Newslink thread-bad news for London's lolfatties
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20897681

The comments section has already gone multiple Godwin.

alt: lunch

altalt: pub lunch?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:28, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Man the comments section is like
somebody weaponised the Daily Mail.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Is 'weaponise' a real word?
As in 'one we use in England'? It sounds suspiciously 'Dubya' to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:31, Reply)

No, it's one of those Americanisms.
I do stop short of using a "zee", though.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:32, Reply)

In fact, I think it's quite a good word.
I can't think of anything else that quite means the same thing, off the top of my head.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Plus Bruce Wayne says it in Batman Begins
so it's awesome by proxy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)

'armed'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:54, Reply)

hmmm, not really
armed is adding a weapon, not turning something into one.
What would the A-Team have said, that should settle it?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:58, Reply)

I like this post very much indeed
You're on excellent form today, sir. In fact I propose that you replace Murdoch as the funny one.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:12, Reply)

Nope. You arm a person or a thing by giving it a weapon.
Giving a thing a weapon doesn't make it a weapon itself. I can't think of another term to describe turning a thing itself into a weapon.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:01, Reply)

Do you particularly need to do it with one word?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)

One word is better than four.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:13, Reply)

You could have just said 'Yes'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:21, Reply)

pwned :(

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Dunno
Just let me leverage my dictionary going forward for an outcome.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:33, Reply)

In other news (segue!)
I am constantly hungry. The only plausible explanation is that I've picked up a worm from my mum's lamb tagine.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Perhaps you are pregnant?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Merely another form of intestinal parasite.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Intestinal?
Where do you think the womb is? #IwantyoutocallmeLoretta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:51, Reply)

inna box?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:54, Reply)

I don't have a womb, where else am I going to keep a fucking foetus?

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:59, Reply)

This is symbolic of your struggle against reality

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:06, Reply)

I just don't think Tangles considered biology when he made his suggestion.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Wait... you're not a girl?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Not genetically, no.
Some people (stunned) have called me a girl in the past, although I think it was a humourous suggestion that certain attitudes of mine (not drinking until I puke at lunchtime) make me effeminate.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Surely such prejudices and old-fashioned mockery do not exist on b3ta?!?!?!?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)

Speaking on behalf of all women everywhere
we don't want you in our gender.

kthxbye
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:20, Reply)

I'm in your gender all the time.
BOOM
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:22, Reply)

This is a sex joke Cavy, you wouldn't understand.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:24, Reply)

I just don't think you're geeky enough to get the reference
So we can't be friends any more.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:12, Reply)

I don't find Monty Python all that funny.
So I tend to ignore references to Judean Peoples' Fronts and dead birds etc.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:14, Reply)

*dies of shock*
Actually I'll give you that Flying Circus hasn't aged well, but the films are fucking brilliant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I suppose. Familiarity breeds contempt.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:18, Reply)

Splitter!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)

No, that's the Beckhams

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)

possessed by a fat ghost?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:43, Reply)

I'm all for it, so long as they put similar controls on booze and fags.
the comment section is beautiful to behold. I got to Hitler and the Nazis way quicker than I expected.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:43, Reply)

I don't see a problem with this at all
The NHS should be there to help people with problems they can't help, like broken bones and disease and ugliness.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:48, Reply)

BUT IT'S FASCIST TO ASK PEOPLE TO DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO GET OFF BENEFITS!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:49, Reply)

ABSOLUTELY
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THE NAZIS GOT STARTED
FAT PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VICTIMISED
OBESITY IS A DISEASE, STOP PERSECUTING US
FUCKING JEWS AND QUEERS GET ALL THE SYMPATHY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:52, Reply)

they were the first to ban smoking too...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Hitler had Parkinson's disease.
Which partly explains his shaky grasp on the causes of social problems in pre-war Germany.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:02, Reply)

you heard it here first folks.
Michael J Fox is a Nazi
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)

so is Muhammad Ali.
A black, Muslim Nazi.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:06, Reply)

given what little I know of The Nation of Islam
this is not far off.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Yes, they pursued Lebensraum in Eastern Europe and sought to establish a Third Reich.
You utter twat.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Well that explains a LOT
I always wondered why there are so many tea towels on heads in pictorial histories of WWII
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:14, Reply)

are you really that thick daze?
not a one to one relationship, granted, but they have their moments: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nation_of_Islam_and_antisemitism
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)

