My first wife informed me she was ending it
right after I'd just given her a lift home from a girl's night out, having chivalrously stayed off the sauce that night specifically for that purpose. Had I known that little bombshell was coming I'd have let her fucking walk home. And locked the door.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:38, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bitches be trippin'.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I said to her a few months later
"You know, I think I would have coped better if you'd died, at least then I wouldn't be clinging on to some sort of hope that you'd change your mind" (she kept throwing out mixed signals afterwards).

Lo and behold, if she didn't only go and develop some hideous kind of incurable brain cancer some nine years later. What are the chances, eh?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Did she die?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Yes, nearly two years ago.
They even wrote a story about it in the local paper.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)

That's terrible.
You missed out on the life insurance.

Soz.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

I know, I'd have been fucking minted.
Inconsiderate bitch.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)

Just nine years
I call WITCH... Burn Him
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

You couldn't think that I'd be better off with £100,000 could you?
I know it would work.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)

and set man traps outside

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)

Yeah, but if she hadn't, you wouldn't have your current missus
who as we all know is pure gold win. So it worked out in the end.
(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)

This is very true, as I have often said.
As it happens, the missus used to live with the nephew of my ex's best friend, and also used to work with her boss many moons ago. Small world...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)