OK, I'll dump this here and then get ready for a lunchtime sesh
How's your weekend shaping up? I've made some bespoke furniture for a study/bedroom, put in a wired network around my girlfriend's house and clipped the dog's claws. I'm now preparing to go for a couple of beers with the boys, then come home, finish off the vodka and watch films while squiffy! If I remember to put the oven on there may well be a roast chicken to soak up the alcohol.
Alt: Broken any Xmas presents yet? My mate has managed to smash his whizzy ceramic knife already by dropping it - ham-fisted oaf that he is.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 12:08, 42 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Fucks sake man, made some bespoke furniture?
Like 2 bricks and a plank?

Wired network? My phone does wireless.

Clipped the dogs claws? Did you give him any extras too?

Couple of beers? What's wrong with 30 beers?

Watch films while "sqiffy"? Savage drunken masturbation over underwear catalogues too low brow?

Roast chicken? Kebab too good for you?

Christmas presents? Are you 12?

Strange bastard.
( Ken Oath, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Agreeing with Ken here.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Forming a consensus here.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I would like to add my membership to this cross-party group.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)

count me in

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 6 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Is it too late to get on this bandwagon?

( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)

all i know is that one of my fish is missing and either one of them no good fuckers have et him or his fishy carcass is lying in the rocks somewhere i cant see
im hoping the cunts hiding
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 13:12, Reply)

How do fish count as pets? What's the point in 'em?

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 13:31, Reply)

what's the point in you?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 13:41, Reply)

this ^

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)

I make a mean pasta-salad.
Whereas fish are gormless fucks, that you can't even pet. But pet a real pet (e.g. a dog or a hamster), and when you ruffle their hair, you'll feel the endorphins surge.
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 17:57, Reply)

Did you check Roota's case when she was leaving?
I wouldn't put it past her to nick one for a snack on the train.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

has that woman no sole!
I think this whole board has haddock with her and her carping on
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)

*ignore 2.0s*
You feeling better now?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

nope, still ill
just less like I'm dying, now.Polonium poisoning is pretty nasty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Did he drop the knife on his dick?
Because ceramic knives in domestic kitchens are a sure sign of a tiny penis.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)

the fuck is the point of a ceramic knife?
'Oh I know what'll be good at cutting, that really brittle shit my plates are made of'

Chefs are spastics
(quintsy, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)

They don't need sharpening as often and they don't corrode in acid.
So if you're a lazy cunt who cuts a lot of lemons then they're ideal.

Also you can sneak them through airport metal detectors and bring down planes. UP THE REVOLUTION!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 16:39, Reply)

I BIN AT WORK
Tonight gonna get some mad boardgames played with some friends
Well cool innit bruv
( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

which ones?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)

just Arkham Horror
and then we're gonna eat quiche
( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:36, Reply)

don't go mad

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)

sublte implication that theo has no friends, right here

(quintsy, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:36, Reply)

I'm glad someone got this version of the meaning

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)

terrible bullying
I'm mates with all the mods you know, my dad's a mod
( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

my dad's a bigger mod than your dad

(quintsy, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

my dad drives a honda mod and he'll fuck your dad up

( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

only if he's not screwing supermodels at the time

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

terrible bullying of autists here

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

he has a busy day my day
9am - screw supermodels
10am - run over quintsy in his car
11am - back to supermodels
( Theoban What of it, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

12 - Massive Drugs break.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

I've been out doing stuff.
got some fish, had lunch in a pub, went for a long walk with the dogs. Gonna get on the drink now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 6 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

My weekend is going brilliantly thanks.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)