Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
spare me your life storyalt tell me your life story in under a paragraph
altalt do something a bit less shit than that like tell me about your lunch or your weekend, you fat ugly shut-in shits
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:44, 137 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
You're a bit like Stoke, QuintersWe know you exist but have no idea why, or what purpose you serve.
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)
I make other people feel better because they're not meA bit like Bradford.
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
DARTH PATROL(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:54,
Reply)
This www.eastlondonadvertiser.co.uk/news/court-crime/muslim_patrol_homophobic_abuse_victim_comes_forward_1_1830512
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:58,
Reply)
They'll shit themselves when they meet up with Montyand his SEX MEN
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
ENUFF RESPEC BREDRENHave to stop now as I don't know any "street" words with eight letters
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
On a dark dark planet, in a dark dark country, in a dark dark city, in a dark dark street, in a dark dark house, I live a dark dark life
Signed
A vagabond
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:54,
Reply)
In West Philadelphia born and raised, in the playground was where I spent most of my days.Until I got banned from there, and from going within 100m of any primary school.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:55,
Reply)
if anything i could say that this cab was rare, but i thought 'nah forget it', yo home to bell air!(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:58,
Reply)
I had a very unhappy childhood.Things are better now.
Lots of love,
Dozerinotwinkletoes xx
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
it's just that you seem like an insufferable prick, so it can't be that great(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
online prickishness doesn't necessarily mean offline prickishness.In your case, I sincerely hope this is true.
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
He's got a hamster called Grace now.This would explain it
This doesn’t explain it
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
OK, why not.born and raised in suburban south London, one sister. Did OK educationally, getting better results over time as I responded to challenges and learned to deal with dyslexia. Left Uni with a good but useless degree and signed on for 2 years as I had no ides what to do with my self, not proud of this. Eventually got a job in media/IT and have been doing variations of this ever since. married a psycho and had a kid. got divorced and am now much happier but still has disastrous taste in women. Generally quite a happy under achiever, I'll not make much of a mark on the world but this has never bothered me as long as I and those I care about are happy.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 12:59,
Reply)
No wonder Cavy dumped you(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:01,
Reply)
YEAH HE'S LIKE THE ENERGISER BUNNY(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
After many years as a wacky-tached inventor and general television 'character', I successfully circumnavigated the late Victorian world in eighty days, for a wager of £20,000 with members of London's Reform Club.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
I like this better.I might have to write an alternate. actually writing a life storyt of people's online persona is probably more fun than the reality.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
Privileged middle class drop-out picks himself up and becomes mediocre disappointment.Alt: fish n' chips - oh yes!
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:12,
Reply)
Born in the North-East to mixed parents, a mother and a fatherThus began the legend. Built my first supercomputer at age 5, redesigned Honda Accord out of Meccano to a specification quickly banned by the UN in order to give Ferrari a fighting chance. Married a succession of supermodels and financed them all through their PhDs as only women of my own intellectual level stimulate me. Emigrated to Australia as part of a governmental masterplan to make them shit at sport in time for 2012, managed it so quickly as to make the 2009 Ashes a fucking walkover. Easily the greatest keyboard warrior in internet history. Homebrew genius. Inspiration behind Indiana Jones. Philatelist.
Cheers.
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
OMGPONIES!!!1!!!panzi.github.com/Browser-Ponies/
As you were.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
^^thisIs there no depth of depravity to which the internets will not sink?
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
That looks a bit...er...pony.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
Get your motor running.......(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
I rather like Steppenwolf.But then I am a tough outlaw biker* so it's kind of expected really.
*Grifter, if you're interested.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
Hey MonceLet's get us a couple of hawgs and hit Route 66. Just you, me and the road. What do you think?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
I'm there, bro.Just you, me, the open road...maybe we'll hit on some broads we meet on the way.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
Can you get one with a sidecar so I can come?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
Head out on the highway(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
I was raised like a MuslimPrayin' to the East
Nature of my life relates rhymes I release
like a cannon
Cuz I been plannin' to be rammin' what I wrote
straight on a plate down your throat
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
I wasn't really, just joking.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
Colonel Abramslolz(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
In the air force it's 'Rear Gunner'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
WTF(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Rear admiral in the navy (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Yeah but it looks like I copied you from here(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
YOUN DID(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
Able Seaman merchant navy(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
You dont seem to grasp the rules do you?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
Giving a shit failI'm sorry - EPIC giving a shit fail.
