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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Computer geek advice pleaseApologies, this isn't worth its own thread so I'll append summat about breasts in a minute. I need to chop a song down to 90 seconds and am wondering if anyone can recommend some free downloadable software with which to do so.
Alt: breasts. How big is too big?
AltAlt for everyone who realised the Alt is a trick question: favourite animal and why
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:19, 287 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Audacity.For
edit: I once went out with a woman whose nickname was Isambard on account of her bra being a work of extraordinary civil engineering. She looked like a dwarf trying to juggle a pair of space hoppers.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
I saw the most adorable family of Audacities in a zoo in Ho Chi Minh City(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:26, Reply)
lmgtfy.com/?q=how+do+i+cut+a+song+down+in+length
Alt: Don't be so stupid. What if poor broadsword heard you saying that?
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)
I clicked I like this by accident.I don't really like this.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
Ok, it's a bit tricky but you will get better with practiseYou need to locate and mark on the tape precisely where you want the edit to be. Then, with a razor blade, slice diagonally across the tape. You should then be able to splice the tape back together and your edit should be reasonably inaudible.
Hope this helps.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
This kind of sexist attitude is why you're not well likedLuckily for you my cousin's girlfriend has an NVQ in gender relations so I feel qualified to remonstrate with you
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Shit.That's the twenty sixth time today that I have been humiliatingly wrong on the internet.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
You'd better stop being humiliatingly wrongOr you'll need a non-alphabetic filing system, which just sounds like effort.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)
I'm moving onto the hebrew alphabet.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
This kind of racist etc Chap who runs my local, GCSE, race relations blah blah blah
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)
The tape or the breasts?Yes to either
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
Cheers Now I just need to get my MP3 of Ain't That A Kick In The Head onto a tape
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)
No problemwww.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=345717
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
Oh hang onThat's the wrong way round.
Soz.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
I worry that these 2 things could ever be mistaken for each other. (, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)
my old boss used to say more than a mouthful is just a waste(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
So he liked to pop a whole boob in his mouth like teabagging?(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
I can't 100% guarantee that this is truebut it's what I heard from a pretty reliable source. Apparently (apparently) people who prefer "less than a handful" are doomed to die alone and be eaten by their cats.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
These are the kind of sick fucks that like women with shaved pubes.(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I don't knowalt: i'm going toward orangutan....they're fat and orange, like me
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
The orangutans in singapore zoo specialise in pissing on the heads of american tourists.I think it's some instinctive attraction to velour leisure wear.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I hate velour, as well as velvet.And being American.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
You should definitely visit Singapore zoo.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Do you have iTunes?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
There is a bit in here that tells you how to cut down an audio file in iTunesblog.90nz0.com/2010/08/02/how-to-bung-your-own-ringtones-on-the-iphone-with-just-itune-works-in-itunes-9-2010/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
You have scissors as a pet?You povvo.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I now have In My Life, by the Beatles stuck in my headThanks for that
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
As people have said, AudacityAlt: When they get to the size that she complains about them/back pain constantly and/or is sick of people paying more attention to them than her.
AltAlt: Humans, because we rock.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Yeah, that migh get annoyingafter a year or two.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
I don't understand women's problemI'd be perfectly happy to be objectified in that way.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
*stares at tangled's crotch*Just move your leg over a little will you.
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girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
Y'see I enjoyed that.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1505804
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
So you're telling me you never get laid because women keep punching you in the crotch?(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
No, I was trying to imply that you never get laid because you keep punching men in the crotch.I think we've already covered some of the reasons why I never get laid.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Good planTotally worth getting punched in the crotch for.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I can imagine it getting annoying when you couldn't switch it offBut purely practically, it's a reality, so while I might personally enjoy the mammoth portions, I'd prefer something smaller attached to someone happy.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
For me, I'd prefer something bigger attached to someone desperate.(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Your AltAlt reply does not seem to correspond with your usual misanthropy.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
it's a love/hate relationship.I hate most people but find it hard to live without then.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Generally truebut doesn't help with the crippling loneliness *sniff*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
Alt: How do you tell the differencebetween complaining about something specific and the endless, general bitching?
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)
You don't - you are too busy staring at their tits(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
By listening to the words being used?/feminist
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
*pukes*Listening to words that you taught it, so it can comminicate with it's Master?
