :-)
April has sent me your details, your still waiting on your cartridge?
April only does the admin side of stuff so I’m going to look into it for you chick.
That Stacey acts more blonde than me sometimes haha
It was for the Epson weren’t it?
Anyway, all my contact details are below, so if you need anything, prices ect
Feel free to give me a quick shout, or even if you just fancy a chat :-)
We do everything from your paperclips to your servers hun.
I look my customers to know who they deal with aswell, so ive sent you a pic of me an 1 of the girls in the office :-)
I will get back to you on the whereabouts of your toner
An I look forward to hearing from you
Thanks
Charlotte x"
Attached was a picture of two girls tarted up to the eyelids.
Absolutely cracked me up when I saw that, he had no idea how to react.
EDIT: Apologies for line spacings, that's genuinely how it came across.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
I fucking hope not, although the lad who received the email is an old b3tanHasn't posted in years though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:35,
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They sell toner for a living, what do you think?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46,
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Our usual supplier is quite attractive, oddly.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46,
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If I had a job where i had to deal with "toner" I would have to kill myself(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:48,
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No, I bet the % of hot woman at a successful London PR agency for example is much higher than at"Tony's Toner: for all your toner needs"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:50,
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I guess it is good PR to employ hot women(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:52,
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Well maybe, and same with a model agency.But that's not where the majority of people work is it. Especially oop north where AA lives.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:53, Reply)
this is actually an incorrect assumption for girlsan averagely attractive girl can make herself look stunning if she works out to get a killer figure and spends a fortune on clothes, hair and make-up. applied properly, not with a trowel. and to afford the gym, shopping and poochery, the girl needs a good job. naturally hot girls and naturally fugly girls, fair enough.
same does not apply to men. can't polish those average turds.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
I get your point, but it's not quite as simple as that IMO.Average guys CAN certainly improve themselves - good clothes, working out, looking after themselves etc. They might not look like Brad Pitt, but they can definitely make a big improvement and get themselves noticed. Not to the same extent as a girl though, I grant you.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)
oh yeah, they can improve themselvesbut the original point was that a job does not affect your attractiveness, and i beg to differ for the average bird. i think that the average looker who fights to turn herself into a stunner is more likely to be career-minded than the average one who is happy to gain 20lbs and wash her hair every 3 days.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:25,
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surely if you sleep with someoneby definition you're not a cocktease?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:51,
Reply)
Presumably she doesn't sleep with everyone, so therefore as far as the others are concerned, she is a cock tease.(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
One not too bad, the other just looked like a fake tanned, blonde haired nightmare.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
I guess Robbie Savage had to have something to fall back on when his football career was over.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
yes, I had to ignore that glaring fact for the purposes of making my point.Also, mentioning it would have meant acknowledging that i know who is taking part in the dancing and I was too ashamed to out myself as such a massive bender, unlike you, who seems happy to do so...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
Follow him on Twitter, probably the only time I've ever not despised him is when he's taking the piss out of others on there(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:55,
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I may as well, Twitter is the only place in the world that I actively seek out people I don't likeI'm not sure why I do that.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:00,
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Haha, jesus christ. That's fucking mental.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:02,
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I saw an emergency dentist a while back and had emailed to get the appointmentLala the receptionist has been sending me uncomfortably friendly emails ever since. I reckon she wants to strap me into the dentists chair and give me a filling to remember, if you know what I mean. Up the arse.
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broadsword, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
one time one of my emplyoees accidentally dialed my number instead of her boyfriends and was talking dirty to me til is aid sorry love, did you meant o call your fiance?and she hung up
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)
Did she shout, fuck of gary and doing some work, at you afterwards(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:43,
Reply)
no she didn't, this was years ago before louise joined us can't even remember her name she was nice tho(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)
perhaps she's the one who shares his quarter of a million pound wagepacket.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
I'm choosing to believe you, but will only continue if you give me a job.(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)
what can you do? we're after part time telesales people but I assume that's not your kind of thing?I might be binning some staff early next years so could have positions available in accounts or admin?
