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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Poor old Kroney, dumped for being a poo-freezing 'trekkie'.
Ever been dumped/dumped anyone in a notable or amusing way? My pal Yeti was dumped last week for being too fat. Initially I thought this was spectacularly unpleasant until it dawned on me that this was nicer than telling him it was because his massively-inflated anecdotes are hugely tedious, especially by the third or fourth telling.

Alt: Describe your weekend plans
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:08, 285 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Your Mum dumped me for a woman.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
My mum dumped on a woman.
On Christmas Day, in front of the whole family.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
That wasn't a woman.
I was just doing a really good impression.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
You have a rare talent.
And a skid-mark on your chest.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Is it wrong that I now have a "wind sock" in my trousers?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
You have a gaping, flapping, distended anus?
It is wrong, yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Is that not a pink sock?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I think the all time classic for me was, "my ex proposed and I'm thinking about it" text I recieved.
I'm quite glad I got away from that one though, she's rubbish at facebook.

My housemate is trying to invite people round to play board games tonight. How can I stop that happening, I'm going to pretend to have Norovirus or something...
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Shit on the couch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
I'm thinking more what I can add to the email flying round now.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
p.s.
I have shit on the couch?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Officechortle

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
If you have a mate who everyone hates, invite him.
It will be a short night.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)
I'm busy tonight.
Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:20, Reply)
hide the dice

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Proper harsh

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Kidnap the "firefly" box set and threaten to burn it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Ha, he does have the firefly box set,
but I think threatening the BSG collectors edition box set would be more effective.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
I had a best "pal" who wanted to get in my girlfriend's knickers tell her that I'd fucked someone else
This quickly led to a breakdown of the relationship when she twatted a vodka and coke off my elbow. Thing was, I hadn't fucked anyone else.

They now live together and have twins and I have a scar
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
I'm quite looking forward to the emo wailings of Maximinimus when he returns after being dumped
well for five minutes anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Where did he go?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
He got some random from the internet up the duff, like you do

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Really?
I must have missed that one
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Oh yeah there were some dreadful naked pictures doing the rounds or something like that

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
*makes note not to search*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Urgh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
You're looking at those pictures aren't you?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
who isn't?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
fr srius?
not a b3tan I assume?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
She appeared briefly on talk, after he started spreading his muck on her, I don't think she got the best of receptions

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Class.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
He tried flirting with her on /talk
it was along the lines of
Maxi: I've got a big penis tell them all how big my penis is, they're all just jealous at how big my penis is and how good at the sex I am. TELL THEM

Chick: Yes dear you have a big penis.

I had to leave my desk I was laughing so much at that thread.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)
It's just reminded me of one of my best zings of all time
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post963329
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)
*golf claps*
Very good
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Fucking brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)
For a crafty sherman?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)
I got ditched by a woman I lived with. It was her house.
I packed my bag, said I'd come back for the rest of my stuff and left.

I got outside and had no fucking idea where I was going to sleep that night. Called my Mum (as you do) and asked if I could stay for a few days, she said yes but that she was busy that night and could I stay in a hotel for the night!!

Captain popular.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Billy No-mates

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
I no, right?
A lonely night in a B & B with a supermarket sandwich and a fruitini for one.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Sounds delightful

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
my friend went on a date with a guy she didn't even like
but thought it would be polite to text him afterwards to say "thank you for dinner." to which he replied "and you. actually, i don't see any spark for us, but it would be nice to meet up from time to time to continue our eating adventures if you would like?"

she thought he was dumping her AND calling her fat. i didn't know how to disagree with that analysis really.

weekend - out for cocktails tonight. except that i will be swigging mineral water. gym and then cinema tomorrow. gym and then seeing a couple of b3tans on sunday. when i will also be swigging mineral water :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
What an odd thing to say.
You never say that until you have fucked them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)
i don't think he WANTED to fuck her, dude

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Unlike your ex?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Are you and your friends trying to date
EVERY gay man in this town?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
that was in manchester ACTUALLY

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Hope this helps
town country
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
He sounds like a proper fucking hooray henry cunt 'eating adventures'
what a fucking wanker. 'Thanks but no thanks mate, I'd rather boil my head, cheers'
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
that's pretty much what she said
and it was in manchester. hmmmm.

rory, did YOU date my friend???
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
hey
at least i was implying you could GET a date. which is an improvement on the usual "fat shut-in" jokes around here.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I once dumped a girl in her Valentine's Day card
I still feel a bit bad for that one.

