Good morning.
Misery =

More fucking decorating
Missing my wife and daughter
Tired beyond comprehension
Delivery of my iPad has been delayed

In other news; why is there so much fuss about a footballer keeling over? When my father in law had a heart attack the press weren't interested. Why is this cunt being viewed any differently just because he can kick an inflated pigs bladder on a piece of grass?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:34, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Maybe your father-in-law is a cunt and no-one likes him
Maybe he was a bounder who slept with the daughter of every single editor on Fleet Street and they chose this moment to take their revenge.

Maybe I've run out of creativity in my parlous pre-caffeine state.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:41, Reply)

I think it was a combination of the fact that he's 23, and that it happened on live TV

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:42, Reply)

The latter is a good point I think
It would really be a horrible state of affairs if a man's heart could stop in the presence of 40,000 onlookers and with a TV audience in seven figures, and no-one gave a shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:46, Reply)

No it wouldn't. That would be hilarious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:46, Reply)

It would be hilarious if we could choose the man in question
Corden's heart can't have long anyway with all the fat strangling it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:48, Reply)

That's the hope, anyway

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Fingers crossed for Bono too. Whilst the shitty little bog trotter prick is on stage preaching with any luck.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:50, Reply)

"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies"
(from the crowd) "Well stop fucking clapping then"

Whoever said this is a dichotomy; both a comedy genius and a fucking idiot, cos he must have shelled out a decent wedge to be at the concert in the first place.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Must be an urban myth.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:55, Reply)

I don't see why
U2 fans are allowed to be annoyed by Bono too. THEY'RE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND ME, BATTERED
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I am nothing like a U2 fan.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I like some early U2.
There, I've said it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:06, Reply)

You are dead to me, Badger.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I'd still shoot through members of my own family to hit Bono
does that help?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Sorry, did someone say something?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:11, Reply)

nope.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:11, Reply)

I think it was a joke in someone's standup routine rather than an actual occurrence.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I won't lie to you, Monty, that's disappointing
I was very keen on the idea that even an audience of paying numpties feel sufficiently irked by Bono to heckle him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:58, Reply)

"Get that body off the pitch, it's important that we find out which group of eleven millionaires can vaguely attempt to prove their worth"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:55, Reply)

Because this country's priorities have gone to the fucking dogs
and its citizens are retarded. This is related in no small measure to the story linked to above. A further example of this is another story I read, in which a very rare copy of a 1652 govt proclamation banning Christmas celebrations is coming up for sale. This fascinating piece of history is likely to fetch a mere £2000. Or, twenty seconds' pay for the heart attack sports cunt to which you refer. My values system is so very, very different from that of everyone else, it seems.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 8:43, Reply)

you live in a country where several million people had grief hysteria
because some dippy posh slag hit an underpass in Paris. How can you be even slightly surprised?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:01, Reply)

This is a salient point.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:15, Reply)

hmmm briny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

To be fair, she did hit it with her head at 80mph (or whatever it was).
I wonder what the last thing to go through her head was, "I love my son and family", "Oh good, we're being chased by french paparazi" or the dashboard.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

because alot of people tae football very seriously, footballers get paid obsene amounts of money and become famous int heir own right for it
did your dad do any of that?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:31, Reply)

I think it could be because he was a young man with a great career and his whole life ahead of him, who died while doing something that is watched and enjoyed by millions of people around the world.
And that it reminds people that it could happen to anyone at any point in time. It also made the papers 'cus it happened during a very public situation.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:52, Reply)

he's not dead, Gonz.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Oh, ok, I haven't read anything about it.
I was talking to my doctor friend about it and it really shook her up, she's seen dozens of people die but this one who shes never meet, really hit her hard.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I think most of what I said still counts though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

indeed

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Thinking about it, imagine if everyone who died was equal in importance, from Princes Diana to random old people to starving africans.
I think I read somewhere that 150k people die a day, donno where I got that figure from, but imagine how big the papers would have to be.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)