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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread that is less girly.
Massive diamond heist. www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21504112

If you could commit one crime and get away with it, what would it be?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:34, 172 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
£43 millions worth.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
bank robbery
Obv
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
You don't get much by robbing banks any more.
All electric money these days. Maybe rob the federal reserve.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
why am I looking at battereds wedding photos?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Not me. A gentleman never wears a bowler hat with tails.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
electronic genius and hacker that can steal money then

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I'd steal your heart x

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
my world has just got a bit shit.
We had a couple of cockroaches by the back sink, so I phoned the pest guys, all sorted, but the wanker has submitted a report saying i was "obstructive and unhelpful" and was "letting the situation get worse" all because he turned up at 7pm on a Friday night and I told him that he couldn't spray chemicals around when it was that busy. And now the big boys are coming down for a chat.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
What the what?
Surely they'll see your point of view? It seems reasonable to not let someone spray dangerous chemicals in a pub at 7pm on a Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Probably get more of a bollocking for the place not being clean in the first place & attracting cockroaches.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
it is clean, they appeared after we had some new White Rock installed around the glass wash, so the I reckon they were on the builders, or in the van or on the gear.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Yeah, just say your piece.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
it's not so much the bollocking for pests, more that I was happily cruising along under the radar,
Making good money, staff retention pretty good, dear t profit conversion and eho results all good, so they left me alone, now I've been flagged they'll be sending people round every few weeks and getting up in my shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
:(
I had a rather uncomfortable conversation with a customer last night who saw a mouse run past the kitchen. She was a massive, massive bitch but I still had to refund her £150 worth of food and wine.
I'm not looking forward to going back in today and getting shit from my boss for 'giving away his stock'
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Blame the mouse she let out of her handbag.
Also, food obviously, but why wine?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Because she was a cunt.
I explained that bit, but she was having none of it. One of those "I'm the customer blah blah" types. It got to the point where it was embarrassing for everyone involved. Her friends looked ashamed of her.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
I hate those sort of people.
I had a customer bring me a mouse he'd caught in a pint glass in one old pub, very helpful.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I had to kill one the other day.
I wanted to cry. It's leg had been torn off and it looked all scared and in pain. Poor little guy :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
A mouse, not a customer btw.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
:(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
The story is not as good now.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I for one a sad that Lusty doesn't work in a place that lets her kill customers.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
I wish I could Al.
Some of them deserve a hammer to the face.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
an old boss cut one in half with the swing door from the kitchen once, right In the middle of service, the screams was hilarious.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Now I know that I'm going to pop down to your place of work, have a very expensive session and then complain about a rodent infestation.
See you soon!
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
We've had a little mice trouble, the water levels are so high they're looking for somewhere nice to go.
They have found the traps in my cellar to be decidedly unwelcoming.
A full refund? Ouch.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Was there any evidence of a mouse?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
I didn't see it, but know there's a few about.
I did feel awful about it and know it's not pleasant but she was a massive bitch about it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
To be honest I wouldn't give a fuck. As long as food's kept off the floor and surfaces are clean it's not a big problem.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
this is what the eho think.
It's not illegal to have mice, just illegal to not do anything about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Pfft. Like I'd share that online.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Probably this one.
But with more panache. I'd have left a calling card and a few more crashed police cars with all policemen coming out of them scratching their heads and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
There's a certain "cool" factor with a diamond heist.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Especially if you get caught, and end up in the ...
COOL-er!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Badum-tish!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
they broke my watch.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
*points, taps nose*

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Probably some sort of killing spree

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
I'll gaz you a list of names to include.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
No probs, I'm not travelling though, you'll need to herd them my way

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Fair.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I'd like to just smash some shit up.
Go wild in a huge shop with a bat and a selection of axes and grenades and things.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
I had to walk past my next door neighbours Mercedes
while carrying the BBQ gas canister back to the garage. The urge to heave it through the windscreen was overwhelming.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
there are far too many windows in this pub.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
never go into a pub without windows
fact for life there
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
I know a great little basement pub in Edinburgh with no windows, it's ace. you're wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
The Wally Dugg?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
that has a Window no?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Tiny thing right at the front which doesn't let any light in.
Doesn't really count.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Ok, 2 windowless pubs.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
The only other basement bar I can think of is the St Vincent, but that has windows.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
you know what I mean, the type where the windows have been permanently sealed
www.monkchester.co.uk/images/walker_2/Img_3714.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
oh right, yeah, that's pretty sound advice.
A boarded up pub by us was found to have a dog fighting pit.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Awesome!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Forget a darts board or a pool table
THIS is what you need.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
I'd steal this
www.noiseaddicts.com/2008/09/biggest-record-collection-in-the-world-paul-mawhinney/
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Meh, I prefer mp3

