Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Bored with all'a dat.CITIZENSHIP TESTS.
Seen the sample questions? I'm all for British history playing a part of such tests but a multiple choice quiz does fuck all to work out if someone comprehends even a fucking word of them.
Which questions would YOU ask?
Btw some of the foaming-at-the-mouth replies on the BBC news site are fucking classic. Actual references to 'New Lie-bore' etc etc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:33,
323 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
You're the linkmeister around these parts.Seeing as you're due to lose your day job I felt it a little mean to deprive you of your online one too.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:40,
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chequeUnless you mean you've been looking forward to being weighed in at the end of your contract.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:45,
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Excuse my ignorance but what is a slot in please?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:51,
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So I don't have to reapply for my job, won't get made redundant etc etc.(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Hey look "I did spot the deliberate mistake about the Union flag."One of the commentators is as thick as Dozer.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:41, Reply)
The union jack is acceptable as well apparently, has been for decades.(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
The question was 'what is it commonly known as?' anyway.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:52,
Reply)
Name a song that has charted in the last 30 years that Monty Boyce doesn't consider to be 'bent'.For a bonus point, what label is it on.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:36,
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HahaIt's funny because it's not really Jimi Hendrix, but a particularly poor slice of bubblegum pop!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:42,
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That is precisely why!!!!There have been a some fucking splendid (previously) unreleased Hendrix tracks been put out over the past couple of years though eh.
I really, really liked that boxset of all the r'n'b 45s he played sessions on when he first started. Fascinating stuff and you can tell it's him right away on a couple of them.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:47,
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Yeah, I've got an album of thoseApparently there's a new one on its way, but to be honest I'm always wary of 'previously unreleased material'. The thought occurrs that if it was any good, it probably would've been either A) released before or B) included on one of his albums while he was alive.
It won't stop me from listening to them though.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:49,
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The live ones are incredible.The fulls sets from Winterland are genius. There's a Paris one too but I've not heard it. Plus if I am honest I am easily nerdy enough to listen to studio sessions, jams etc all fucking day long.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:52,
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Tell meIs the Hendrix Family issue of First Days of the New Rising Sun worth getting?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:56,
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Course it is.All the Experience Hendrix releases are excellent.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:01,
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Bit rude isn't it? I was only trying to help!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:27,
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Just clicked the linkIt has a 30 second Justin Timberlake advert before it. Much as I love Hendrix, I'm not subjecting myself to 30 seconds of Justin Timberlake.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
I wouldn't speak too soonTimberlake is arguably better than the actual clip.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:44,
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You're welcome to come and visit anytimeJust don't stay and take our jobs.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)
A knowledge of basic first aid would surely have to be one of the requirements.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:38,
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Blimey, is that the definition of going too far?When Al thinks you've gone on about something a bit much.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:41,
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To preempt challenges of massive hypocrisy, it's only because me and K are like totally friends in real life that I'm defending herif this had been the Luggage I would be saying get your KFC order in now.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
I understand that this is all about your desire to get K over here, get her drunk and then try and finger her.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:47,
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sorry swizz. I'll wind my neck in.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:40,
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NonsenseTulisa would rush you through customs on the premise that you double her album sales by buying a copy
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:55, Reply)
What order do you make tea in?Do you remove the teabag before or after adding the milk?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:36,
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Teabag?You're already doing it wrong.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:37,
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chicken and chips. Egg, toast, hash brown, black pudding, beans, bacon, sausage, soul of my enemy, other egg, other sausage.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:42,
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beeeeef what? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:49,
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Are you a feckless work shy scrounger?Do you enjoy mind numbing spirit crushing talent shows? Then welcome to Broken Britain
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:40,
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Are you a hard working white Christian, with a family, good job and tax receipts for 10 years?then you don't fit our inclusivity criteria and yourn not allowed in :p
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:45,
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Just been on the BBC news siteHow can anyone take this Islamist organisation seriously? Unfortunate abbreviation lols.
'Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM)'
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
1. Are you white? 2. Do you worship the same god as me?
If the answers to the above are no, fuck off back to your own country.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Then you are unlikely to blow yourself up caring about it. Welcome.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
'does yor food smell funny and that?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:42,
Reply)
Anyone who doesn't have me on facebook missed out my galic drama last night.Garlic in vinegar and cider in the slow cooker turned bright blue. It was weird.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
I guess he spotted the bleach i snuck in there(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:50,
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Psilocybin goes blue when it reacts with air.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:53,
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Monty goes blue when he interacts with his ex(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:54,
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Bit more complex than just the acid from the vinegaranswers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090712011655AAXj7oX
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:54, Reply)
someone said it had something about Monty python in. Monty python.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:41,
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That's what the ladies call me, yes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:41,
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They should be able to name every monarch since William the Conquerorand know all four verses of God Save the Queen. If they can't, they should be shot on sight.