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I think you're confusing women with dogs.WHich is fine, but I know which I'd rather funk /notJeff
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
If you says so.I pity your taste in women if you believe this. /some of my best friends are women.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
Don't get me wrong, I love bitches as much as the next superior man. I just don't want to listen to them going on about make up and babies.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)
*stares blankly*No, you've lost me there.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
He knows exactly why he never gets laidThere's a reminder on the third finger of his left hand
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Did he jump the queue then?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
I just sent an email to someone I work with saying I'm going to get an early night and go to bed with some tissues...
It was in reference to me having a cold but I don't know if I should email them again making that very clear.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
Oh definitely.Email them to tell them you will definitely not be wanking tonight.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
^ ThisYou can only make matters worse now.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
Yes I think I should just pretend I didn't get the reference because I'm innocent.And it's only in their SICK MIND that they thought of that.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
That's the way to go"to the pure, all things are pure"
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
That email has already been round most of the NHS and has just been uploaded to Failblog with the caption "masturbatory subtlety fail"Sorry to be the bearer
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)
nah, boldly walk up to their desk and take that picture of their sonand walk off saying 'i'll be needing this'
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
New question How do I get one of my colleagues to make us a round of teas and coffees? Bearing in mind that I've tried "please", "it's your turn cos I made them earlier" and "that's a smashing blouse you're wearing"
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Ask them what Chinas biggest export in the 18th Century was.And when they say "tea" say yes please white no sugar.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)
This works with any question in which the answer is Tea T etc etc.eg. What's the 20th letter of the alphabet
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)
What's that thing that you put a golf ball on before you hit it called?(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)
Whilst this is really quite amusingI don't drink tea. Come up with some variations for coffee please
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)
you know that coffee where the monkeys eat the beans and poop it out undigested and people make cofffee out of it?Yeah?
Well stick the fucken kettle on you lazy spastic
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)
What is the last letter in the phrase "Make the tea you lazy cunt"? (, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Just don't make the bitch any more cups of tea until she pulls her weight.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
This policy is effectively in practiceBut it's not getting me a fucking coffee
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)
Tea, motherfucker. Can you make it?Then shoot them through the face.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Don't have a gun. On me. Will the old single-barrelled pump action yoghurt rifle do?
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)
You're talking about a penis, aren't you?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
That's not what you said earlierIt's weird to be able to say this truthfully
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Just make your ownSod the rest of them. They probably don't make it how you like it anyway.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
In fact, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea now.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
More news, as it happens.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
I have my coffee like my men;Black and unsweetened. It's hot water and coffee granules. No-one can fuck that up
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Then stop whinging and go and make it yourself.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
Instant coffee is evil and it must be stopped.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
you already fucked it up by using granuals(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
That's not what it says to do in the manule/laughing at dyslexics
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
He loves me reallyHe just projects his own hippy ideals onto me.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
GET THE FUCKING TEAS IN BITCH!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Punch her in the tits(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
Altalt: Rabbit.Because they keep the insides of two of my jackets toasty and warm.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)
Yeah boy. I didn't know and it wasn't the reason I bought it, mind. Nice surprise though.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)
I'm gutted nobody responded to this(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
You have a rabbit butler who puts a hot water bottle inside your jacket?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Well there's no need for that!Just because I've got a rubbish table
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Oh he's fine now.Screaming like a fucking banshee for his dinner every night again.
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girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
Probably just missed you.Glad he's OK.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
M&S are asking for Name suggestions for their Penguin doorstop on facebook.Any suggestions?
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Yeah.If you're reading the M&S facebook page then there's no point continuing your earthly existence. Eat broken glass.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
I have a friend who is one of the people that writes its updatesSo I like to say sarcastic comments in the replies "for the lolz"
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I just checked they got nearly 400 responses in 10 minutesGod people are pathetic.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)
I don't think they've published the terms and conditions.I think I should write a strongly worded letter.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)
my breath honks today, quentin mcflaps wouldn't even kiss me at lunch:O~
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)
dawww, didn't you see earlier i said no more lying ont he internet after seeing talhotblond last night?lying is bad
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)
the docu was trying to say it was all this womans fault this guy shot this boycos she'd been lying on the internet
i think she was messed up, pretending she was her daughter and sending guys upskirt photos of her, but she didn't put a gun inn this guys hand
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:43, Reply)
For spastics like yourself, I'd recommend Wavepad.Alt: It's all relative, a lass with 32HH will look rather different than a 38HH. No breasts are 'too big', but some look better than others.
Alt Alt: Tigers, they're fucking awesome.
