Well The Ingurrland is no good at football, and the Scottish Bloke is no good at tennis.
If England - the real England - win at Old Trafford on Tuesday we are officially best in the world at Cricket in long and short forms and THAT'S A FACT.

Gimmee more dubious, unsubstantiated facts.

eg - Did you know that Bernard Breslaw was assassinated by the CIA?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 19:42, 43 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

All sport was invented
to help latent homosexuals to disguise their true feelings.
It's a socially acceptable way for men to spend the day staring at other men wearing shorts.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 19:58, Reply)

That's- sort of - the spirit
Did you know that Arthur Askey invented the microscope?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:03, Reply)

Did you know...
that Ted Rogers introduced the curry to Britain, as an alternative to beetle drives, which no one really liked that much.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:13, Reply)

I knew that
Did you know that George Osborne is the world's leading collector of Panama Hats - 754 at last count
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:16, Reply)

polar bears are invisible to infra red cameras
and robocop was based on a true story
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:17, Reply)

That ostrich that Bernie Clifton rode
Was a real ostrich with a brain transplant - the world's first.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:20, Reply)

Ostriches can actually fly
They just find it undignified, preferring instead to rollerskate. A skill they are surprisingly graceful at.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

Whereas we learned Snowboarding from Penguins.
They take the dead and frozen stiff ones to the top of icebergs and slide downhill on them.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:38, Reply)

speaking of penguins
most are, in fact, 6ft tall, but people often don't realise because on TV footage there is little for comparison
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

There is an EU campaign
To fit tape measures to all penguins.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

but purveyors of
cute penguin merchandise are lobbying against it as they fear it will impair their sales
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:45, Reply)

They're exempt
I'm blowing my cover - I'm the European commisioner of Penguins.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:49, Reply)

so it was you that cut back on the chocolate coating?!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Money changed hands.
Look at my Bentley.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Can I have a deep fried one please? Oh, and don't forget the mushy peas.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:58, Reply)

My first ipad app !
imgb.in/kP
imgb.in/kQ
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:22, Reply)

Gonz
Did you know that the winner of the 1934 Derby was actually a pantomime horse with a trained ape called Norman on it's back?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:27, Reply)

Nope, but I did know Eva Braun was the inventor of the braun razor.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

Shaves as close as a blade or your money back.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:29, Reply)

So good my partner invaded Europe.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:33, Reply)

ignorehitler.tumblr.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:37, Reply)

Still with us today,
posting as Naked_Ape. Although his mind has long since gone, rendering him incapable of coherent speech.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:31, Reply)

In his professional life
He is perfecting a way of making planes dive underground.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:34, Reply)

It's the last mode of transportation really. We can fly, we can swim, we can go across land..... but imagine if we could go _through_ land.
I don't mean like a metro system, 'cus the tounels are pre-made. But imagine if they could be made as you travel through.

We could create a whole underground system that lets you travel from country to country... like, I wonder if it would be quicker to go from here to, say, italy, in a direct straight line, instead of the curviture of the earth. I don't know if it would go through a multon rock, but you could line the tounel with something to help that.

I don't know if this would be up or down hill.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:42, Reply)

Shush.
Chakka Demus and Pliers have been signed up to work on such a thing, but in secret.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:47, Reply)

I'm far too polite to mention deleted subthreads by respected users.
X
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:51, Reply)

there's a respected user?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:52, Reply)

Where?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

There, on the stair, right there
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:02, Reply)

I'm asking for imagination, inventiveness.
Cavy, Tangles and Gonz have it.

I'm going out for a tab - where is the sun going?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:06, Reply)

It gets passed around from country to country
but the Americans had hold of it and are keeping it for themselves
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:11, Reply)

Reggie Bosenquet's * dad invented the left-handed chinaman, a type of ball bowled in cricket which spins the opposite way than expected by the batsman. Known as a googlie to a right hander. It was known as the "bosie." (Not to be confused with the Scots word for a hug.)

*Reggie was a newsreader on ITN News years ago.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Bankers are honest.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:41, Reply)

In the event of a divorce, the woman only wants her "fair share."
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:43, Reply)

Sporting integrity means more than following rules.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:46, Reply)

Sorry - got a tad distracted there.
Where were we? Oh yes. Did you know that the bloke off Slipknot with the mask does the wiring for Morecambe Illuminations?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

slipknot are actually Sclub7 in disguise

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:53, Reply)

Never seen 'em in the same room.
Ergo - you're right.

Bedtime for me.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:58, Reply)

This thread is a fresh nadir for Off Topic.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:49, Reply)

New one please

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:55, Reply)

done.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:59, Reply)

Sonja Kristina (from Curved Air) has a brothrr who makes and supplies black puddings.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:51, Reply)

iPads are worth the fuckin' effort.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:52, Reply)