Alt: Seeing a friend tonight, fixing internet in 3 houses tomorrow, relax, do nothing - in that order.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
That is excellent!
What was the verse?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are so dull
So I'm dumping you
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
It wasn't a verse
I remember it contained the following sentence, but not sure what else - "Remember I told you I loved you? I changed my mind."
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Roses are sharp
Violets are blunt
You are well dumped
You fat fucking cunt?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Much better than mine

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:29, Reply)
And mine

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Roses are dead
Violets are too
I have some of your second-hand sweetcorn lodged in my Japs-eye
From buggering you
(so you are dumped lol)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Urgh christ Monty.
*lobs breakfast at the wall*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Roses are red
Stachys are grey
I'm dating 'Swipe
Because I am gay.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:32, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Alt: This weekend is my 6th wedding anniversary
So I imagine it will be spent having my sexual advances rejected.
And probably a curry.

EDIT: Oops. My bad. Apparently I have been married for 7 years.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
It'll never last.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
I should be so lucky

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Not with his appetite.
The fat cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
I'm just struggling to shake off the baby weight. Alright?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Tell it to the scales, chubber.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Hahahahahaha!
One at a time please.

No coach parties!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)
"to be continued"

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Apparently breast-feeding is supposed to help you lose weight
but my wife won't let me.
Says it's for the baby, or something :(
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Punch her in the cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Nothing hurts more than having your curry rejected.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Ring sting

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:32, Reply)
My first major GF dumped me on my birthday
I'd taken the day off to do stuff about town with her, and she gave me the heave around mid-afternoon.

I generally work my birthdays these days.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I actually felt a glimmer of pity on reading that.
I am going soppy in my dotage.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Really?
I got a lazy lob-on.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
The perils of old age Monters
You never get one when you want one, and then one pops up during Newsnight.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)
This is precisely why I never watch Newsnight.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Lusty: "Monty, are you wanking over Paxo AGAIN?"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Lamb on Sunday then.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
But Kirsty Wark is a real MILF.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
She's not bad at all
Hence why I implied that Monty was bashing one out to Paxo.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Why thank you kindly. Humanity is not dead after all.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:36, Reply)
You're welcome.
And Happy Birthday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)
I don't think so, because contrary to the opinion I spread on here, I'm not really that much of a cunt
although I suspect the odd ex may disagree.

I've never really been dumped so I can't really comment on that one.

This weekend will probably involve buying a new kitchen. Rock and Roll.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
the header is a total lie, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
I once got dumped
Mid Shag, Thats the sort of stallion I am
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
That's fucking funny, Stallion.
But I call bullshit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Another failed anecdote king :(

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Unfortunately not
Maybe full on dumped was somewhat for comic effect but about halfway through (approx 37.2 seconds in) I was informed that the relationship wasnt working
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
The important question is. Did you continue shagging, or did you just shrivel up and cry?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)
I hope he did the "angry Pirate"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)
I hope this too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Office lol

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)
I'm betting on an unhappy happy finish

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)
There were no "winners" that night.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
I think she was the winner in the end
I have seen my finish face its not a pretty sight
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)
How have you seen your own finish face?
Have you been wanking in front of the mirror again?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)
He saw the polaroids she took.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Polaroids!
What do you think I am made of money, they came back from Boots on the 5 day processing...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Standing at thecounter saying you are not paying for these, as they are all blurred.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
They all had the
Over Exposed sticker on them.