He feels forced to defend the rabid and unhinged rantings of the NoI because he likes the pop group 'Public Enemy'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)

he feels the need to be emphatically wrong when ever possible.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)

It's his 'thing'.
Well, that and 'WHISKEY CHAT'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:32, Reply)

weel, this clearly puts him a rung above a pleb like me who is currently trying to decide between Grants and Jack Daniels
to mix with his Lemsip.

I think I'll save the JD, it's the good stuff
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:36, Reply)

He finds a 10 year old HermanGoering goes best with that

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Antisemitism is not the same as National Socialism.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:44, Reply)

no Dozer, it isn't
well done.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

so what's your point then?
Are the Taliban similar to Nazis?

Help me out here, I get confused between specific strands of ethnic and religious prejudice, and specific political ideologies which encompass different policies and beliefs. Hitler was Catholic and vegetarian, does that mean that NoI followers should convert to Catholicism as well?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)

* deletes long responce half written as it's wasted on you*
fuck of dozer, you're wrong and you know it. I'm not rising to it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)

you know what Darth.
I'm always surprised by the "you wait till you lose your job and see how it feels" argument. I never really know why that's a point?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:58, Reply)

What, cos losing your job is an excuse for getting fat?
Well, comfort eating I can understand, but how hard is it to look at yourself in the mirror and go "I've put on weight. Best cut back or I'll end up obese."

Plus, if you're unemployed, how do you afford cake?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:01, Reply)

I've been getting smaller lately
but I've found the mental side of it more important to deal with than the less food side. This was most unexpected
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Most definitely
The hardest part for me - except staying off the booze - is sitting at work, bored senseless, and not scoffing. Well done BTW - your tits had best not shrink though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:05, Reply)

I think they already have :(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Oooh, moral dilemma
Do I encourage you to keep up the good work, or campaign for bigger tits by undermining your attempts to lose weight?




You do know that chocolate only has GOOD calories, right?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)

I'm against this weird pandering sex pesting

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:23, Reply)

I fail to see what's weird about sex pesting
Fuck off back to mumsnet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)

I've not ever been on benefits,
but was off work for 4 months after my accident, and it's crazy how fast you adjust to doing almost nothing, and eating everything you can. I know it's not the same as i couldn't walk, but if people don't motivate themselves to do something then in this sort of instance it is the job of the people paying out (gov, and by way of taxes us) to motivate them. punishment is a way to do it, as is media led social stigma. It's all a bit obvious but people want it to be a fascist conspiracy
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Intriguing
From my point of view it comes back to the NHS not being able to cope. How fucking stupid would it be for us as a nation to cripple our totally vital free health service because we can't resist delicious cake/abide the idea of a jog?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)

I don't think punishment is the way to go
encouragement is much better. Punishment will just turn it into a chore
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)

oh don't go bringing logic or an acceptance of the humanity of others into this,
they are enjoying all Daily Mail
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:16, Reply)

hang on Q,
are you ok with people getting paid to be out of work due to something under their control? I'm not saying being thin will instantly get them a job, but being too fat to work is your fault, and you should be encouraged to do everything in your power to find work. If at that point, you still are unemployed, then fine, benefits are there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:22, Reply)

if I say "yes" can we not have this conversation?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:28, Reply)

we can drop it if you're not happy talking about it yeah.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:42, Reply)

oh yeah,
I agree that punishment isn't the best way, but it is the easiest. And the government like easy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)

