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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am still living at my mothers
Should I try and get back with the wife this week?

Alt. Do you have any new cruel and amusing put downs that could be aimed at someone who has been kicked out of their own home?

Alt. Alt. I haven't cunt Al a cunt in five minutes or so. Al is a cunt right?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:26, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Yes indeed. Al is certainly a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)
We've already told you how to get back with your wife.
Come back when you've tried all our suggestions.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)
OMG SEARCH IS WORKING OMG

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Yes!
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=%22Al+is+a+cunt%22
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
but I still have no new icons!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Nor me.
I guess they only give them to the large benefactors.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:34, Reply)
or people who actually donate money
nah you should hace got one. I think they don't like you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)
NOR ME!
B3TA CUNTS!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
OMG! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SEARCH FOR FIRST!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)
If you log out you can search for your own posts by popularity
and see the most popular of all time!
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)
actually you don't have to log out, just change "me" to "everyone" in the url.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)
You don't need to log out
you can use b3ta.com/search/posts/me/best
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)
I meant this, which shows other peoples
www.b3ta.com/search/posts/everyone/best
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)
The me one is wrong anyway
my 4th most popular qotw answer according to search doesn't even make it in to my top qotw answers on my profile. FIX SEARCH NOW! ITS BROKEN!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Wow, I'm well lol.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)
So am I.
I think there's two new ones since search was broken on my front page.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1833916#post1833919
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1797278#post1797281
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:50, Reply)
Most of my most popular posts appear to be from /links
I must be more liked there than here.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:52, Reply)
They're all click whores.
I mean this is one of my best rated things. b3ta.com/links/561044#post561047 and it's not even that funny.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:54, Reply)
No, I'm sure it's because they think I'm brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Yeah, why not?
I assume you haven't been inundated with offers from other women since she kicked you out and being a weekend dad looks shit.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
I have had a few offers
crazy, I guess they wanted to take their small window of opportunity, one was quite hot actually, maybe I should rethink this
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Could you delay the reconciliation for a few weeks while you get your cock wet?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:47, Reply)
Nah, have the bitch killed and then reclaim your kids.
you know it makes sence
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
What about "Roofless Homewrong"

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Or 'Mummy spare bed marriage wrong'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
"Big Chief Sleeps-Alone"

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
"There's a voice, keeps on calling me"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)
send her one of your fingers in the post
i can't think of anything more romantic than this
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:38, Reply)
About 10 years ago I put an address label and a first class stamp on a Snickers
and it arrived at my flat (in very good condition) in two days. I was very impressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
So what are you saying? I should stick a stamp and write my address on one of my fingers?
Should I do this before or after I cut it off?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)
I'm just saying that you could save yourself a fortune in envelopes

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Don't cut it off at all, just hand yourself into the post office.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)
I've just murdered my wife, shes in the boot I've come to hand myself in.
"It's single queuing love, you'll have to go back round through the barriers"
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:49, Reply)
"I'm just going to pop you on hold"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:52, Reply)
In fairness, one of the opposition players came out with a pretty left-field comeback in that vein on Sunday
We have a mouthy kid that plays for us and eventually the guy marking him came out with "if you don't fucking shut up I'm going to murder you and put the body in my boot"

Textbook.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Sounds like a right 'Knightmare'.
'You're in a room'


'at your mum's house'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:53, Reply)
>you are eaten by a grue.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be kicked out?
Do me a favour - stick your hand down the front of your strides and check to see if you still have your balls would you?

Alt.Alt: He most certainly is.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:55, Reply)
What you should do right, is set the house on fire, then run in and save your kids
and blame it all on your wife so you get custordy.

Fool-Proof.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:56, Reply)
I can't see how a plan like this could possibly fail.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Nothing is foolproof
to a sufficiently talented fool.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
I found this searching back through my old post hahahahaha its funny cos its Al!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1220418
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:03, Reply)
'Member those other people who used to post?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:05, Reply)
Yeh I do
and people think this place has got worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Judging by your various posts over the years
I have decided that either you or your wife, or both, are a fucking nightmare. My advice is to give it the fuck up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:07, Reply)
I don't think you should give up on a marriage because it's a bit of a pain.
I'm sure PJ just moans a lot.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:09, Reply)
And I could moan every more
things could always be worse, at least im not Nakers
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:12, Reply)
You have been added to the distinguished list of b3ta men who've been beaten up by a girl though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:14, Reply)
YEAH.
REAL MEN HIT BACK.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:16, Reply)
Beaten up is pushing it
she hits me but she's quite petite so I have had harder pats. She'll have to use a bat next time.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:16, Reply)
She's only doing it because she knows you won't hit her back.
I can't stand people that use any form of power over somebody else where the other person can't fight back on equal terms. It's fucking cowardly. My ex used to do it. She'd call me all manner of names and then if I ever retaliated she'd break down and accuse me of abuse. Fucking mental.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I may have encountered something ever-so-slightly similar in my life.
Assault me in front of my kid and then refuse me access to my daughter because of concerns about her safety.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Which is why I, as a personal opinion, reckon PJ should just bail.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I think I agree actually