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
And then go on and on about how mainstream 90% of it is?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
You got it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
well this is going well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
So's your face!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
a series of murder rapes of course

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
you could be the new "Crossbow Cannibal"!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight?
Cause usually they fucking hate each other!.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I have heard it before and I still laughed out loud and made everyone stare at me

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I didn't think this was very funny - 4/10

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
I'm sorry I've let you down.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Once upon a time there 3 balloons, mummy balloon, daddy balloon, and baby balloon.
Tired of baby balloon creeping into their bed every night,
"Tonight you must stay in your own bed" said mummy.
When he was sure his mummy and daddy were asleep baby balloon crept into their room and tried to squeeze into their bed.
But try as he might he just couldn't fit in, so he undid the bottom of his mummy and let tiny bit air out of her. But to his dismay he still coultn't fit in, so he crept round to his daddy's side of the bed and undid his daddy's knot and let a little bit of air out. Again he tried to squeeze in but still couldn't quite fit. So he undid hiself and let a little bit of air out. Then he fitted in nice and snuggly and fell sound asleep.

When his mum woke up she was furious!
"Get into your own room at once and think of what you have done young man!" she shouted
"I am so dissappointed in you! Not only have you let me down and your father down, you''ve let yourself down too!"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Kill yourself.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
I totally committed a crime at the weekend
and I was going to get away with it but I owned up and faced the music because I'm not exactly a hero, but definitely an anti-hero. I couldn't not take responsibility, it's the military training.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
so you got your ticket then?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Eh? Dunno.
I suppose I ought to call that place.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Jesus Christ Kroney, sort yourself out.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I'm a free spirit, man. I can't be having with all these rules and regulations
and calling places and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I will lol HARD if you were going to get away with it, but all your meddling caused them to charge you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
This ongoing drama about your speeding ticket is possibly the dullest thing I've ever seen on b3ta.
AAnnnd, I read one of FrankSpencers /qotw answers once.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Haha Christ, next to your home brew and flat searches that's some going.
I'm proud of myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Tell me about your speeding ticket Kroners
I haven't heard this story yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I dunno, man.
I ought to stop boring everybody with all this making fun of myself and let Chompy entertain you with some homebrew chat. Maybe a review of which fucking valve or whatever is best.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I went for an S30 by the way.
which is for the best I think.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
No seriously, what happened.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Alrighty
So I was driving to Bath and the A4 outside it is a 50 limit. I come around a corner at 55 and am face to face with a camera van. Fair enough, I was speeding.

Then this: b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1868024
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Then thirty seconds later I got stuck in a traffic jam for half an hour.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
So if they took your average speed, you would be well under the limit.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
The traffic jam did seem rather unfair.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
55 on the speedo, or real 55?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
on the speedo

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
speedos tend to read low, just so you know

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
no wait I meant high, speedos tend to read high

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
I'm pretty sure they are required by law to be accurate to 70

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
prolly, doesn't mean they are though, especially on an old car

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)

The UK law is based on the EU standard, with some minor changes. A speedo must never show less than the actual speed, and must never show more than 110% of actual speed + 6.25mph. So if your true speed is 40mph, your speedo could legally be reading up to 50.25mph but never less than 40mph. Or to put it another way, if your speedo is reading 50mph, you won’t be doing more than 50mph but it’s possible you might actually only be travelling at 40mph.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Unless it's fucked.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
YOURN FUCKED

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
No, they are required by law to not underestimate your speed
but they all overestimate your speed. If you have a satnav that actually gives you an accurate speed based on how you move on the GPS, you'll see that if your speedo says 70, you're only really driving at about 65-67.

Also, if you're doing 55 by the speedo, you are only really doing 52. And they give you a 10% leeway on cameras.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Oh look, yet another subject in which Al claims to be an expert.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Oh look it's another piece of very commonly held knowledge that Battered doesn't understand.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Where is it said that I don't understand it?
Lame effort Al. Lame.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:59, Reply)
No quick, write a witty comeback, quick quick, or the people on the internet won't respect all 4 foot 8 of me

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
The crux of all this is that I'm surprised at how difficult
I'm finding it to put myself in a position of actually being able to pay any resultant fine, rather than the fine itself.

