altalt: monty's ex after being smothered in nutella and shoved into trafalgar square for pigeons to eat. and then run over by a bus when even pigeons have better taste

dozer - autoeroticasphyxiation whilst watching the news. with a turquoise binliner.

hartley - hanged himself with grief after learning about the loss of dozer.

battered - ripped to shreds by american tourists wanting his lucky charms.

stunned - shocked everyone by outliving us all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:19, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Got me nailed to a tee there
Swipey Ma'am
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

like a crucifixion you mean?
not painful enough, soz.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I can imagine Stunned doing that.
The man's made out of leather.
( Kroney, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Nobody gets my horrible American breakfast cereal.
AltAlt:

Swipe: lonely suicide after all her hair falls out as a result of too much dye in an attempt to hide gingerness.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)

it's all being cut short and dyed blackberry dark today
so ner
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Are they doing 'downstairs' as well?
I know you're not getting any, but the collars and cuff should match nonetheless. Got to maintain standards.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

how do you know i am not getting any?
your sources are not current, old chap.

hollywood all the way, bebbeh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Can't beat a shaven haven.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:26, Reply)

A quim trim

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

yes you can
that would get all stubbly and itchy, rank.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:31, Reply)

99 problems, but an itch ain't one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

PEEDO!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Sticking a candle up your vadge and sitting on the washing machine at full spin does not count as getting any.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Flappy Birthday!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

i have an integrated washing machine
so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Thanks "Metal Mickey"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Integrated in to your vagina no doubt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

No doubt she'll claim it's a Hotpoint

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Better that than a Whirlpool.

( Kroney, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Or a Hoover

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Or an Ariston
What are we doing here?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Dunno
something about Swipe's vadge and a washing machine?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Never gonna happen.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Hopefully not.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)