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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am in Blackpool until 11am tomorrow.
What soul destroying / fear for your life experience have you endured recently?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:33, 100 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I used to love Blackpool
Are the illuminations up, yet? I have a certain nostalgia for salty chips and battered christmas lights.

My soul destroying thing: trying to buy carpet
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:35, Reply)
It's a shithole.
And the illuminations are rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:40, Reply)
Yes the illuminations are up.
I have just seen a slapper with a tattoo of a stocking top on her thigh. Yuk.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:40, Reply)
The bash.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:37, Reply)
All bashes surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:42, Reply)
I went to Blackpool for the first time last year, or the year before.
Never again.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:38, Reply)
Have you been stabbed yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:39, Reply)
No. I may stab someone myself though.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:40, Reply)
You'll need a decent strong knife.
There's some leathery old skin.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:42, Reply)
I am sure I could win something on the pier that would be suitable to use.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:44, Reply)
^ One man pier bash.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:44, Reply)
Punch a donkey.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:43, Reply)
I had to go on a tram Jeff. A fucking tram.
I don't know if I will ever be able to recover from that.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:44, Reply)
What you need is some Sunshine Indoors!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVdPeqdvRGI
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:46, Reply)
At least the Peroni is only £3.20 a pint.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:45, Reply)
Go and have a game of bingo.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:47, Reply)
Nope. Going for a bite to eat in an Italian place that looks alright. Then back to my (extremely nice) b&b.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:53, Reply)
Why are you in Blackpool anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:53, Reply)
SRS BNZ.
Highly strategic. Top secret. M15 related. Will explain more later in the week...
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:55, Reply)
Will you then have to kill him?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:56, Reply)
Put it this was, Mark Bridger would be released to sort it on my behalf.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:57, Reply)
[all the "your mum" jokes]

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:51, Reply)
Textbook reply.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:53, Reply)
My latest soul destroying moment was this afternoon.
I won't go into it, but it means another hospital visit : (

Apart from that, it was probably being turned down for seasonal work in a shop. FFS, I can't even get work as a christmas till monkey. My life is WTN.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:54, Reply)
Your pig bite hasn't prolapsed again has it?
Fucking hell, your pissflaps must be down by your knees by now.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:56, Reply)
Yeah, but it's alright.
My boobs hide them from sight.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:56, Reply)
What delightful imagery.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:02, Reply)
It put me right off my sausage and mash.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:03, Reply)

Pork sausages, I presume.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:06, Reply)
Em
Trying to be discreet is impossible but you or Mr Beth?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:09, Reply)
My turn this time : (

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:19, Reply)
Oh Dear
Hope it's OK. Don't trust t'internet experts, whatever the problem.

By it, of course, I mean arsehole, or fanny or mouth. Nothing else matters to a man.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:26, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:41, Reply)
bash

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:08, Reply)
Was it worse than 'boat rave' or whatever it was you were going on the Sunday?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:14, Reply)

Both university boat crews using morrocan humous as lube?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:15, Reply)
I'd be scunnered on a boat rave
Once the pills kick in I like to go for a wander.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:43, Reply)

On the water?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:48, Reply)
kinda my point
naewhere to go for a wander and a blether
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:48, Reply)
How is the decorating coming along?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:49, Reply)
Christ, you are bored.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:51, Reply)
Yeah.
I'm waiting for my spin cycle to finish so I can hang some washing up. Then I might have a beer.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:52, Reply)
The spirit of rock n roll is alive.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:56, Reply)
Where did it all go wrong Tangles?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:58, Reply)
Somewhere in the early 90s, I think.
We were all too busy having a good time to notice.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:01, Reply)
nearly there with the wallpaper stripping
Plasterer is round in 2 weeks, and the plumber's booked to come and remove the radiator. £50 quid all in for the removal and the replacement.

Deal.

And I'm DJing on the 26th.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:53, Reply)
Very easy to sort radiators yourself.
Drain the system. Cut the pipes. Lift old rad of hang new one on existing brackets reconnect pipes. Refill system. Bleed all rads in the house.

