Is it too late on a Friday afternoon to start a new thread?
Fuck it, I'm gonna do it anyway.

What's the highest number of times you've had to explain something to someone before they understood basic, simple English?

Alt: why are people such epic flidmos?

Alt alt: any plans for tonight?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 15:58, 90 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Fucks sake b3th you'd better not bill us for this thread.
That would be well tight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 15:59, Reply)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1779307
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Well that's alright then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:04, Reply)

It's all kicking off here...

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:01, Reply)

but to answer your question.
A lot of times, but then I got a lot better at communicating complicated ideas.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:02, Reply)

It really wasn't even a complicated idea.
The burk in question was just being thick.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Of course it was all their faul.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Obviously.
I have teaching observation reports that say I have the utmost patience and I'm very good at explaining concepts.

So there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Fucking hundreds
The woman that works in dispatch here is a fucking idiot, the number of times I've had to explain simple concepts to her is infuriating.

Alt: Inbreeding.

Alt Alt: Off to Leeds.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:01, Reply)

i'm going to repost this because it got no attention previously
www.b3ta.com/questions/personalads/page16/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:03, Reply)

What am I supposed to be looking at here?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I do not understand this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Yeah, it went over my head too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

it was for teh ape
lots of pics of b3tans which they posted of themselves online...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Why am I looking at your fucking ugly face?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

+ with my cock in my hand?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)

because you'll need something to fantasise about once your wife's fanny is turned into the m1?
wife's mum's

mum's grandmother's
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Re: your question, I'll have to let you know.
One of my staff has failed to grasp an inconceivably straightforward instruction and I've had to give him a verbal warning now, as I has been at least 15 times I have asked him.

Alt: Low IQ, bad genes, you fucking name it.
Altalt: crying at home I expect
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Was this instruction:
"GO to my ex's house, SMASH in her back door, RIP off her head and SHIT down her neck"?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:06, Reply)

+s

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:06, Reply)

That would be WAY too complex for this boy.
If I asked him to do that, he'd come back an hour later with a pint of milk.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

You should ask him to go and get you a pint of milk

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)

He'd come back with a packet of Fruit Gums.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I like fruit gums
I went to my new local newsagents earlier, it's fucking shit compared with my old one. I shall instead have to go to the large Sainsbursy opposite my office instead.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Did you see the Nigel Slater sweets documentary?
I ended up thinking he was a creepy weirdo who's actually not very well in the head, instead of 'OK for a raving homo' which was my previous viewpoint.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Have you watched any of the new Masterchef series?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)

My doctor won't allow me to
because Greg 'Gregg' Wallace makes me too angry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)

He made me very angry recently
by wittering on about what a gold-digging bitch his ex wife was. The one who was half his age, a model, and penniless when she married the slap-headed veg-dobber.

What a twat.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I detest him and have heard some unpleasant rumours about him too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:31, Reply)

No, that's a shame, I used to like him.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Very good writer, very bad on TV.
My mate produces that show and she thinks the same.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Is she a stripper in her spare time?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:26, Reply)

My local Sainsbury's has started selling 'Jamaican pasties'. I dread to think...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Oh c'mon. If Jeff had posted this it would be on the popular page. Dreads. Jamaicans. Etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Oh I see, it was a joke
I didn't get it.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Are they little packets of the faeces of carribean immigrants?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

With jam in?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Fuck, that reminds me
the mother in law must have eaten the rest of the doughnuts yesterday. Greedy bitch.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:22, Reply)

This evening I'll be planning a weekend away.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Will it be in a travelodge?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Unlikely.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:11, Reply)

There's posh.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Nah - tent on the A4

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

The Doris is off to some posh do.
So I'm guessing I'll book something near by.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I have a policy of explaining matters only twice. Unless something important.
If the matter isn't grasped after two mentions then I move straight on to ranting about how thick the person is.

Alt: inbreeding.

ltLt: more Beer, Chinese food, sleep
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)

So, shortly after going into the pub this lunchtime and asking what Stunned wanted to drink
you were ranting about how thick he was?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:12, Reply)

It's never necessary to ask Stunned what he wants to drink.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Do you just open the meths?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)

No, he wanks off Monty.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Ahhh, THAT trampjuice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:22, Reply)

He's not changed his name to 'semen' for nothing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:23, Reply)

hi there beth, first time poster, long time listener.
i'm not quite sure what a flidmo is, is it like a flymo mower? i am going to the pub tonight, i'll probably have a few beers then talk nonsense.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:12, Reply)

alright The Doveston

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

shut up and kiss me.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:16, Reply)

But......but I hardly know you....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Ah fuck it go on then

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

no tongues

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Most pointless kiss ever

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)

dog lipsticks?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:27, Reply)

As if that's ever stopped you before.
I heard you'd only known Stunned for ten minutes before he was up to his guts in your tonsils.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)

People have to do it all the time to me...
A symptom of my DJ years means I'm deaf as a post. Even with the aids (boom boom).

But yes, daily I have to explain common sense to people without. And these are supposed to be people at the peak of their careers... Seems that they are programmed a certain way though and rules and regulations get in the way of an easier way to do things.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)

*Alt
Food shopping and cleaning.

*living the dream*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Are you really a geordie?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Is your name really Jay?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:20, Reply)

I heard he wasn't even a real Jam Master.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Well it's like that...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Both of these facts are true
and it's Jason

And I'm not a fan of MC'ing apart from a bit Scooter.

(not really)

(I do hate MCing though)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I'm just going to stop you right there.
We have a very bad record when it comes to dealing with people's personal, real-life information on here.

As my esteemed sister-in-law once said to me:

Don't tell the internet things!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:52, Reply)

I'm doing nothing tonight.

But for the rest of the weekend I'm going to football in Southend, then Carter USM in Brixton then on Sunday to the theatre. Which is less cultured than it sounds, as I'm going to watch Mark Gatiss talk about LoG, Dr Who and Sherlock.

i just felt like sharing that as I've just hit a level of excitement for the weekend that is making the afternoon impossible to concentrate on, so I probably would have come here and told you all regardless of what the actual question was.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Who's the support act for Carter?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Cud and Neds Atomic Dustbin.
I probably won't be bothering to get there early.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Me neither!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:28, Reply)

Very wise. Even wiser to leave 20 minutes after you arrive.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:29, Reply)

after before
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I thought Carter USM might have died by now.
Are they still gigging or is this a reunion thing?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Somewhere between. They do a couple if shows in November every year.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I have some terrible, terrible news for you Scarpe.


They're really shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:28, Reply)

They're certainly no PWEI

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:31, Reply)

I have a soft spot for their cover of Beaver Patrol.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Yeah, but you're a bender.
And so's your face.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Mine is the face that launched a thousand fists.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Beautiful imagery
Terrible face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:41, Reply)

I've always found it
achingly beautiful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:44, Reply)

I know you have but what about mine?!!!!
HA HA, GOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:45, Reply)

*ties to a tree*

( Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:50, Reply)

I think that's because it's a cover of Beaver Patrol though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Does their lead singer still have that really stupid haircut?
That used to annoy me back in 'the day'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:30, Reply)

The only band of that era I have enjoyed seeing live is The Levellers. Who are v good (not fantastic) live.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Is their lead singer still completely fucking shit?
That used to annoy me back in the day. As did their name and their songs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:33, Reply)

lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:41, Reply)