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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, Lighty's spending tonight crying and wanking.
What are YOUR romantic plans?
(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 7:57, 134 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
A quiet meal at home for the two if us, dependent on micro Battered going to sleep at a reasonable time.
Hopefully followed by some sex.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:06, Reply)
man, married life sounds amazing.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:08, Reply)
Good morning, young master Winnipeg.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:13, Reply)
and a good day to you to Sir Montington of Boyce.
Any news from the front lines?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:19, Reply)
I am meeting my solicitor in the City at 3pm.
In other news it seems I qualify for legal aid so mediation will be free. Lucky really as each session is £200. The assessment alone was £120.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:25, Reply)
well that's good.
Any word from the enemy?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:30, Reply)
Only a letter to my solicitor saying that she refused to deal with my nominated mediator.
She then blanked four calls from her.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:42, Reply)
Oh man, Battered's being zinged by EMV and *ingofyr*
b3ta.com/questions/thenaughtystep/post1862742
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Oh man.
Gutted. They've got me. Big style.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Those two zingmeisters should be knighted for services to wit.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:54, Reply)
It's coming to something when the good news in your life is that you are now poor enough to qualify for legal aid.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:37, Reply)
If I wasn't me, I'd envy myself and that's for sure.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Actually I think it kind of is
Will save thousands just because she's a stupid and possibly psychotic cunt
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Do you think his bad AIDS will affect his legal aid?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
As a

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
You dirty nonce.
Waiting for your daughter to go to sleep first.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:09, Reply)
Harder for them to say no.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:11, Reply)
Also: do you REALLY fuck dogs?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:11, Reply)
I've already answered this.
It was a no.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:12, Reply)
You just toss them off doncha.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:13, Reply)
To be fair Monts
He does give them a little kiss afterwards.It makes it more romantic
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
He's the Andrew Luster of Kilburn sorry Queen's Park.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:13, Reply)
Who?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:14, Reply)
Max Factor heir and serial drug-rapist.
(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:14, Reply)
With a step-ladder.
(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
Nah. Stilts.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
Frank says to say
'could someone please tell Battered I'm very very sorry indeed if I have inadvertently upset him and I promise I'll never ever do it ever again'
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:32, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:32, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)

\(◉‿◉)/
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:35, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1863385
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:38, Reply)
LIC has his OKcupid account now.
I bet he is beating the super models away from his Honda Accord as we speak.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:11, Reply)
Going round Lighty's with a packet of digestives, a handkerchief and a whole world of possibilities.
(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:11, Reply)
You're even more sick than I thought you were.
And I didn't think that was possible.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
Is this your way of saying you think you might not make it to Lighty's til about 8?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:18, Reply)
Yes.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:22, Reply)
Don't forget: digestives, yeah?
Those rich tea were a fucking disaster last time.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:22, Reply)
shut the fuck up you fucking tampon

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:29, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:29, Reply)
Yo Francisco
(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)
I'd love a good crywank tonight, but unfortunately my wife will be there and her disdainful glare puts me off my stroke.
So I'll be rehearsing instead.
\m/(◉‿◉)\m/
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)
You need to practice cry wanking?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:42, Reply)
Practice makes perfect.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:48, Reply)
What a fucking selfish bitch.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:43, Reply)
That cow ruins all my fun :(

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Don't worry m8- plenty of room for you round Lighty's!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:51, Reply)

(◉o◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:54, Reply)
You rang?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:15, Reply)
We're going out tomorrow instead
Having a couple of friends over for supper tonight instead, where there will be beef bourgingon, cheese, port and NO SWINGING
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I didn't realise that was the deal.
I'm not coming now.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:48, Reply)
ok then, but just a quicky yeah?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
I'm always quick.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
See if you hadn't pointed that out, nobody would have noticed
Now we know who your guests are
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
Oscar Pistorius and his GF?



Oh.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:51, Reply)
Let's face it, he's fucked when it hits court.
He hasn't got a leg to stand on.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
He'll be relying on the Legless Defence fo' sho'

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
do you?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
Going to restaurants on Valentine's Day is excruciating.
My dad and I agreed 'never again'.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
2 sittings, ridiculous set menus, high prices and rushed staff, it's the perfect date!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
And if you're really lucky, some gaylord playing a guitar and a gyppo flogging roses.
I've encountered both of these in places which really should have known better ie not Nando's.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
Did someone say they needed a gaylord playing a guitar?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
TO THE TWANG-MOBILE!!!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Nothing out of the ordinary
So probably cry-wanking
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I'm going to go to sleep with a loaded gun and wait for my girlfriend to suprise me.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21455453
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
roid rage innit

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
He'd get checked for that you cretin.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:02, Reply)
off season innit

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
OH WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:05, Reply)
Has anyone watched The 4400?
Is it any good?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
Yes, no

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
No, yes

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
No, no
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:56, Reply)
+ there's no limits
?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
there's no

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
is your sig
the name of some faffy indie band?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
oh yeah sorry
also '...no lyrics'
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:04, Reply)
I liked the idea of it, and the first series is at least watchable, but good? I'm afraid not.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Ta.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 9:05, Reply)

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