Piece of piss
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:58, Reply)
I'm shit at DIY and they would probably leak if I tried it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:59, Reply)
Battered's description doesn't sound as easy as paying someone 50 quid to do it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:02, Reply)
Exactly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:05, Reply)
Tbh. You are too short to reach to the top of the radiator.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:34, Reply)
Poofter.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:33, Reply)
These are not workman's hands.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:37, Reply)
Pressure fitting. No soldering just some PTFE tapes & two adjustables.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:02, Reply)

C'mon. Yer a handsome chap, surely someone will ask you to go "out the back for a chat."
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:52, Reply)
Ha!
Ever been out and about on ecstasy?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:53, Reply)
Yeah
Kissed a taxi driver.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:01, Reply)
Blimey.
I once turned down a threesome while on ecstasy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:04, Reply)

Yeah, but the other guys were ugly.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:07, Reply)
Nah, just didn't fancy them.
They were ganting on it though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:08, Reply)
Some ethnic dialect going on here in this post.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:30, Reply)
I'm bored.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:32, Reply)

"The interior diameter of a hole, tube, or cylinder."

Ah, OK, You're busy.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:42, Reply)
I'm watching Panorama.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:44, Reply)
I understand Bob started crying in court today and was held on remand.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:52, Reply)
His case wasn't helped by the two character witnesses he called.
Those two hand puppets he teaches with have let him down.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:53, Reply)
Heh.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:55, Reply)
Pub quiz time-
What are the only two edible vegetables which are perennials?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:54, Reply)
YM & YGM.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 20:56, Reply)
WRONG!
Rhubarb and asparagus.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:00, Reply)

Your parents had strange names.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:02, Reply)
I feel am correct. As you are thick.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:02, Reply)
how am I thick?
This was a pub quiz question. It CANNOT be wrong.

Nice syntax BTW.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:04, Reply)
You shouldn't be looking at his syntax
you filthy pervert.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:45, Reply)
Channel 4.
I'm now less bored.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:05, Reply)
I'm drinking some French cider.
S'alright.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:28, Reply)
you massive poof

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:30, Reply)
You hope.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:39, Reply)
Kroney juice lover that you are.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:32, Reply)
I'm not really a cider drinker.
But my dad just brought me round six bottles he and my mum bought for me whilst visiting my uncle, who lives over there.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:35, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeoZ_Aertes
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:42, Reply)
I'm on my phone
The Wurzels?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:43, Reply)
Of course.
But not some modern remix. It's a mono 1966 recording.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:44, Reply)
First pressing, I hope.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:45, Reply)
No idea.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:46, Reply)
This works on two levels.
Vinyl collectors often prefer to own the first pressing of a record and you press apples to make cider.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:48, Reply)
I've found a video of you taking your new album 'on tour'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhtxeja3piA
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:54, Reply)
You'll have to describe it to me.
I'm not pissing about with YouTube on the phone.
Excitement is reaching fever pitch with the album - got the digital masters back today and different coloured versions of the artwork to choose from.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:57, Reply)
Just click the link.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:58, Reply)
Haha
I had the sound off, so I can only imagine he sounded better than us, but that is pretty accurate.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 22:06, Reply)
It's brilliant.*
*Your definition of brilliant may differ to that of the person who posted the link.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 22:13, Reply)
I bet you'm really a zider drinker.
I bet you drinks 'ee all of the time.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:43, Reply)
Any work going on the pier?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:45, Reply)
There's no work going anywhere.
Except Cardiff. I keep getting notifications about jobs going in Cardiff.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:51, Reply)
Have you tried Bristol yet?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:58, Reply)
By which you mean 'way was wah my mummy doesn't love me enough to know what I like to drink' MTFU.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:46, Reply)
How was the Italian food?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:47, Reply)
I'll wait for the third edit of this drunken, fat-fingered post, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:49, Reply)
Frosty Jacque?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:51, Reply)
Very good.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:54, Reply)

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