a helicopter pilot?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:29, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

nope. RAF fast jet.
I lost interest after I failed to get a scholarship to University. Also, I don't fit into Tornado ejector seats.

*awaits LOLFAT gags*

But I'm always up for a gig as Quint's helicopter chauffeur, obviously
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:34, Reply)

i don't think you need to worry about not being able to fit into an invisible chopper

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:37, Reply)

cool man, i'll bear you in mind next time i'm on the whirlybird

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Not another one.
This place is FULL OF 'EM.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:34, Reply)

just cos you could never even afford one of those helicopter experience days
nad nobody would ever love you enough to buy it for you :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Whether or not I could afford fifty 'helicopter experience days'
I wouldn't attend a single one. They sound like the sort of pathetic 'middle aged man' birthday present some cunt would buy for a fucking dullard who likes golf.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

nah, flying a chopper would be well cool
much less midlife crisis-y than getting a bird 13 years younger, doing drugs and failing at being a dad
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

'Well cool' if you are a terminally dull peasant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:41, Reply)

i disagree right there, see helicopters are the preserve of the rich
and they're like more fun than a motorbike or a car,a nd get this right, they FLY
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Why would transport of any kind be 'fun'?
Sounds like 'dullard' talk to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:47, Reply)

because
A) it FLIES
B) it can go weally FAST
C) walking everywhere takes pissing ages, you bankrupt, kiddy fucking dipshit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:49, Reply)

I suppose if you are of limited cranial capacity
then that sort of thing might impress you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:53, Reply)

yeah, what i should really be doing is taking 'large quantities of ecuadorian monkey powder'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Helicopters are loud, uncomfortable and after 30 seconds dull as fuck. Bit like you kwuntin.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:41, Reply)

how do you know i'm uncomfortable?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)

You're uncomfortable with your own personality
so you are compelled to repeatedly fabricate new ones. That's how we know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:46, Reply)

nope, you silly sod
i been honest for a long time, its jsut that i lead a normal life instead of making up lies about drugs and beheadings
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

I don't know, I made a judgement from my opinion of your many personalities. I know you're a bellend though.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

aw man, too mean :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:49, Reply)

They stink of fuel as well. Stupid form of transport.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

I think you mean 'well cool'*

*this is 'pikey' for 'very exciting'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:50, Reply)

you should totes have some drugs with that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:50, Reply)

Another stinging retort.
I'm on the ropes, here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:55, Reply)

i'm not surprised, your whole life is such a catalogue of complete failure
that this is like shooting fish in a barrel

a barrel shaped like your daddy damaged girlfriend, that is
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Wind your ne..oh, sorry. No offence.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

oh you got me good there, what with that photo of me stooping, brilliant
i could never live this down, i will have to declare myself bankrupt, get a stranger pregnant and take up hardocre DRUGS
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:58, Reply)

You simply aren't witty or funny enough to maintain any level of interest from me.
Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

except that i'm outclassing you at every turn
i'm the oscar de la hoya to your (post 'arry) bruno
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Is that a sports analogy?
Classy as ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:01, Reply)

yes, there are things outside the world of drugs, music and failin g at life

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Like two men hitting each other for money?
Pikey to the last.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:06, Reply)

i'm not really into boxing, monty
at the moment you're not putting up much of a fight, mostly cos you don't have much going for you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I would like to see this photo please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

I've never seen it either.
It's just one more thing that gets him FRIGHTFULLY UPSET ON THE INTERNET.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:01, Reply)

kind of like when your girlfriend has daddy flashbacks mid coitus

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:01, Reply)

search broke, wait a mo
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/me.jpg
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Hahahahahaha
You really do look like an oleaginous waiter. I thought it was a joke.

Dear God I actually feel sorry for you now. I'm going to leave you alone from now on. And poor Dawn. How does she cope?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:17, Reply)

handsum
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:24, Reply)

404 flid

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:26, Reply)

you look like a retarded cat

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:28, Reply)

Is that the photo that prompted swipe
to start calling you "neckless"?
( Kroney, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:20, Reply)

yep, i'm stooping

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:20, Reply)

You look like a regional manager for Phones4U,
out in Reading town centre celebrating your 'divisional motivator of the month' award.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:22, Reply)

you look like a failed druggie
and responsible single parent
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:24, Reply)

You have a 'Ford Probe'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:26, Reply)

"i can afford a car"

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:26, Reply)

^ typical working class attempt at one-upmanship.
I'll bet you love it at B&Q on a Sunday, on the way back from Dawn's parents', picking up a nice set of table mats, when you look around the car park and your 'Probe' has the most recent license plate in there. I bet you give yourself a top motivational 'high five'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:30, Reply)

sorry but what is your problem with class?
why would a bankrupt drug addict care about whhat class somebody else was?

you seem awful superior for someone who has so clearly failed at everything
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:33, Reply)

You seem to become rather upset
when your lack of it is pointed out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Updated version

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:38, Reply)

'I laaav you.
I want to mahrry you. Take me hom with you after your holeeeday, yes? We wheel be mahreeed, yes?'

Errr, can I just have the bill, please?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:42, Reply)

That's rather unfair on the regional managers of Phones4U

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:27, Reply)

Is "ropes" street talk for Heroin?
oh monty, *shakes head*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:56, Reply)

No, that's 'whizzle sticks'.
Do keep up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

i heard in later life Dennis the Menace got completely addicted to those

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:58, Reply)

What's ropes? get me a ten bag.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

too slow fuckstick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

I thought 'too slow fuckstick' was *your* nickname.
I'm so confused!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:58, Reply)

probably because you are druggled

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

i fucken love this

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Why?
He's pointing out that you are a semiliterate imbecile.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:02, Reply)

no, he's pointing out taht you are a drugsfail

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:03, Reply)

If that's what you think he's doing then you are even more dense than I thought.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:04, Reply)

dense like the liquid your girlfriends dad used to chuck up her

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Your shittest attempt today.
I'm embarrassed for you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:06, Reply)

that's what she said to him

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Mine was better than yours spakkers you fucking abortion! Just to point out our online feud is shit compared to Monty and Cuntbubblin.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:10, Reply)

i think your all lully

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 17:16, Reply)