*I am truly sorry for the quality of this pun*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
you had clearly not correctly adjusted
her aperture
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Groan

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Is that what you wheeze when you come first again?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)
how does that even happen?
was your willy still in?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)
I have found that being the dumper or dumpee is never amusing, soz.
Alt: I'm going to see Paul Jones at the Lights in Andover tonight. Then back with the memsahib for some tiffin. Home tomorrow to do drinking alone. Life ia all ups and downs at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
My friend R asked another guy A to pull his girlfirend so he'd have a reason to dump her (she was psycotic)
When said girl turned A down his pride was so hurt thgat he blurted out, "Whatever, I was only doing it because R asked me too..."
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Ouch.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Ouch indeed or hilarious
I should point out this was back in our teenage years, and they did break up so job was good'n
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)
But I bet that was enough to end it anyway.
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Alt: working and babysitting
also i may do loads of cokking for next week
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)
cokking?
is that all about doing things with your cok?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
My first wife informed me she was ending it
right after I'd just given her a lift home from a girl's night out, having chivalrously stayed off the sauce that night specifically for that purpose. Had I known that little bombshell was coming I'd have let her fucking walk home. And locked the door.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Bitches be trippin'.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)
I said to her a few months later
"You know, I think I would have coped better if you'd died, at least then I wouldn't be clinging on to some sort of hope that you'd change your mind" (she kept throwing out mixed signals afterwards).

Lo and behold, if she didn't only go and develop some hideous kind of incurable brain cancer some nine years later. What are the chances, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Did she die?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Yes, nearly two years ago.
They even wrote a story about it in the local paper.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)
That's terrible.
You missed out on the life insurance.

Soz.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I know, I'd have been fucking minted.
Inconsiderate bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Just nine years
I call WITCH... Burn Him
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)
You couldn't think that I'd be better off with £100,000 could you?
I know it would work.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)
and set man traps outside

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Yeah, but if she hadn't, you wouldn't have your current missus
who as we all know is pure gold win. So it worked out in the end.
(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)
This is very true, as I have often said.
As it happens, the missus used to live with the nephew of my ex's best friend, and also used to work with her boss many moons ago. Small world...
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I once had to dump someone I didn't realise I was going out with
until he introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend. He didn't take it well, the poor stalkery soul. Incessant tears and texts and everything.
(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
poor gonz

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Haha were you like that cat from Pepe le Pew?
I've been there. Shouldn't have gone to a wedding with him really.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)

gone to a wedding with him
crawled under a recently painted white fence
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)
properlolz there

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Story is
here. In retrospect he was actually wholesale mental...
(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)
What an idiot.
He should do what I do, and never tell them you are going out with them in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I've never been dumped.
But I've had them carry on so woefully that I've had to dump them. That's not to say they weren't 'tactically' dumping me by getting me to do it.
One lad, he was useless. I planned to tell him it was over, he came round, told me about this classic anxiety dream he'd had, his palms started sweating, rabbit in headlights, he was in a right state. It was evident this dream had freaked him out, and I thought it was probably a reflection of his feelings about 'us'. I realised I was doing the right thing and that it was only fair that I said "Dave, d'you think we'd be better going back to being mates? I think your dream shows you're panicking about something..."
The look of relief!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Awwww

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Nobody thought he was good enough anyway.
But it's funny that someone you think is proper crap is actually dreaming of getting rid of YOU
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

mates brother and sister
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Hahahahahahaha!
Excellent.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
you can never go back...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Hahahahha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)
All this is making me feel miles better.
I think this makes me a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Nope. Normal.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)
"misery loves company"

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Reading this lot makes me feel like a romantic success story.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)
i feel disappointed that I have no interesting stories

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)
This being the first time I've been dumped, I guess it seems much worse in comparison
especially given how long we were together and the vague nature of the dumping.

People can be total cunts to each other. Some of these stories are really brutal.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)
No easy way though is there?
I understand what you say about the vagueness. You want to know WHAT EXACTLY the problem was?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)
The problems all seem to be stuff that I did for sound, logical reasons for the sake of the relationship, though.
That's what boggles my mind. Like staying in a job to ensure we had money to pay the bills whilst she was jumping from dead end job to dead end job. Apparently I should have been taking risks in changing jobs in a period of high unemployment and relentless job cuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:11, Reply)
that's just an excuse, though
surely. Sometimes there aren't firm reasons
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)
^this
People make shit like that up, rather than say I fell out of love with you or I don't fancy you anymore. It hurts less but leaves you wondering what happened.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Mine gave the mind boggling reason that I was "too nice."
Then a few months later complained to me about what an unreasonable twat her new bloke was. Fucking cheek.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
She's an unreasonable headcase
next question.
(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:19, Reply)
I once got dumped for peeling an onion the wrong way.
Weekend planes invlove going to a football match, sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)
Were you doing it with her cats teeth or something?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I may as well have been for the reaction I got.
Apparently I was taking off a layer too much and 'wasting onion'.

