Lose three stone
That's about it. Oh no, wait, get off the antidepressants.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:19, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

unless you've piled it on sisnce I last saw you, you don't have 3 stone to loose.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Maybe he means from his bumhole

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I've put on a bit since then
and I wanted to shift some even then. I wear it quite well. Dancer's posture, etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

3 stone?
You are only about 10 stone piss wet through.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Er... we haven't met...
*frantically checks bushes for camoflage hidey-holes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I have seen that picture of you dancing. You know.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Unfortunately that picture is 3 years old
Thankfully, and this may be why I've taken my eye off the ball appearance-wise, Ms Foxtrot hasn't visibly aged a day.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

It's gay slang.
He means he's taken a "pound"ing from 42 different guys and now he's leaking spooge from his ears.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

This mental image
made me officelol in a manner most conspicuous.

Click.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

officelol bang my hardon on the underside of my desk
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I fucking wish
My chair doesn't go to within an inch of the underside
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Oh dear
as a dearly departed friend once quoth "you need it to be big enough to hold in both hands and a swan to perch on the end with its feet at ten to two."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Oh, I can totally do that
Luckily I have hands like Beadle* and I assume you mean Swan Vesta

*Maroon 5's less successful etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:36, Reply)

bastard
i am laughing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Is everyone who makes you laugh a bastard?
Is that why everyone hates Spanky?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

no
you're a bastard for making me sing "oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh he's got the hands like beadle" inside my head.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)

You know what you need?
CARLY RAE JEPSON
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

You swine!
Nobody needs that!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Guaranteed to remove any known earworm
and replace it, obviously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Aha, but
I use the Pink Panther music, removes others but doesn't stick.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I use "Brass in Pocket" in a similar way

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I had no idea that such thought had been put into the matter

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Earworms is srs bsns

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Eat less and cheer up!
Hope this helps.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Let me guess
Do you also solve the problem of insomnia with "just fall asleep"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I can cure all manner of ills with a simple "Pull yourself together, man"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

God knows why you're not a doctor

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)