LOLN00BKITTUMZ etc
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:27, Reply)
My father once had dinner at Glamis Castle with the current Lady Macbeth.On my fucking life he said 'the butler emerged from the cellar with an outstanding Semillon'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
I'm economising. Might have a wank instead. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
You made it (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
Only fucking just. Scary roads here. Nice motor though. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
No the popular pageRETARD
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
I think you was on pint No. 7 of strong polish larger
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
Thats like 16 pints then for a normal sized person(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
My dad, Grand Vizier to the Sultan of Agrabah, is attempting to retrieve a magical oil lamp containing a genie from the Cave of Wonders. After seeing a petty thief's failed attempt to enter the cave, My dad and his parrot, Iago, learn that only a "Diamond in the Rough" can enter the cave. Jasmine, the Sultan's daughter, frustrated withIr life in the palace, flees to Agrabah's marketplace. There she meets street rat I and his monkey, Abu. The two discover they have a lot in common. When I is detained for thievery, Jasmine orders him released, but My dad lies toIr that I has been executed. Disguised as an elder, My dad releases I and Abu from prison and lead them to the Cave of Wonders. The tiger-shapedIad of the cave says to touch nothing but the lamp. I and Abu enter the cave, where a magic carpet guides them to the lamp. Abu's attempt to steal a ruby causes the cave to start collapsing, but the carpet flies them to the entrance. As I delivers the lamp, My dad tries to kill him, but Abu bites My dad in the arm and gets the lamp back asI, the carpet, and I fall back into the cave just as it closes. In the collapsed cave, I rubs the lamp, unexpectedly unleashing a genie, who revealsI will grant I three wishes - with the exception of murder, romance, or revival of the dead. I tricks the Genie into freeing them from the cave without using a wish. While contemplating his wishes, Genie admitsI would wish for freedom, sinceI is a prisoner to his lamp. I promises to free the Genie for his last wish. After talking about Jasmine with the Genie, I decides to use his first wish to become a prince soI can woo Jasmine. I returns to Agrabah just as My dad tries to trick the Sultan into arranging a marriage between myselfand Jasmine. When I parades into the Sultan's palace as "Prince Ali", Jasmine rejects Ali as a suitor. Despite the Genie's suggestion that I to tell the princess whoI really is, I remains the suave prince, and takes Jasmine around the world on the magic carpet. During the trip, Jasmine exposes Ali as the I, and demands the truth from him. I instead fabricates a story thatI sometimes dresses as a commoner to escape palace life. The couple kisses as I returnsIr home. Afterwards, I is captured by My dad and thrown into the ocean, but the Genie rescues I as his second wish. I returns to the palace and exposes My dad's plot; and My dad flees after noticing the lamp in I's possession, realizing who I is. As I gets doubtful about revealing who really is, Iago steals Genie's lamp and brings it to My dad, who becomes Genie's new master. My dad uses his first two wishes to become Sultan and the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Using his new powers, My dad forces Jasmine andIr father to bow, exposes I as a street rat, then exiles him and Abu to a frozen wasteland. I uses the magic carpet to return to Agrabah, where My dad has imprisoned both Jasmine and the Sultan as his slaves. Jasmine distracts My dad with a seductive act as I tries to steal back the lamp, but My dad confronts him.I imprisons Jasmine in a large hourglass and turns myselfinto an enormous cobra. As My dad traps I in his coils,I boasts to be "the most powerful being on Earth", which causes I to shout out that the Genie is more powerful. Faced with this realization, My dad uses his final wish to become a genie. However, My dad discovers that genies are not free entities asI is sucked into a black lamp, dragging Iago with him. The Genie flicks the lamp into the Cave of Wonders. After I realizes thatI cannot keep pretending to be somethingI is not,I decides to keep his promise and wish for the Genie's freedom. Seeing Jasmine's love for I, the Sultan changes the law to allowIr to marry whomever she deems worthy. The newly free Genie leaves to explore the world while I and Jasmine celebrate their engagement.
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
jaffar is the grand vizier and the genie is the magic one at the starti got confused toward the end of your post
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
My childhood was alright. mum died, that was a bit shit. spent some time being a bit of a tear away, things are okay now. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
Take two:Born in Darkest Africa to missionary parents, young Wilfred Quixote Fogg was a bright but troubled child. He made his first invention at the age of 7, a steam-powered bicycle of extraordinary speed but poor maneuverability and set off to circumnavigate the globe. Sadly his control over this velocipede was so poor that upon his return he crashed quite badly and managed to kill both his parents. This tragedy sent young Wilf in to a spiral of depression and laudanum abuse that would last through his teens and into his young manhood.
Wilf was briefly able to pull himself together, with the aid of copious amounts of Lithium, long enough to meet and fall desperately in love with the glamorous Lady Cavington. He was happy indeed until she callously threw him over in favour of a young Irish stable-lad, Rory by name, who's handsome physique and devil-may-care attitude quite turned her head.
Following this incident our hero is a sad and lonely shadow of his former self, wandering the earth in search of true happiness accompanied only by his steam-powered bicycle and his servant, a young lad, cruelly afflicted with both homosexuality and cerebral palsy, who thinks he is the son of god, for company
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
Not bad at all, young master Wilfrington.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
Mildly hungover. Survived driving around Poland in a big flash merc this morning. Got the afternoon off. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
When are you back?SECRETB4$H!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
I was born in Rotherham and things have been pretty good since then.altalt why the harsh words q I thought we were brothers
(
Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
it's ok I feel your love but also know that if you keep it up i'm off to the man's shelter where you can't touch me no more(
Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
About time too. You fuckin stink bruv.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
i've been hanging around with all the jews and french on here far too long(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
I had lunch with a guy from Doncaster and a Polish guyThere's no hope for me, forever tainted
(
Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
Into the bleach-bath for you, sonny.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
All the bitches love a nice Aryan pubis.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
Hey guys, look!It's Theophilus Bannockburn!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
SORRY CANT TALK TOO BUSY JUST LEAVING THIS HEREmetro.co.uk/2013/01/31/cookie-monster-extortionist-makes-biscuit-ransom-demand-3376706/
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Desperate marketing ideas #10562333(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
‘It is not a marketing action by our company, no way,’ a company spokeswoman said.ha!
(, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Because the police always tell people to pay the ransom and ignore things such as CCTV and 'evidance' in general.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
They absolutely do, it's standard practice.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »