HOME SWEET HOME

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:43, 60 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

haahaa!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

E O
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

SWOOT!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

*taps nose and points *

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Something about cake?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

It's a fookin disgrace.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

You can puke yourself to fookin death on this stuff.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

it affects a part of the brain know as Shatner's Bassoon.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

*something else from the 90's*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

'Member the 90s?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Boy, do I!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Imagine if there were ZOMBIE KITTUMS and cupcakes and LAZERS!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Not sure what I'm having for lunch yet, but I'll keep you informed

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Me and Malc are going Nando's if you're interested

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Dunno, is kerrrazy kev gonna be there?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Nah fuck that we haven't told him

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Sweet, right fucking wrong 'un that one

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

i've never seen you go so long without mentioning your furtive love of breasts before

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

We both hate Kev cos he's down on breasts

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:00, Reply)

i like breasts

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

I have two viewings for my house today
WOOT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

seriously?
I mean I know I enjoyed them while they were there, but god. DYAAKY.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Did you? You fucking spastic. They were SHIT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

You failed
No cute graphic
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

The kilospoons are strong with this post

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

In fairness she was only about 12 in those days

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

you were very different then
i like to think that we have all corrupted you, in our own special way
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

ahaha I was very different yes.
Now I'm a mature adult.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

I wanted to see if this utterly shit thread would
a) get more replies and
b) actually be more amusing than Chomp's one
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Terrible bullying.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)

setting your standards low: an excellent way to avoid disappointment
how is the ex behaving?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Initially she flared up but potentially I might just avoid a row in court.
In a sensible world (I am fucking dreaming here) we'll agree an amended order and I shall simply lodge it (is that the term?) at the court.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

yes, you draft a consent order, both sign it (or your lawyers do)
and send it to the court with a cheque for £45.

done!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Oh dear
Falling at the final hurdle.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:02, Reply)

technically the parties should split the cost
so he only needs to spring for £22.50.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Well I don't imagine he'll have any problems persuading her to split it.
She seems like a reasonable sort.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I appear to have fractured several ribs
with the laughing. Thanks, tangles. THANGLES.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I am really hoping to achieve this.
I found out yesterday that from next April she won't get legal aid any more.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:03, Reply)

i read that as "laid" at first
i was thinking, that shit ain't going to help your chances of her behaving like a normal human being
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

legal laid?
is that when the court appoints a solicitor to fuck for you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

That, my friend is the score you're looking for.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Innit blud

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

In my last thread I mentioned that my batch of Woodfordes Nelsons Revenge is ready and it's fucking nice.
It's a "special bitter" which means fuck all to me but it tastes good.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)

I got a gift box of Woodforde ales last year as a present
they were excellent.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

I've got 40 pints of it at home. - what I drank last night which was probably 2-3 pints.
their homebrew kits are really good.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

What's it work out at per pint as homebrew?
I am seriously considering having a go at it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Me too man, gotta do it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

If you ignore equipment costs and you get a midlevel pack about 40p.
Your first 100 pints are going to be between £1 and £1.50 if you don't fuck up any batches or waste too much bottling.
Assume 3-5 pints will be wasted by either being filled up with dead yeast from the bottle of the fermenter or as I often do, opening them before they're ready and they taste like shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I'm getting my friend this for his birthday:
www.the-home-brew-shop.co.uk/acatalog/Home_Brew_Starter_Wherry_Woodfords_Kit.html

Then when it is ready I shall go round and help him drink it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

That's not a bad price
Get another bunch of CO2 bulbs though, unless you plan to drink the whole lot in one go.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I am very pleased that you are trying out all this shit
I need to do some of this stuff at some point.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:02, Reply)

For some reason I find the name 'Dr Freddy Patel' hilarious
and he's all over the news at the moment.

Reminds of the time I was talking to my brother about blues legend 'Blind Willie McTell', he misheard it as Patel and pronounced him to be the unluckiest man of all time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

They had a fella at the paralympics opening called Able Semen Patel

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Shut up was there.
You're a bad as that liar 'SteveFrench'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

SEMEN PATEL

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

NO YOUN ARE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I'm semen pateling as I type this

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:29, Reply)

This is my favourite thing EVER

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Morning Monty
Just been telling my colleague about the meal I went out for on Sunday, new BBQ restaurant in Leeds, absolutely superb.

That's about it, really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)