Yours, etc
Major Twogomery Hattington-Smythe (Ret'd)
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:41,
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DAVID CAMEROON MORE LIKE!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:57,
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5 verses. You forgot the one about her knockers.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:43,
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God Bless her noble titsEven the wrinkly bits
God bless her norks
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:46,
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I think it would be easier if we were all just sent back.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:43,
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I'd like to go back. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:50,
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But I thought once you went black, you NEVER went backNow I don't know WHAT to think
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:52,
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I once did play a gig, where by the end it looked like I'd blacked up. I'd gone in with Orca whale face paint after that orca torture death thing a couple of years back. Don't underestimate the power of stage light heat.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
there is probably a photo. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:04,
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post it or gaz me, if you're feeling shy(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:04,
Reply)
I'll have a look for it. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:09,
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can't find one. It's very likely on my Facebook somewhere, or on the bands old MySpace. Soz.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:11,
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was a great show. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:20,
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But I'm only from here :(Unless you count Scotland or Wales which, let's be honest, nobody does.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:54,
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i suspect you blend these into a smoothy for breakfast(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:47,
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Chips = goodcheese = good
gravy = good
what's not to like?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:53,
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This sounds frightfully northern.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:54,
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i know, but we all have our guilty "common" secretsStunner has white leather sofas for example and monty likes to wear 3/4 length tracksuit bottoms on the weekend
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
Fuck no.Source: I was drunk, and it seemed a good idea at the time.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:13,
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"Are you a talented sportsman or woman, eligible to compete in English colours due to a preponderence of talent in your country of birth?"(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Swipe has helpfully just posted a massive high resolution picture of her face on facebookWho would like a copy for photoshopping purposes?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:18, Reply)
yes please, we ain't friends so i can't see it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:19,
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You are going to use it for 'photoshopping purposes'?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:22,
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But you look so pretty in it.I bet Nakers can't wait to add some spunking cocks and an old mans puckering anus.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:22, Reply)
I'm pretty sure Nakers won't be able to use Photoshop.Oh wait... You're not talking about Photoshop here, are you?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:23,
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Nakers thinks 'photoshop' is a kiosk in Boots.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:25,
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i hate that you can't get 4 individual pictures anymore, I mean what's up with that?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:26,
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*Nakers shrugging**Nakers not shrugging*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:29,
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I think it's only fair you gaz it to meShe's been a frightful horrid bully to me ever since I posted a photo of that guy that I said was me
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:29, Reply)
hey, i was no such thingit wasn't me that called you a kebab salesman
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:30,
Reply)
that's true, there were even people saying I looked like I was from ReadingAnd I certainly do not, I just have a holiday villa near there
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:32, Reply)
the lack of things to do there, decent schools and businesses has left all the residents in a state of permanent shrugging(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:38, Reply)
does the shopping centre there still have a really gay name like 'the orb' or something?Where did you go, anywhere nice?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Soz. Coppid Beech in Bracknell. Yeah, Bracknell. That's Reading, right?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Bracknell is worse than Reading I reckon(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:55,
Reply)
been through there, there were a couple of traffic lights on the high street(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:00, Reply)
had loads of meetings theregot a meal deal at a petrol station on my way back
i live the high life, i do
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:02, Reply)
In today's magazineHow to take photos of your food
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:31,
Reply)
NEW THREAD! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:41,
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windy pig is hardly going to support that sort of bullying(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:45,
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windy pig's not a ginger, he's far too gorgeous online to be a ginger(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:46, Reply)
shut it ginge. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:49,
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Windy's both gorgeous AND a ginger, Q.What a crazy world we live in, right?
You do look like you're from Reading, though. Soz.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:49,
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seriously, like julianne moore or emma stone pretty?Good job that really wasn't a picture of me
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:50, Reply)
it totally was, we could even see your Ford Probe in the backround(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:52,
Reply)
Emma Stone isn't pretty at all. Are you mental?He's pretty close to a Moore, though.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:52,
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I don't think she is either, lots of other people seem to thoughI couldn't think of any other attractive ginges
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:54, Reply)
some people like the fat one from mad men(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:55,
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Well you are entitled to your opinion and I respect you for it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:57,
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no sorry the other thingWHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU GAY OR SOME SHIT BUM BOY MOHER SHITCUNTER
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:57,
Reply)
i'm pretty sure you wouldn't say no to a dead dog if any hollywood actress pissed on ityou fucking vagrant
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:59, Reply)
Emma Stone is smoking hotEmma Stone would get it so hard she'd need an episiotomy
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 16:56, Reply)
I prefer Joss Stone. She's the best soul vocalist of the modern age.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:00,
Reply)
she;s just some kid who did some singing a few years backnothing to get upset about
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:05, Reply)
she never answers my letters, even when i send her presnets like that pretty bird i found in the road(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:12,
Reply)
cut off one of your bodyparts and send that to herthat'll get her attention, the devonian, noe pierced bitch
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:16, Reply)
OK, Emma Stone has a nice body.But her face, man. She looks like somebody dipped Toad of Toad Hall in bleach. Repulsive.
With a paper bag attachment, though. Would.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:12,
Reply)
That's fair. Her face is all wrong, though.Not like Swipe's, whose is all professional but with a slight mischevious smile.
*boke*
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:15,
Reply)
You know how you're single and totally unnattractive to the opposite sex?That is in part because you have no taste what so ever.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:15, Reply)
It's funny how your offline reputation follows you online.Cheers for massaging my egos, guys.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:17,
Reply)
And he's French.GOD I HATE HIM.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:17,
Reply)
What's worse is that his Frenchness is probably the least offensive part of him.Why won't he just die? That's what I want to know.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:21,
Reply)
I'm soooooo hungry OTis it weird to eat sugar puffs now?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:23,
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It's so weird that I think you should kill yourself just to be safe.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:28,
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I did choke on a puff, but nothing serious!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:33,
Reply)
IT'S OK GUYS!!! NAKERS IS OK!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:37,
Reply)
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