Which turned into a diatribe about how I never do anything right, how if I would only listen to her sometimes then all our problems would be solved but because I never do actually listen or pay attention to what she really wants we are doomed.

Bit of a fuss over an onion.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)
I think the onion was probably a metaphor for your relationship
or something.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
No Shit, Cumberbatch...

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
in that there were layers of meaning
and made both of you weep
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Acknowledging your Pixies lyric in your sig, here.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)
that line always makes me laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)
It made her cry

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
I made her cry.
And beg.

And drink from the bowl.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Weekend planes?
What with Quentin and his 'helicopters' it's like fucking Heathrow in here these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I'm flying to the game.
I'm not. But I could have been, if fucking Bilel Fucking Mohsni wasn't such a useless fucking cunt. I could be flying to Liverpool today.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)
he's gone quiet again
must be time for his flying lesson.

sorry, to re-fill the napkin dispensers.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I like it imagine that
in between burger flips he sticks his arms out and runs round the place going 'neeeeeeaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww'

I realise that's planes, but helicopter would involve rotating his penis and I didn't want to think about that
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
this is probably much closer to the truth
than any of us could ever imagine
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
There was a website based around something similar
I wonder if that was him.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)
You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby...

(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)
My weekend plans also involve football.
Me, my dad, granddad and brother are going to the game tomorrow. There's nothing I want to do less but my dad is well looking forward to it. On a better note I'm taking my dream girl out afterwards tomorrow evening. On a worse note I guarantee she cancels on me when I phone her later today.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)
PMA BAZ

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
What's PMA? I'm not down with the kids and their street lingo.
If she drops out I will cry. I mean that.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Purple Monkey's Anus

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Perhaps she likes confident men.

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She does. Incessant blowjobs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Nothing exciting, sadly. I'll just make something up.
I'm planning on invading Moldova with my army of killer ducks to reclaim my crown.
It'll be quacking.
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Good afternoon Mark Morrisons Prison Shoes.
Are you well?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
No, I'm fucking livid.
My boiler is leaking again.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I have had every plumbing disaster possible since I bought my current flat.
I spend about a grand a year on the fuckers. Worst one was a flood which damaged the sleeves of some of my rarer (and most treasured) records. Heartbroken, I was/am.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
It's leaking into my neighbours flat.
I fucking hate this house.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Is it your house?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Yes.

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Damn!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)
INORITE!

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I've just been informed that my boiler is fucked
and that it will cost £1500-1600 to replace it.
That is more than I paid for the whole fucking lot, including radiators, to be fitted in the first place.
Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)
That may also explain why it is fucked though.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I was about to say this.
Those Poundland heating systems are a false economy (7).
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)
That's what I thought.
A boiler alone should be a grand and radiators are about a ton apiece, and then doesn't include piping and labour costs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Quite possibly
Most of our house improvements were cheap, cash-in-hand jobs as we were poor as church mice at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Just looked on What Price and that is about right.
Make sure you get a guarantee for the fitting as well as the boiler.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Well, you may want to spend a bit more next time.
And get a plumber to do it, not a tinker.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)
He did throw in some lucky heather for free though

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
I think, in summary, what we are saying is
don't be such a tight arse.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)
I think, in summary, what we are saying is
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Oh internet, you are so cruel
I'll just go away and think about what I've done, shall I?
Through bitter, bitter tears.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Her time of the month, is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpEVovCq2VI&feature=related
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I'll get me coat...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Oh, lol

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Is this a euphemism?
should you be buying more tampax (other sanitary products are available)


Must type fast!
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)
There's some fucking good work being posted today, I reckon.
Well done all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)
who'd have thought a bunch of internet shut in losers
would have so many tales of woe about the loss of love?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:11, Reply)
THEY MADE IT ALL UP!!11!
Virgins.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)
I know! How odd!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
new years resolutions
people are being funnier.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I'm doing a 100 day detox diet on my funny bone

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
it's already anorexic

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
zing!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Is she paying you per zing or something?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:24, Reply)
A titgaz is a titgaz

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Oh Sportscow, what happened to northern solidarity?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Is yeti your smelly mate? How did he find someone with no sense of smell?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)
'AWFUL'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
I had expected better of you. I clearly mismanaged my own expectations.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)
You really did.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Awful

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Fucksocks.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Fucksticks.
SWEAR THREAD!
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MINGETITS!

