i have 4 giant pillows on my bed
the spare room/flatmate's room has loads of beautiful ornamental pillows which, much to my rage, she generally leaves on the floor.

seriously. seriously. if my motherfucking trainee does not STOP HER FUCKING AWFUL HACKING COUGH WHICH HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A MONTH, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO GO OVER AND SMACK HER. is this really horrible of me, or am i justified, in that i have to listen to her wetly hacking up her guts approximately every 10 mins??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:35, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

no, wait
it's every fucking 3 mins now.

why does she have to be so fucking sickly? it's just SELFISH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:36, Reply)

She should be taken out and shot in front of her family

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

i had to lol at that
clarkson is not afraid to speak his mind.

but this cough is more irritating than the strikers, even. it's rank and disgusting and rattling and i hate it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:38, Reply)

clarkson is not afraid to speak his mind spout shit that he doesn't mean for money.

Although I must admit, as a Guardian reader, I'm ashamed to be associated with the pathetic whining over reaction going on in their Comment Is Free section about this today.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

It was a joke, seriously, who fucking cares, whetever side of bthe fence you sit on

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Exactly.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I feel I really contributed greatly to the debate with that response, don't you?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

yes, because there is no debate to be had

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Send her home. She's clearly ill.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

she's had 12 days off sick in 2 months...!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Get rid of her, she is clearly more cut out for life in the public sector
Did you know spome public sector workers used to have sick days written into their contract? It was basically additional holiday
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Isn't that basically what Monty has?
Monty?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

She sounds like a consumptive
seriously, you ought to tell her to get herself referred to the hospital for checks and that. From what you've said, she is not normal or well.
(berk, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Give me her job

( WormuIus, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

i would if i could!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

As someone with a history of chronic bronchitis
I'd give you a thorough smacking right back.

It really is the most awful thing. You can't sleep, you can't move at anything faster than a crawl, and even the act of breathing can set you off coughing. I'm surprised she's not in tears on the bathroom floor, to be honest.

If you want to keep it from bothering you, either send her to a doctor (she needs antibiotics) or make sure she is constantly drinking - it's the only thing that stops the tickle.

Also, it hurts. And you physically can't stop it.
/cries
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

she has been on antibiotics for a month
and back to the doctors a number of times.

if i didn't share a room with her, i'd be sympathetic. but honestly. it's the worst noise in the world.

*seethes*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Send her this
e card
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Also
if it's annoying to you, imagine it in your own head, 24 hours a day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

She has to listen to your shite, give her a break.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)