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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hiya kids!!!!!!!!!
It's Monty here you know off the internet?

My stocktake is now done at fucking last. My staff are mongols who made it far more drawn out and unpleasant than was necessary. Should have ended a good 6h earlier than it did, the fucking knob-ends.

What do you wish would end? MY LIFE AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Alt: Tell me about something/one/place that is REALLY COOOOOOOL.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:27, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
My job, fucking shit at the moment.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Moi aussi

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)
G'day sport

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Galaah

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)
Bogan

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
This working day.
Oh wait, it is now.
I'm Captainplaciding out of here.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)
You can't work a full day because your weedy frame is fueled only by quinoa and wheatgerm
so by 10am each day you suffer from exhaustion.

Plus, you're a right gaylord.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)
TEEEEEE AAAAIIIIITCH!
Alt: MY LOVELY PANTS! LOL!
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Yeah boyee.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
In all seriousness though, I'm not one to dictate what is and isn't cool
I hardly ever even leave the house. LOL!
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
You can be cool at home, TH.
You CAN and you ARE.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
*prouds*
Cheers Monce...you always know just what to say hun x
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)
I'm going to send you a card and a teddy holding a heart on Thursday.


Err, I mean 'I wonder if a mystery admirer will send you something this week?'
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Squee!!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)
My spicy pickled onions are way cool
If only I knew someone who had loads of chilli's left over and needed the recipe.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)
IT'S ME!!!!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
I'm going to go out on a limb here....
Vinegar, onions and chilis?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Yep + a few other bits and sourcing the right onions

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Ah, serious eh?
I do love a good strong home-pickled onion. We haven't made them in years actually...perhaps we should.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)
I used to love them but my palate has changed and vinegar freaks my nut out these days.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Vinegar is such a slag.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Vinegar ruins the flavour of some things. Roasted beetroot = win. Pickled beetroot = fail.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)
^ Total truth right here
We used to grow beetroot. Not only are they delicious roasted, but you can eat the leaves. A lot like spinach, in taste and texture.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
They sell them in asian supermarkets round my way.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)
Nah' man I like 'em both.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:31, Reply)
+ call the whole thing off?????
Nahh I use pimento (all spice) a little sugar and just use pre-pickled onions, the longer you leave them they hotter they get. Bird’s eye and scotch bonnet work well, also the Dorset Naga one’s after about 6 weeks are well hot.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Good advice, cheers

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)
For you X2 no problems

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
I used to know this fella in cyprus who would pickle his own onions.
And I swear man, it turned me into a dragon.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)
The constant critiscism of the Nazis
Get over it, you zionist wankers.

Alt: Interstellar space.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Innit, the winners always write the history books.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Yeah, only I don't read german so well.
But if they had won, I would be able to.

This isn't a paradox.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Alt: the inside of my freezer!!!111!!!!!!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
this hangover
Alt I have nothing
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Alt: Let's just skip straight to this....
I can only assume that his car is a Honda Accord and his bird is a supermodel.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21410565
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)

'Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.'

Of course he did.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Pity Search is borked.
We must assume that this has already appeared on QOTW.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
I have £1000 on what actually happened
being he fell over while trying to put a shelf up and stabbed himself with his screwdriver and is far too embarrased to own up.

Although, to be fair in Wisbech people not dropping chips is pretty important, but it's usually the local scrubbers being bent over the bins behind nightclubs that are trying not to drop them
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)
To be fair to the populace of Wisbech
they have developed the extra finger to be able to grip the chips more firmly
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Dell are bringing out the Wisbech keyboard; especially developed for people with six fingers on each hand.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)
and the webbing
let's not forget the chip-gripping webbing.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)
Ah the sexy sexy
chip grabbing greased up webbing...
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:02, Reply)
It's all happening in Wisbech
www.wisbechstandard.co.uk/news/gallery_unsafe_undesirable_and_unacceptable_councillor_seeks_solution_to_parking_problem_at_march_station_1_1928626
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
lol, 'course you did, mate. 'Course you did.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:59, Reply)
Jimmy Hill? Meet Mr Chinny Reck-on.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)
There's more chins in this story
than a Boyce family katana duel.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)
well this is fun

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:57, Reply)

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