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I'm an analyst, I've worked with telephony and website analytics.I do forecasting and performance monitoring. In my other screen I have the most expensive health database in the world which I'm playing around with and have full access to.
That said, I'd never work in fucking telesales.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
meh, nor does heunless he gets a shift on the drive-in window, i guess.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:26,
Reply)
crikey your awful bitter, somebody needs to bust your craw before you get the screaming ab dabs(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
I couldn't imagine a more soulless way to make a livingthan having to ring people up and ask them if they want to buy some shit that they don't really need.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
that's why we only hire part timers to do it, mums who don't mind doing it for a few hours a couple of days a weekfairly lucrative if you get the right people
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
Young mothers are a bit of a gold mine for us as well.They prefer to work part time or split shifts which fits into some of our call peaks. Without wasting our time when they're we're not busy. And they still get to pick up their kids from school etc.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Hold up now, we have TTF's real name?Damn it, who creeped her off the site before I could get some bumhole pictures?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:03,
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her name is louise ******** and she's got a face like a downserand she got really offended when i told her that for some reason
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:09, Reply)
What kind of downser? Is it...- "Hahaaha, you fucking ugly mong", but really, you'd shag her all night long and show pictures to your mates... to show off.
- "Hahaaha, you fucking ugly mong", but really, she does actually look like a mong, but you would show pictures to your mates.... for the lols.
- "Hahaaha, you fucking ugly mong", but really, she does look like a mong, but you wouldn't show the pictures to anyone.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:15,
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option C, she's got one of those round chubby faces and when shes flustered she gets hives and goes bright right and spotty(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
we were talking about which one of us is more intelligent the other dayi conceded that it was her, i just have a way with words
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:24, Reply)
you have internal phones at your branch of mcdonald's?of course you don't, you spastic. now stop telling lies and go wipe down the floor in the gents.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
About this pug buisness, will you be wanting it afterwards (or any part of it) ? (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:02,
Reply)
I haven't read the thread yet so I donno if anyone has already said this.But I reckon she just went to him and said "Make my booty licious" and he just did it, that she didn't know what the 'doctor' was doing.... I don't know loads of stuff that the doctor does, I just trust them to do it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:59,
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That caused Gonz's arse problems?I hadn't realised they had got together, how sweet.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:14,
Reply)
The American Society of Plastic Surgeons has recently warned about the dangers of 'pumping parties'man, there's always someone who wants to spoil the fun
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broadsword, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
Hahaha what a fucking idiot.Just when I think I really can't lose any more faith in the human race, some other dick comes along and pushes the bar that bit lower.
I just sign off emails with my name. No "regards", no "sincerely", no "thanks", I feel none of these things for the people I email and I see no reason to pretend.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
I don't even bother with my name.It's in my email address, so I don't see the need.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
You won't get a job with that attitude(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
Well, unless it's for something official like that.But at my last job everyone knew me anyway, plus my name was in the company email signature.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:52,
Reply)
Best gallery ever!www.guardian.co.uk/uk/gallery/2011/nov/21/1?fb=native#/?picture=382080126&index=0
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
It's how I picture us in our old age.Monty holding his cock in his hands and me looking on with dead eyes taking solace in jumpers.
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:52,
Reply)
It's how I picture you now(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:57,
Reply)
thank you for last night, it was much fun!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:14,
Reply)
any woman would be proud to have a go on lusty(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:20,
Reply)
rofl static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/11/20/1321789645462/Participant-in-The-Nation-014.jpg
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
lmaostatic.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/11/20/1321789640754/Enthusiasts-Participate-I-001.jpg
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I like how that link address has the word quim in it.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:53,
Reply)
Hahaha, I love how some of them look like their owners.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:20,
Reply)
"Yes, that really was me. I was a human, and I was unhappy with it. With the help of ChickenConverters, I found the motivation to turn into a chicken. It took a bit of will power, but I did it, and you can too. Call us now on 0800-123-456. Make today the first day of the rest of your life".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:28,
Reply)
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