I can't think of anything more likely to send me on a kill spree than lolwacky announcements on trains.

You know what would be far, far better? If they announced what station you were pulling into and how late the train was, just once, at each station. And then shut the fuck up. And stop thanking me for 'choosing' them. As if I had any fuckingn options.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Thank you for choosing to post on b3ta
Whilst posting with us today, you might like to know that we have a variety of fatties, nerds and bent spastics available for you to poke fun at in our offtopic carriage.
I'd like to remind all posters leaving us at KFC to remember to delete their accounts before departing this life.
Thank you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:01, Reply)

The Tyne and Wear Metros now seem to have a really annoying BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
just as you arrive at each station.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:02, Reply)

That's the driver losing the will to live.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)

Most likely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I was pleased to learn that the "Mind the gap" lady on the underground
Is Celia Humphris of obscure psych-folk band Trees.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)

TGB should get a Mind The Gape t-shirt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Where is she these days anyway?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'm not sure
She should post more often
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:28, Reply)

She fell inside herself and it's created a whole new dimension that she can't get back from.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)

I believe this is the plot to the new season of Red Dwarf
Smeg!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)

You're easily pleased, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I have quite a dull life.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Going from Aberdeen to some place down south.
The woman from the buffet cart decided it was important to give us a running commentary of everything she sold after every fucking stop.

After a while there were groans, chuckles and mumbled "for fucks sake's".
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)