Cooking, washing up, theatre, willing the sun over the yardarm.
It's an exciting life alright.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:18, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

sun is now over yardarm
what you seeing at the theatre? something classy?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)

Sadly not
Some shit for kids.
Fortunately there is a bar.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

hahaha
I was just looking at signing up for a dating website and it needed me to enter a dating 'profile' I might nick 'Cooking, washing up, theatre, willing the sun over the yardarm' as my intro.

I'll be beating them off with a shitty stick.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)

It worked for me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)

I might just put 'Washing up' as the answer to everything.
That way, I can 'copy/paste' everything, it'll be quicker that way.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Good plan
Chicks dig clean plates. Probably.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)

You could just answer
'being bent and mean' to every question.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Another good plan
Chicks dig benders* and being mean is reputed to encourage keenness.


*well, 'swipe does.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Do you think that me adding
'Fat chicks need not apply' is going to be a good closing statement?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)

It's alright.
I wasn't going to apply.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)

You're marrried.
And anyway, Gonz has 'first dibs' on you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)

He won't wait forever.
But it's nice to be wanted.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)

You think Mr B3th will be one of those who lingers on and on?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)

Not to hear him talk.
You'd think he wasn't going to see another xmas.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)

This is rubbish b3th.
Under 'appearance' I get to choose from 'average' 'attractive' or 'very attractive'

Why isn't there an option for 'face like a bag of spanners'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Do you get to quantify it?
"My mum says I'm very attractive..."
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)

So far, the only possitive I've been able to put in
That doesn't make me sound like a west country Amy Winehouse is 'dead good at beating mongs at Crazy Golf'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)

Speaking of mongs
I've discovered football on teh telly. This has made me do a happy.

Even if it is only a shit Welsh team against a shit London team. At least I don't have to look at Adrian Chiles' smug fat face.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I'm watching the North East derby.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:58, Reply)

I don't suppose that's on terrestrial?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:05, Reply)

ESPN

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

It's precisely this sort of shit that keeps me and Mrs Upinblue together
/an old romantic at heart
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:57, Reply)

All I want to put in is
'Fit bird required. Apply to this address. Even if you're not that fit, feel free to apply. Especially if you've got nice tits'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Pure poetry.
I don't know any birds who wouldn't jump at an offer like that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Oddly.
My profile has been rejected.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Your face has been rejected.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I hadn't uploaded a photo by that point.
Annoyingly, it's a generic 'your profile has been rejected' message, rather than anything specific.

But start as you mean to go on, rejected by the website before I get rejected by the other users.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Are you talking about a serious profile?
I mean, you didn't add in any of the stuff about fat chicks?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

What's wrong with saying 'no fat chicks?'
The site allows you to choose your preferred skin colour of any potential partner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:29, Reply)

http://www.sports-dating.co.uk/
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Do you think that site will include a crazy golf section?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)

"no darkies"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

It'll be an automatic language filter
Substitute "breasts" for "tits" and you'll be away.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Cheers Tangled.
I might swap the word clunge for clopper as well.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Best to be on the safe side

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

It would certainly save a lot of upset later on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Put it in capitals so there is no ambiguity:
NO FAT CHIX!!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Thanks Tangled.
I need help at this difficult time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Here to help

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)

Hobbies and interests
'Being bent and mean'

Favourite holiday destination

'Somewhere that'll allow me to be bent and mean'

This has legs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Never mind the yardarm.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

The truth is I couldn't give a shit about the yardarm
But I do need to ensure that I will not be required to drive again before I can get stuck in.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Fair enough.
Are you in charge of many small people?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)

Two of my own
And at the theatre I will have a friend of the eldest too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Oh joy.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 4 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)