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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sheds dead, baby. Shed's dead.
Are sheds dead? Consider this and scratch your head in my Shed's dead thread.

Alt: Camping, fun outdoor break or would you rather have Scarpe's Mum catch you trying to stick your own penis up your arse?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:51, 155 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I like camping.
I'm thinking of organising a camping trip with the girlfriend.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:52, Reply)
The problem is that they're often "family friendly"
meaning kids everywhere and mods chasing them.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:53, Reply)
There are adult only camp sites. They normally allow fires too. Brilliant.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:54, Reply)
YEAH FIRE I LIKE BURNING THINGS!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
ME TOO.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
And me.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Are you trying to plan a B3ta nudist camping trip?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
The idea of Stunned and Chompy dancing naked round a campfire is more than I can bear.
I may kill myself.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I'm buying a new shed this week
12' by 10' exciting times
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Are you going to get some Battered style paedo blinds?
So you can nonce kids without prying eyes looking at their nubile young bodies.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:53, Reply)
I'm afraid I have 7 foot fences around my garden
so no chance of stealth noncing.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:55, Reply)
You're not committed to the shed lifestyle are you, Peej?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
I need somewhere for my booze and bikes

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Kids love bikes and booze.
You can get their knickers off quick smart if you've got those two things.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
it is for you to sleep in?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:55, Reply)
No, its to make boooooze in!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Kids love booze.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
HURRAY

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I'll save you some just in case you ever come to pastyland

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Camping in dry weather is fine
Camping in wet weather sucks big style.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:55, Reply)
this is correct but is not the entire story
as getting woken up at 5am with a stonking headache in a tent rapidly being turned into an oven is no fun either.

I see little point in camping if you can afford a hotel/b&b/self catered place
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
this is all wrong
camping in a thunderstorm is the best thing ever
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I have grown out of camping.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Grown out of camping?
You don't like inexpensive weekends away?

Vous parlez de ton cul.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:58, Reply)
It's freezing in the morning, shower facilities are at the bottom of the field and usually communal
and most of the time it's really uncomfortable. I can just about put up with it for a couple of days if I've an air mattress, fleece on top, sheet on top of that, duvet and additional blankets plus pillows.

If not, fuck that. I'll stay in a b&b where I've a proper bed and my shower with proper hot water. And a decent kitchen, not a shitty gas stove.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Monsieur, you have to have all the equipment.
PROPER equipment. MAN style.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
THEN IT@S NOT CHEAP ANYMORE

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
One time investment.
Most of the stuff has been accumulated over years. Old kitchen stuff goes into wooden wine bottle holders, that sort of thing.

Got proper double airbed with sheets, duvets etc. Leccy pump. As you say, sitting around in the summer with a spliff in a field is great.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
I have done both types of camping (cue smutty remarks)
The 'everything and the kitchen sink' type in a large 6-berth frame tent at various campsites around the UK, and the 'if it ain't on your back it ain't going' type all over Europe.
In all fairness, for family camping with kids you need facilities, if it's just you and some mates, roughing it is perfectly acceptable.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
agreed.
I like the idea of a campfire, spliffs, beers and the open air. but i can do that outside a nice comfortable rented coattge
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:58, Reply)
It's like you can see into my heart

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
I feel you you know? I FEEL you.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
HOW DARE HE
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2286297/Mo-Farah-VERY-ambitious-wife-dash-cash-risks-tarnishing-Olympic-hero.html?ICO=most_read_module
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:58, Reply)
Those blacks are all the same, always chasing paper

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Yeh, disgusting. I for one will be not getting paid to not run it at all!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
he should do run for the love of his country, the country we LET him stay in

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:02, Reply)
He should give his Gold Medals to homeless white kids!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
he basically stole that gold from hard working white brits

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
He's no better than a mugger

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Uppity fucking muslim.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Classic mail comment:
"He wasn't born in Britain, he doesn't live in Britain. Why is he a British hero again?"
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
My shed will never die

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Unlike those poor kids you lured into it.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:00, Reply)
They should have stayed about from my shed.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
I got that pallet of Hubba Bubba you asked for.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Thanks hun. x

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
I'm thinking of dismantling my greenhouse and one of my sheds this summer
Imagine that!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
what do you grow in your greenhouse?:

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Nothing anymore, that's why I won't miss it
We have grown tomatoes, peppers, courgette, all sorts. I even grew a naughty smokable plant once....but it turned out to be male, so it was useless. It got massive really quickly though.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
That's males for ya
Tall, bushy, useless.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
RIGHT, SISTERS????

