i've just written a dazzling article
on what landlords can reasonably recover from tenants via service charges.

kill me. put me out of my misery.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:17, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I had a landlady who said as we did the exit inventory:
"blah blah blah and that'll be £60 for the carpet and curtain clean..."
I said woah there lady we cleaned the WASHABLE curtains and professionally cleaned the carpets so no need for that.
And she said "But we always charge for those things!"
It took a lot of to-ing and fro-ing for her to admit that if she's not getting those things done, she can't take the money and that maybe she should re-name it 'Leaver's Tax' if she wants it anyway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

What cunt faced arse weasel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

She had hands like a fella

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

what a stupid robbing bitch!
that is a technical legal term btw, s21 landlord and tenant act 1985, as inserted by s1 housing act 2004...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

*bums to death*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

NAKED GRANDMAS WITH SPORTSCOW JIZZING OVER THEM

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

hahaha!
Aim for the wrinkles!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Nature's polyfilla.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

*gives Pearl new necklace*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

The missus has a mate in Greece
who used to insist that her bloke offload his man custard on her face everyday as it was better than any skin cream.

She does have nice skin.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:28, Reply)

But you wouldn't want to kiss her on the cheek

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Her poor husband, being forced to ejaculate on her face every day.
The things some people have to endure.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Should we send him a sympathy card?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

With a picture of a red raw CDC?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:34, Reply)

maybe with a little paper tab
and when you move the tab sideways spunk comes out of the willy and onto a ladies face
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Dear god
mind you, there's probably more scientific basis for that than there is for the shite moisturiser companies come out with.

EDIT - even so, I'll still stick to nivea and wrinkles...
(berk, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

That's what the missus said as well :(

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Just say you were aiming for her tits and missed?
Mind you, hers are a fair target so I'm not sure that's much of an excuse.
(berk, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Trudat.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:36, Reply)

aren't you dead yet?
bloody easy-assassins...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I offered them a free meal at Club Cloppicana
They took it.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

genuine officelolling!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

you're like some kind of clunge nemesis

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

If I was a bad guy
I'd be the penguin. Because the resturaunt in my vagina causes me to waddle
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:38, Reply)