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
I'm going to give the counselling a chance.
I think people can change if they actually want to and I don't think she actually wants to be a violent, frigid stress bitch. and if she wants to change it might be ok.

If not I'll start shagging my mates PA, she's hot
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
I'm going through an utterly pointless mediation process simply so I can say I tried.
Attempting to reason with the insane, nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Has she actually gone to one yet?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Of course not.
She said she'd 'endeavour' to give me her proposed mediators within 28 days: time's up tomorrow, then I take to to court for violating my existing order.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Her solicitor must be aware he's onto a loser, here.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I still think you should get her bumped off. Automatic custody!
Unless you're some kind of drug addled loser with no money
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Think of the child benifit!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
My wife calls me an idiot a lot
and I know its not exactly the worst thing to call someone but I am quite proud of the fact that I have an education and continue to educate myself, increase my skill set and improve my CV . So I get quite offended when she calls me an idiot because i'm fucking not. She could call me a twat and she'd have me bang to rights.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
You fucking idiot.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Yeah, I get it.
It's not the form of insult so much, it's the fact that it's a personal attack from somebody you love. I'm afraid that it does reflect how they feel about you rather more than when they're being nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
If you're not right, you're not right.
Putting yourself through getting chucked out like this just wastes time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Wow it really is shit on here today.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
YES

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
YES!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I might go and hang out in my shed for a while instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Have fun!!!!
Don't forget to close those creepy curtains you have in there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Bamboo blinds AKSURLY

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Oh right sorry I take it back.
Creepy blinds then.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
THAT'S BETTER.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Is this a dig a PJ's dad?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Now hang on.
I wouldn't choke about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
That's a ropey response.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Swings and roundabouts...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I've confused
My Dad didn't hang himself
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Why not?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
These jokes just don't work sorry
He gassed himself
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
The thing is, I don't know whether to laugh or not.
I've fallen between two stools, here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Gibbet some thought.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
These are all fails
If it helps with the jokes he monoxided himself in his car in his garage.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Can you lot stop gassing about PJ's dad and make with the funnies, please?
Anyway, PJ, your missus sounds poisonous.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
Maybe I should hang myself

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Because you're fuming?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Hose that going to help?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
What a choker!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Have we exhausted all the puns?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
this is better

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
CO BLIMEY

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Fuck you Monty
I have given you an ideal platform to take the piss out of me. If you can't think of anything funny thats your fucking faling not mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
OH RIGHT IT'S LIKE THAT IS IT?
I SEE. WELL.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Yeah, he's got a point, though.
Mind you, I can see why you wouldn't want to draw attention to him being beaten up by a girl :)
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Just chin the bitch.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
The temptation's got to be there, surely.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Bruises heal
I'd need to try something that leaves more emotional trauma
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Tell her she isn't the mother of your children.
There will be a lifetime of doubt there, and you'll get to go on Jeremy Kyle to prove otherwise.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
impacted anus?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
Murder?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Shit in her mum's cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Her mum likes that

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
So does yours

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
Your point?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Is that your mum likes it when I shit in her cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
So?
We all have sexual preferences. Who am I to judge that my mums happens to be that she likes midgets to shit in her cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
I don't think I'd ever be able to shit on anyone.
Let alone in them.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Some people shouldn't be parents.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-21573630
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
Speechless

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Fack.
That's not good. Mummy has to have her fags when she's watching her stories though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Yeah, but they're probably pikeys anyway right?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:12, Reply)
That's a given anyway.
Still, with regard to the story, you either get this outrage at what the povs are feeding their kids, or the outcry about the nanny state dictating what Tarquin and Esmeralda are allowed to have in their sandwiches.

Statutory sterilisation for anyone who can't pass a basic parenting course. It's teh only way.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
I would imagine your mum puts out more than your missus does
so you might as well stay where you are.
Alt: Probably, give me a minute.
AltAlt: Al is a horrific cunt. This is INTERNET FACT.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
b3th's here, time for a new thread.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)

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