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
*looks at Battered*
*says nothing*
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Yeah, I have to admit that even though I knew it was male
My hopes were unrealistically high. Unlike my good self. LOL.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Oh, we grew chilis once
I tried a little bit of one and found it was completely spice-less. So disappointed in the batch, I idly ate the rest while I was making dinner. Turns out the first one was a dud and the rest were fine. I did a little native american dance, then hit the milk big time.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Find a mate with gout
It has been alleged that, if you add the anti-gout medicine Colchisine to the water, it will make a male plant female. So I heard. Somewhere.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Seriously?
I do know someone that has gout....hmmm.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
poor old stunner

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
poor, pissy Stunned.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
WTN

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
I have read that you need to use it all through germination and growth.
Wouldn't have tried it myself. Oh no. No siree bob.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Put them back together and combine them.
Like some weird greeshouse chimaera!!!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Oh man, that'd be sweet

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
I'd like a greenhouse. One day, Kroney, one glorious day.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
You can have mine if you like
I could mail it to you bit by bit
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Oh man, you're the BEST

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I went camping for the first time since about '91 last year and fucking loved it.
Next time: LSD.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Surely a tent would be better for keeping the rain off?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
Fuck no.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Do you keep the rain off WITH YOUR MIND

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Camping's great!
Sheds, not so much.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
fuck camping right in its hole
nice hotel or b&b please
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Sort of defeats the object of camping really

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
what's the object of camping?
surely people only camp becasue they can't afford proper accomodation
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
I have been camping several times
and its never been because I couldn't afford a hotel
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
you are clearly some sort of deviant then

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Fresh air, campfires, booze, shooting small animals and eating them, pissing against trees.
its great fun.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
no no no
the ground is hard, the toilet situation sucks, there is nowhere to plug your straighteners, everything gets damp, there are insects, it is too hot or too cold but never just right, someone gets food poisoning from the shit cooking..... urgh.

hotel me up baby. hotel me up real nice.

i MIGHT consider glamping. but that's it.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Which is why me and you could never work
you're too fucking pampered and will never survive the upcoming apocalypse
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
We could train her up as a rape bitch.
You know, for raping.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:16, Reply)
For our own use or to trade for booze and ciggies?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Both, mate.
She would be our minge currency.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
oh so tents are the reason?
nothing to do with DISTANCE or YOUR WIFE or the FACT THAT WE'VE NEVER MET or that I AM INTIMIDATINGLY GORGEOUS?!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Not just tents
You're just not a survivalist. The rest of us will end up eating you and people like you. Once you're no good as Stunneds rape bitch anymore that is
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
i would just run you over in my car
it's all good
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Good luck running a car after the apocalypse
fuel and food are the first things you get killed for
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
i will get localboy to push it on the premise that he will get to see sex

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Me and Stunned will give him free goes on our new rape bitch if he turns you over to us

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
THIS ^^^

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Nakers and Swipey should hook up and share tampons

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
fuck it, why would I want to sleep on the lumpy hard ground
+ i am too tall for most tents. Fucking your camping, me and swipey will be having cocktails in the pool bar.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)

tails
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I have to sleep diagonally in a two berth
and I can't fit in a one manner at all :(
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I can so you must be able to.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Not in the tent I've got.
Fucking tents. They're horrible. I'd rather stay in a bloody youth hostel full of youths, for god's sake.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Now, hold on.
There's no need for that.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
paedo
oh yeah...
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
SHE'S OF AGE

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
oooooooh tetchy there
mr savile
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
those of us that have managed to grow to decent heights just don't suit camping, also I have no fat to cushion the hard ground

