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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I can't get warm.
So I'm going to have a hot bath and then order a curry.

Are you warm enough?

Alt. Favourite opening line.

Alt alt. Evening!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:39, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
yes
alt: "We all came out to Montreux"

altalt: bollocks
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:47, Reply)
alright there Zoggy
*ruffles hair*
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:02, Reply)
you do know I don't have any hair on my head right?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:04, Reply)
What makes you think it was your head hair
*winks*
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)
yeah, that's kind of where I was going with this line of inquiry

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:08, Reply)
DAMNIT at least play hard to get

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:09, Reply)
I can't resist when you ruffle my armpits

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:18, Reply)
Let's take a moment to reflect on this outstanding piece of Online Upset.
b3ta.com/questions/guiltylaughs/post799696
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:50, Reply)
when he says "being in a wheelchair"
I assume he means "being a wheelchair user"

because that's how wheelchair users usually refer to themselves these days
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:51, Reply)
what about spastics?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:34, Reply)
Oh man, HP got you GOOOOOOOD.
b3ta.com/questions/guiltylaughs/post801890

I bet you were heart broken eh?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:56, Reply)
This is the one that HURT.
b3ta.com/questions/guiltylaughs/post801893
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:01, Reply)
HARSH.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:02, Reply)
He went through a stage of unironically telling stories which all seemed to end with him doing some poor girl up the bum.
He got rather upset when I observed this fact to him.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:04, Reply)
Also: he appears to have been banhammered as well..

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)
Really?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)
Oh don't tell me you're an angry bumsexer liar as well as being an angry midget?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:09, Reply)
Nah. Angry midget is more than enough for me

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)
He was still posting last night
b3ta.com/questions/utterlydrunk/post1870895
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:08, Reply)
Not HP, Nimrodinho, you berk.
Fuck's sake, keep up.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)
OH.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)
this is still my favourite fail
www.b3ta.com/talk/5154970
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:06, Reply)
Still your finest hour Frank.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I used pure logic there
Wittgenstein would have been proud of me, if he wasn't bumming little boys at the time
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)
Bou: a one woman example of the serious mental health problems in South Africa.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:16, Reply)
I'm astonished to learn that people with locked in syndrome can communicate via the internet

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:04, Reply)
Yes. However it is about -9 here, so fuck going outside.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:50, Reply)
I went for a drink in Katowice once when it was -30
just sayin
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:54, Reply)
I am in a hotel that has a bar. So no need to go anywhere until the morning.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 18:55, Reply)
What not even to bed?
You rebel you
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:12, Reply)
Evening Jeffers
I’m quite warm thanks
What curry are you ordering? This is important
Alt:Open up…….We have a warrant for Hector DelTaco*

Alt:alt:Heavens to Betsy so it is
*From "The Baytown Outlaws" great film
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:01, Reply)
A hot one.
Probably a hot chicken one. Beyond that, I'm not sure.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:16, Reply)
I had a really really really nice
Chicken balti the other night

TRUSTORY
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:19, Reply)
What did you have with it?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:21, Reply)
Just Naan bread
The missis had rice and popadoms and all that stuff,

Two massive fresh made Naan bread was enough for me
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:24, Reply)
Naan is a much accompaniment than rice.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:25, Reply)
Local place cooks them fresh
They are about the size of a dartboard, also adds spices and lemon juice to them, they are a marvel in themselves
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:28, Reply)
I am hoping to get a Tandoor for my 40th, so I will be able to do my own.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:29, Reply)
That sound like a great idea
also see if you can invest in a smoker
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:30, Reply)
My wife is as we speak marinading lamb for three different curries for my return on Saturday.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:23, Reply)
And you believe her?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:24, Reply)
She's just showed me on Skype.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:25, Reply)
Next door is permeated the block with the delights of the non-orient east. It hits you as you walk in the door. It hasn't stunk out my flat, just the coridors, but I've got the windows open anyway.
I've got a roast chicken on with 2 bulbs of garlic (just cut 'em in half, no chopping) and an onion that its resting on. Then I got about 1/5th of a jar of Very Lazy Garlic and salt, then a ton of faux-butter, and put that all under the skin and in the crevices and all that. I've opened all the windows and shut the kitchen door.

Then I got some Boul Lavent or something like that, some posh crusty white loaf, to make an awesome-sandwich. Gonna then apply some salad and mayo and chili-jelly and crisps.

I came up with an idea, imagine if you could type out a subject line before you call someone so it comes up on your phone when they call.

Not sure what my favorite opening line is, the one to Sexy Beast is good. I ♥ that film.

Alt Alt - alright?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:12, Reply)
alright Gonz
Fart through their letter box, if you have no bot dogs to hand
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:22, Reply)
Alright Hare.
I was talkin' to Ma' about what I'd do if I got 5 and the bonus on the lotto (£250k), and my answer was for it to facilitate getting a dog, that's what I'd do. I didn't even think about having an unlimited supply of dog eggs to put through mortal enemy's doors.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:57, Reply)
You need to look at the whole picture....
when you make an investment like that
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:09, Reply)
That was brilliant!

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:13, Reply)
SHAMBO IN DA HOUSE

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:16, Reply)
I've been down the morgue!

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:17, Reply)
Shame about Cliff Richard.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:17, Reply)
What about Cliff Richard?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:17, Reply)
"British pop singer, musician, performer, actor, and philanthropist"

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:24, Reply)
And sexual deviant.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:30, Reply)
best of all deviant's

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:32, Reply)
LOOK OUT! CLIFF!

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:40, Reply)
*ducks, dodges and weaves*

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:43, Reply)
I only just got home.
Alt: it was the biggest cock you'd ever seen and you've no idea where that cock has been.

Alt alt: evening!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:17, Reply)
eve's plummy D
Shall we kiss and make up?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:25, Reply)
that'll be the AIDS kicking in.
I am toasty warm, wearing jammies and stretched out on my sofaa watching Anchorman.

Alt: hello, usually works for me.

altalt: evenin' Jeff, evenin peeps.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:39, Reply)
Not only am I sufficiently warm
but I've also taken my cardigan off and had an ice cream.

Having said that, I've got my winter blubber layer on at the moment.

Alt: In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf.

AltAlt: evening!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:51, Reply)
Sexy cardigan :)

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:54, Reply)
Is there any other kind?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:58, Reply)
Don't interrupt at the vinegar moment

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:59, Reply)
Did you fix the cooker?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:54, Reply)
That's no way to talk about her husband.
Anyway, he's so old he's beyond fixing.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:56, Reply)
Totes.
Took the bugger apart, repaired it, and put it back together again.

Well proud, innit?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:57, Reply)
Wow.
You should start a cooker repair business.

b3th's burners.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:15, Reply)
a delightful evening, then

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:55, Reply)
In a minute, we're going out to find alcohol.
I'd say taht tops off the day nicely.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:59, Reply)
Update. Curry ordered.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:55, Reply)
What? which one? what did you order?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 19:56, Reply)
I ordered
Kathi Kebab
Ramo Dhakhna Special
rajab Nan
Special Pilau Rice.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:01, Reply)
I'm well Jel innit

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:03, Reply)

Jel bent
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:04, Reply)
Oi
:(
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:07, Reply)
Meh.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:15, Reply)
Hahahahhaha
Textbooklolz
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 20:31, Reply)

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