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Titwank

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
BOLLOCKCUNT

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FANNYWIPES!

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Pissflaps

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)
GINGERAPEFUCKER

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ARSEHOLETITBANG!

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:22, Reply)
And on that note, I'm off to buy some comics.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)
VADGEMINER

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SHITCUNT

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Yes he is.
Smelly, fat and ginger. But has loads of drugs, which enables him to have sex occasionally before being dumped when he runs out.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
You should really start buying your own, you know

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)
Eff that, nigga.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Yeti rape it is then
Actually, scrub that. My old nickname was yeti
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I don't get how grown ups can be smelly.
I mean soap is not expensive.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)
That said I didn't shower this morning.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)
My ex dumped me two weeks before we were due to go to Borneo for a month
The bint had always wanted to go to spend time at an orangutan rescue (she's a veterinary nurse). I had spent £4k on the trip - business class flights, top hotel before we went in to the rain forest etc.

A week after she dumped me my grandmother died, so I was able to use that to get the money back on the travel insurance. Thanks grandma.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Aw, grandmothers never stop giving, do they.
On another note, I saw you wrote an actual, decent, amusing QOTW answer. A rarity. Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Um...'a rarity' among this week's dross, I mean.
Not a rarity compared to what you usually do.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
while I love books
I can't see how pages and pages of people saying "i like ***** because it's great and hate ***** because it's toss" will make for interesting reading.

And all the comments will be "ner ner ner youare stupid for liking that"
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Yup.
And yet I read it anyway, like always.

I'm a massi...maschok..machi...

I'm a glutton for punishment.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Exactly.
You may as well ask 'What football team do you support' for all the interesting answers it's likely to bring.

I take my QOTWing far too seriously don't I?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Ta. It is certainly a rarity for me to post something amusing.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Ain't that the fucking truth.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Was she attacked by orangutans?
That'd round the story off.
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I wish my ex had been.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Ape revenge.

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I'd loverage that to happen

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:19, Reply)
That would be "ironic".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Mark Morrisette

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Mark Morrisettes Spoon Weddingday

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FUCK YOU.
I loathe that song.
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(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Mark Morrison - Like a free ride, when you've already paid.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:22, Reply)
He is the man of my dreams

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)
*winks and finger guns*

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Right back atcha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
So your mate is single?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:27, Reply)
My friend Charlie, who you'll meet a Donnington, isn't single
but I'm sure he'd still happily chuck it up you if you were game?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:29, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)
He's slept with a lot of women, so he's probably quite good.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Looks like another visit to the cake stall for CQ.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:35, Reply)
What's your definition of a lot?
For some people 10 is a lot, for others over 30 is a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I think it's once you forget how many, then it's a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I believe it is around 100.
And while that may sound ridiculous, having seen the guy in action (not "action", just on the pull) I can quite believe it. I don't understand it, I find him quite irritating after a couple of days, but he has the gift of the gab.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Do siamese twins count as one or two?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Good question.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I'm trying to work out my count.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
I figured mine out (that I could remember) a while ago

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:47, Reply)
I'm up to about 12.
Is that good or bad?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Dunno
It's more than none so good!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Depends how many cunts they have

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
one cunt two mouths

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
1

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
If they were joined by the head it must be really awkward when one of them fancies a wank and the other one doesn't.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:43, Reply)
At least they couldn't see

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
I wonder if you had a big and flexible enough willy, you could make it go in one mouth and out the other.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Blowstitch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Same with schizophrenia - how many does that count as?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
That's like the sex equivilent of a danger wank, you should get bonus points.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
good spot
you are a credit to all single women
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)
She can smell weakness

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)

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