They've all had a go on Mirren
That's why she's a Dame
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:23, Reply)

I'll consider it when
I see the corresponding proposals to deal with the rich obese.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:23, Reply)

They give them jobs in government
#Pickles
#Prescott
#others (probably)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Here you go:

'private healthcare'

Glad to help x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Well that would certainly reduce the size of their wallets

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Private healthcare.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)

1. take away free public transport
2. make them go to dole office fucking miles away
3. ?
4. PROPHET!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:28, Reply)

Babyfucker
+LOST
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Me neither
I also believe all benefit application forms, schools you name it should be in ENGLISH ONLY. The poor wee Asians in Tower Hamlets have to have dual launguage street signs in case they get lost on the way to the dole office where they have translators on hand in case they are unable to claim free money and housing in English. The poor wee halal lambs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:00, Reply)

But then I am a massive racist so meh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:01, Reply)

I'm with you on this
I know there are benefits to multiculturalism etc but I do think that if you're going to move to a new country you should at least learn the fucking language before doing so. Places like Florida and Canada which have bilingual street signs etc do so because the heritage of the place is so mixed. It's not like there's been half a country speaking Urdu for 500 years here.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)

It's taking the fucking piss on the most gigantic of scales
But I suspect it's not this way through pressure from the Asian community but a result of 'affirmative action' from wankstains like Livingstone and Galloway with their preposterous 'there should be a flid ramp every 15cm' type handwringy worthiness. The fucking cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:37, Reply)

If they really wanted the disadvantaged to have a say
they'd make murder of all politicians who advocate this nonsense legal
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:40, Reply)

If there are underlying problems, then fair enough for not being happy about it
However, if like most, they're just fat, then exercise would be a good idea.

Alt: Chicken breast, stuffing ball, chipolata, steamed veg, boiled potatoes.

AltAlt: If I were to be anywhere near a pub when I was as hungry as I was this morning, it'd take a large Mixed Grill to sate me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)

ixed ountain
rill oat
ate odomise
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 12:59, Reply)

excellent work
you have conjured something from nothing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:01, Reply)

I thank you
I was especially pleased by the way all the additions begin with an "o". Totally unplanned.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:04, Reply)

he rolled 15 or more on a D20 and got +7 comedy mana.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Don't be so fucking stupid
I already HAD +7 comedy mana because my character toured with a circus troupe before seeking vengeance for my sister's death.

OBVIOUSLY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Which 'Graphic Novel' is that storyline from?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)

They're called comics ACTUALLY
God you're stupid
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Mixture of Robin and who?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)

You're the only one wishing for that kind of filling.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)

That reminds me
Must book a dentist's appointment
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:04, Reply)

If your gums bleed it means you're safe for another month

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Very incis(or)ive of you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Fuck 'em, teach them to live in London.
It's one of those things that's probably a good idea in theory but will be terrible in practice. Or the other way around. I can't remember, I've been drunk for 10 days and now some cunt expects me to work.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I didn't know you were a gynaecologist

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)

well, my qualifications have lapsed
but I'll have a bash.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

He can strip and wallpaper a hall, stairs and landing
from outside the front door, via the letterbox.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Oh come on!
Not a single LOL?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Surely it would teach them to not live in London?
I appreciate your sentiments about the harsh reality of being sober during the day though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

yes, I suspect this is one of the phrases where the commonly used variant (mine)
makes less sense than the opposite (yours)

although I suppose it depends if you want the lesson to be a positive or a negative thing.

I think I need to go back to the pub.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)

it's threads like this when I miss young Tory Freefair.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)

I'm still not sure if resident weirdo HH is FF pretending to be an adult.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)

He's not
He offered to meet up for a pint in Nottingham when I was back there this weekend. Didn't happen but I fail to see what FF would gain from such an offer.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)

The opportunity for sex with an older man?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)

He only has eyes for Monty

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)