A couple of years ago, it was 3 days before payday, and I was absolutely skint, painfully so.
I was trying to work out what I could make from the pitiful ingredients left in the house, which I think amounted to pasta, gravy granules and yorkshire puddings, when I noticed a £10 note on the floor, only a few feet in front of me. I was over the fucking moon with that one! Headed to Aldi, picked up several ingredients, and made myself a massive fucking lasagne, lasted me until after payday. Happy days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:04, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Down to my last £5 as a poor teenager, I noticed the guy at the cashpoint next to me walk off
leaving £60 sticking out. I stupidly handed it straight in to the bank. FUCKING TIT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Haha, you fucking bellend

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Indeed
I did the ONO moment about 5 seconds after walking out of the bank
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)

As someone who has beena victim of cash point crime
I would think you would know better
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)

There's stupidity in trusting someone, and stupidity in withdrawing money, then walking away
Granted, I'll hold my hands up and admit I've done the latter once, but I realised within seconds, and legged it back, and was very fortunate.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

I've done it
But then again, I walked out of ashop without whatever I was buying
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Haha, that's quite impressive!
I recently paid for my shopping, nipped back to the till to help a friend, and without thinking just left my shopping lying there, unattended. Oops
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:20, Reply)

My wife despairs, she is super organised and I am all over the place generally
She thinks I might have early onset alzhiemers pratchettlolz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

I go through stages of both, from remembering absolutely everything I need to do, completely
To staring at the mince I'd taken out to defrost about half an hour earlier, wondering why it was out, and putting it back in the freezer.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Wait, why did I come upsatirs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

To hang yourself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Well I am ashamed of the things your mum and I did...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I have heard that she can be pretty brutal with that strap-on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)

tell me about it, even the horse didn't touch the sides after she was finished with your dad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:45, Reply)

It's their sexy goat's tails I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Very good

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

I think it's the furry bollockls on their chins

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Walking into a room with a confused look on my face before walking straight out again is a special of mine
My Dad does the exact same thing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

that's an impressive distance

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Mrs Cow left her hand luggage on the security x-ray belt last week and walked off
I noticed she didn't have it about ten mins later and watched the colour drain from her face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Oops

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

I pointed and laughed
This did not go down well......AT ALL
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

This is GOLD, you should pitch the Beeb the idea of a sitcom based on your holiday antics
100% guaranteed to get commissioned
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Now now
Play nice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

It's definitely make it to pilot stage, no word of a lie

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:44, Reply)

*rings Paxman*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:59, Reply)

i did that too once
but i've never given my PIN number to anyone
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Which PIN number?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

3415, taht one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)

I thought so

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER NUMBER?!?!?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:04, Reply)

It’s like people who say Tannoy when they mean public-address system.
Tannoy is a brand name.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I'm going to shock you now.
I like wine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:08, Reply)

this is my favourite post that you have ever done. A Partridge quote, I'm equally shocked and happy.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

you public address system the hell out of me

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:10, Reply)

I think that should be
"Dit-dit diddle-iddle dee" not "didly-dee"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

how many fucken characters you reckon i've got in my sig motherfucker?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

You have to prioritise
Which part of this sig is the most important? Eh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:15, Reply)

\o/

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

your girlfriend must find a lot of £10 notes on the floor

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Why?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

she fat man

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

+ 's a

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

squibby-du-bu-bu-bum-bum-bu-bum-bum

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:54, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:09, Reply)