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
i had to take an air bed to the big chill
thank fuck i did, that floor was horrific. ridgy hard mud. urgh.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
and you got tits to lie on!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Airbeds are a must or it is shit and uncomfortable.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Never used one
I'm a "what you can carry only" type camper
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
^^^THIS.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I agree with you we often hire a cottage in Cornwall
With a huge fire pit/BBQ area you get all the benefits of outdoors, fire, beer and food.
As soon as you get cold, bored, it starts raining you can fuck off in doors and charge your mobile.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Its people like you who make Cornwall shit

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Yeah.
What a fucker. Although I do like Cornwall's cottages.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Yeh, shame no Cornish person gets to live in one
all owned by londeners
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Go and burn another holiday home
I'll hire what I want, when I want.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)


(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
what an enormous picture that is....

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Not really
you must just have a shit resolution
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
yep becasue without tourism Cornwall would be a hive of economic activity

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
MMMMMmmmmmmmmm Asian Salads

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Don't care about the economy
I just want those damn tourists to stay about from my bins.

Its more that we have shit wages down here but the second home owners are forcing the property prices sky high so we can't afford it so the government thrown up shit housing thats only for locals or for first time buyers and its all shit.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
So just like the rest of the country then?
Haves and have not’s all over the country
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Its different in Cornwall
Most places low wages mean lower house prices, just look up north. In Cornwall its the opposite.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
If you had decent motorways we could get in and out quicker
thus allowing you to charge a fucking fiver for an ice cream to more London cunts you ungrateful Worzel.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
i did click this
sorry peej but the word wurzel just makes me laugh
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
The Wursels aren't from Cornwall
so it doesn't offend me
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:39, Reply)
Calm down, Gummidge.
I'll get you cup o' tea and slice of cake.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Me too.
I like a hotel with a little brown fella bringing me drinks every 8-12 minutes until I pass out as much as the next man.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Now you're talking.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I did have a great tan didn't I?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
C'mon. Nothing for this? Are you sure?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
I had a little flag once to could raise to get waiter to come over

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I love posh hotels.
You can act like a right twat and they just take it.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
me too
the posher the hotel, the better. i'd rather have 3 days in a 5 star than 5 days in a 3 star
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
And that's the other thing.
It's nigh-on impossible to have proper sex in a tent.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Or any where else in your case

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Well yeah, but you know, THEORETICALLY

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
We always take a cheap kids pop up tent camping to stick unimportant stuff in
I fucked Sally from Oxford up the arse in it. Mind you thats not proper sex is it.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Peej, I am glad to see you are treating the tent issue
with more seriousness than the shed issue.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Tents is serious business!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I've had lots of sex in tents
and its possible and great. especially in a double sleeping bag
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Not with legs everywhere and stuff flying about all up the walls it's not.
Not without seriously mentally scarring the children in the neighbouring tent and causing the father to stare at you aggressively and the mother with a certain thoughtfulness, anyway.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
Oh, well you have to just not care that people know what your up to
They couldn't see it, but they all knew.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
and how long was it since either of you showered?
eg pulling at glastonbury sounds wrong
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Ah I took a girls virginity in a tent at Reading festival on the forth day one year
Good times, good filthy times
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
It sounds like stuff that should be on the outside would end up on the inside
like mud and weasels and things.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Hahahaha.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
it'd be like going down on dreadlocks

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
That'd be the least of your problems if you got a weasel up you

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
so long as he paid for dinner
i'd have had worse
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
sneaky dig lols

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
with hilarious consequences

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Although lolz can be had
by waiting until the act is well in progress, then quietly pushing a car behind the tent and switching on the headlights.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
I was once having sex in a tent and my wonderful mates snuck around removed all the tent pegs
grabbed a corner each and dragged us up the field. Put me right off my fucking stroke I can tell you.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
that sounds like a lot of effort just to watch two people shagging
have you heard of internet porn?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
It was outside a sports club in Edinburgh
directly opposite the bar windows, so a large group viewing.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
I camped out in YM once

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
ME TOO!!
Hold on....
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
It was like a big sweaty marquee inside

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:17, Reply)
with a fish market in it

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
on the equator

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)

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