It's all my fault anyway, obv.

I'm just upset there weren't any cyclists I could have run off the road into the van.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
The car would stop at the first transistor anyway

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Speedo is likely 10% optimistic.
maybe more, depends on tyre wear. Not legal to under-read so manufacturers make sure they're over at all times. By GPS mine shows 76 at 70, for example.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
I really don't think you'll get done for doing 55 in a 50.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I'd rather know than rely on the opinions of the internet
well-meaning though they are.

On the phone now >.<
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
They are gonna ban your ass
your dream of a 30 year old golf are withering and dying as we type
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Not on the system yet
but the girl on the phone said it might not show until Wednesday week.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
My GF is a cop and my previous GF was a cop
And I've had the discussion with both of them in the past on the subject. You'd be very very unlucky to get a ticket for it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Uniform fetish eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Not really. The uniform is pretty disappointing I have to admit.
It's not exactly Benny Hill I'm afraid.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:14, Reply)
kicking the Queen in the tits

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
gu.com/p/3dqg2

When I say all, I mean children, the aged and asthmatics. Probably some smokers, and those with poor immune systems. And hopefully some hippies that try and cure it with homeopathy and sex rituals.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
not clickin that, could be a virus, soz

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
lol.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
What's it all about Windy?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Bit like Sars, going to kill us all.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Oh, I don't care about all that old guff
I just mean in general. What's it all about?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
at the moment, hob nobs. I want a hob nob with my tea

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Chocolate or plain?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
plain please

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
It's alright I went and got a crunchie

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Right, I'm back! I bought plain, milk chocolate, plain cho...
Oh...right
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Oh, right. Well I'm alright, Jack.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I feel unfairly discriminated against in that list of likely victims.
Birmingham isn't that far away either :(
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
You can't help your age and asthma.
You should probably stop smoking, though.

And being a hippie.

And a gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
How dare you!
I don't have asthma.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
that's just him wheezing from malnutrition

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
The wheezing's down to his poor immune system.
Probably typhoid.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I've heard you can catch that when you are iron deficient

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Need a Dozer opinion on this.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Nobody, anywhere, ever, needs Dozer's opinion on something.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Nice work by The Doveston
b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1868551
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
can't open that can you copy and paste please
thx xx
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Oh yeah HAHA that's brilliant, well done teh doveston, lets all tell him he's brilliant and touch his bumhole.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Fuck off Al.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Wow, wow, that's just .. wow, that's quite special. I'm really impressed by that. No really, I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
BTW Battered, you asked how tall I was in the last thread?
I'm 5'10", Stunned's an even sixer.

You're well short, soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
I am 6' 2 1/2"
here me ROAR
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Only shortarses need to count the half inches.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
clearly

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)

I'm really about 6'2" shhhh
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
depends on temperature though doesn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
I'm bringing a tape measure to the next bash.
Stunned is taller than 6' isn't he?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
This made me office lol really quite hard

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
How would he reach peoples' heads to measure them?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Stunned is about 7'5", the fucking great lummox.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
I thought so.
He's a fat fucker an' all.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
This really is Battered's problem though, isn't it?
He hangs around with Stunned and Monty, who tower over him.
I'm 6'1 and they looked tall to me.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
^^^^^THIS THIS THIS^^^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
Whereas you looked short to me.
Basically I'm saying that I should be the standard by which height is measured.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:05, Reply)
4'' shorter than you.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:06, Reply)
This thread appears to have strayed into CAR CHAT territory.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
I just got a crunchie

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
and it's not even Friday

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
it's Tuesday

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
Are you only allowed them on Fridays?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
if it feels right

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Like a bongle, but more brittle.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
It's more brittle than Battereds' ego

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
He has egoporosis?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
I got caught driving without my lights on and got 6 points and £160 fine
they said it would have been a three year ban if it had been dark.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
RACISTS

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I feel a bit sick after my crunchie, I'd forgotten how sweet they are :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:11, Reply)
We have to donate to have search fixed or something.
robs talking about it on /talk and board
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:11, Reply)
I'll deffo pay for that
rather thann use :b3ta in Google
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I thought I'd better give him a tenner
since I haven't donated for ages.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:17, Reply)
yeah me neither

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:18, Reply)

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