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How do I get one of my colleagues to make us a round of teas and coffees? Bearing in mind that I've tried "please", "it's your turn cos I made them earlier" and "that's a smashing blouse you're wearing"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:55, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Kidnapping usually works.

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Ask them what Chinas biggest export in the 18th Century was.
And when they say "tea" say yes please white no sugar.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)

This works with any question in which the answer is Tea T etc etc.
eg. What's the 20th letter of the alphabet
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)

What's that thing that you put a golf ball on before you hit it called?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)

lol

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Whilst this is really quite amusing
I don't drink tea. Come up with some variations for coffee please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

What's the second most legally traded commodity in the world?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Is it cocaine?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Ryvita.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

you know that coffee where the monkeys eat the beans and poop it out undigested and people make cofffee out of it?
Yeah?
Well stick the fucken kettle on you lazy spastic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)

I like this a lot

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

What is the last letter in the phrase "Make the tea you lazy cunt"?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

what do they use to prop up a ball when playing golf?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Just don't make the bitch any more cups of tea until she pulls her weight.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)

This policy is effectively in practice
But it's not getting me a fucking coffee
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Tea, motherfucker. Can you make it?
Then shoot them through the face.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Don't have a gun. On me.
Will the old single-barrelled pump action yoghurt rifle do?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)

You're talking about a penis, aren't you?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Usually, yes.
In this instance, also yes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Darth's penis.
It's like a penis, only smaller.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

That's not what you said earlier
It's weird to be able to say this truthfully
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I know.
Hence the overcompensation on my part.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Just make your own
Sod the rest of them. They probably don't make it how you like it anyway.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

In fact, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

More news, as it happens.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I have my coffee like my men;
Black and unsweetened. It's hot water and coffee granules. No-one can fuck that up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Then stop whinging and go and make it yourself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

I am LAZY AND HUNGOVER

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Instant coffee is evil and it must be stopped.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Agreed.
Filth.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Short, brown and bitter?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

you already fucked it up by using granuals

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

That's not what it says to do in the manule
/laughing at dyslexics
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Fuck off Hippy.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:34, Reply)

That's rich. Coming on here, with your feminism.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:36, Reply)

He loves me really
He just projects his own hippy ideals onto me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:39, Reply)

GET THE FUCKING TEAS IN BITCH!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

GET THE FUCKING TEAS IN, YOU FAT BITCH!
More menace!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

She's not fat
Great rack though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Punch her in the tits

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Best suggestion thus far

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:28, Reply)