Afternoon all!
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Hospital, amd I saw a rather attractive nurse.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
Could've been dangerous(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
Afternoon AAHope your op went ok.
Did you leave a tip?
/here all week
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Your idea of either beetroot or AA's forsekin is a bit odd.Having seen both I can assure you they are nothing alike.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
it was the blood and surgical spirit what made me think it would make a lovely coleslaw(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Shame.Whatever you do don't think about Christina Hendricks taking a shower, that would be painful I imagine.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
You do realise, by the way that your op makes you intelligible to read the Daily Mail?(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
Can you still get Penguins?I like Wackos, they're Aldi's pretend Rocky Robins.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
you shop at Aldi? oh dear i don't think we can be friends anymore sozyou can still p-p-p-pick up penguins
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Hey fuck off, Aldi has some boss stuff.I go lots of shops. I'm saving up as well.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
my girlfriend dragged me to lidl once, the biscuits were 10p more expensive than in WaitroseI should have been a barrister
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Were they Bahlsen, the ones that say Butter Keks on the back?I don't like Lidl but they too have decent continental stuff.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
Oh right.They had special offer on Butter Keks too.
they're FIT.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:48,
Reply)
I fuck your mum regularly, you idiot(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:09,
Reply)
hahahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahha
*breathes*
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
now this is a funny "should've".
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
the sad truth of this piece of pathosshould make it less funny.
but it doesn't.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
it would be for himand now in the case of burger -v- fries...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:47,
Reply)
Fuckit, wormulus is a lawyer of some kindGranted an unemployed one, but still...
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:48,
Reply)
I heard he got laid once too...There is hope for us all.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:51,
Reply)
I'm more interested in when you're going than where you came from.(
girlinthehole, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
we've all been getting on so well lately why the sudden change of heart?(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:54, Reply)
after about 3 months of this fake-spakka shitsadly i think he's never going to get bored of it
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
if everyone ignored him he'd evntually get bored and fuck offwon't happen though because some of us like him. Your feeding him is totally counter productive though, it just ensure he'll stick around and post more. So, thanks for that.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
when did we stop being mates CQ? you was the first person here that liked me :((, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:04, Reply)
nah for serioushim and some other perv were saying they were my gay dads or summat
shit and weird it was
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Don't talk about your mother like that, lad.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:08,
Reply)
That was way after i told someone I loved you but not like that(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:11,
Reply)
oh really soz sorryhow about a screeooowm for old times sake?
here you go 'screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........'
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Why do you think we did?I said some of us like you, that includes me. doesn't stop you beiong an annoying little shit form time to time, but you know that it's the whole point of you.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:07,
Reply)
*puzzled expression*I think it might be you who's taking me to seriously.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:14,
Reply)
I differ in opinion to the opinion to which it is in that you hold(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:16, Reply)
You should say things about him that are true, lord knows there are enough.Just pretending he works in McDonalds when he evidently doesn't and saying "Want fries with that?" a lot is more boring than him when he gets repetitive. Couldn't you at least step it up? Or even something more imaginitive?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
its alright, i like the attentionespecially when she keeps sending me flirty gazzes even after i said i wasn't intrested twice
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:51, Reply)
i know but careful observation is much funnier.I mean, if I suddenly decide to think you're a fireman it won't be funny will it.
"Shut up fireman. Yeah, put it out, fireman." It's just made up.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
Spelling again?www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VKouBHarIo
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
i can't listen to it cos the radios oncould you hum for me and i'll go 'oh yeah!'
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:56, Reply)
"I wish I was a fisherman, tumblin on the seas"*fiddles*
*not kids*
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
hang on. sometimes i call him "lifeless" for a change.it's just a metaphor. he doesn't actually have to work as a burger-flipper to come across as (a retarded) one.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:56,
Reply)
sorry dudei'll try and dredge up some more venom from somewhere.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
Thanks.Oh, I don't like him. I'm not naming HIM after my mum.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
You mum was a penguin?This would explain so much...
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:49,
Reply)
This both ghey and sad.As such I shall not be listening.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
You'll need scissors and sticky tapeAnd a biro to wind the tape back in after you're done.
Alt: only if they regularly cause a balance problem.
Altalt: Crows, obviously. What a stupid question.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Audacity is easy and free, however I have Goldwave, though it isn't free.Alt- I think anything above 34HH could be OTT, however It wouldn't put me off
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 17:11, Reply)
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