So, if you could start from scratch and reinvent your life (within reason) what would the differences be?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:11, 56 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

My ife?
If I could re-invent my ex-wife I would.

My Knife is OK, and I have no strife. I've never played in a military band so have no fife to lament.

Which consonant do you require? (he required an L - all of the above is redundant).
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:22, Reply)

I thought you were dead.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:23, Reply)

I thought YOU were dead

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:24, Reply)

Trying, but not yet. Will let you know.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:25, Reply)

yeah, no need really

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:34, Reply)

Do you like boats? I want to be buried at sea.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:39, Reply)

I own a boat
But it's in a canal.

Will that do?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:41, Reply)

boats can fuck right off

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:52, Reply)

Stay ABOAT from my fuck

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:25, Reply)

I went on a canal boat trip once, it was fucking shit
absolutely fucking utter fucking wet dogshit from beginning to end
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:26, Reply)

I don't think I'm dead
Let's put it to the popular vote....
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:24, Reply)

you're both dead

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:24, Reply)

That statement requires qualifiying with
"...when I track you down with my meat cleaver."
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:28, Reply)

I assumed that was a given

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:29, Reply)

none

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:23, Reply)

i wish I'd realised earlier
that no one else has a fucking clue what's going on either
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:24, Reply)

Yes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:25, Reply)

I'd have had a lot more confidence in myself
and stood up for myself a lot more.
And I'd have had a lot more sex.

Evening, benders.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:27, Reply)

+ married someone who could go to the toilet without my assistance.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:28, Reply)

someone who could go to
without my assistance
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:30, Reply)

fucking get a grip Frank

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:30, Reply)

Well, that too.
Obviously.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:33, Reply)

jezebel.com/5987888/if-you-want-a-more-thoughtful-boyfriend-try-pegging-him
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:44, Reply)

www.amazon.ca/Hand-Bush-Fine-Vaginal-Fisting/dp/1890159026
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:47, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/Christian-A.-Turner/e/B00739NG4S
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:13, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kWAoz9DJvMg
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:45, Reply)

Sorry Battered, but I'm a fatalist
You take the cards you're dealt and you play them in the way that seems right at the time.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 20:40, Reply)

I donno, all the things that are in my control I'm alright with.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:07, Reply)

Such as your dietary choices and the resulting effects?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:07, Reply)

Yeah', exactly. What food I consume is fine for my medical conditions.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:18, Reply)

'Fine' in the sense that it'll guarantee regular attacks of the splatterfarts?
Gonz, you knows I loves you but for the love of god, occasionally eat something that isn't brown, grey or deep fried.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:31, Reply)

Everyone knows green food is bad for you.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:37, Reply)

The green food in Gonz's house is anyway.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:39, Reply)

Dreadful bullying of the Great Hebrew Arsefail.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:09, Reply)

I'd have put a bit more effort in at school and gone for an engineering apprenticeship.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:10, Reply)

everything you just said sign on the dole and sit round wanking into a cocked hat all day
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:16, Reply)

That would probably have led to the same result.
alright Frank
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:19, Reply)

alright fatty fat fat fatty lardy porky hambeast horrorbag gothapotamus fatso the morbidly obese lard monster from beyond the fridge
/ac
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:22, Reply)

How's things Mr Woodside?
Good move or not?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:29, Reply)

alright The Disappointed
So far it's excellent. Learning lots of new stuff, my last job served as good solid groundwork, and there seems to be little if any political bollocks or needless convolution here.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:36, Reply)

Good.
I've got to blow a bit of gaz cover here, but as you know I know your new gaffer and she's good. And a MILF.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:41, Reply)

Breaking news - brought to you by Kermit the Frog
Queen will not visit Swansea tomorrow.

Official version - not well

Unnofficial version - Doesn't want to meet that Cavy off b3ta
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:36, Reply)

she's got bum parasites, said so on the news

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:38, Reply)

She's certainly got four parasitic children.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:41, Reply)

Three.
Charles lives very well on rent money for most of Cornwall which - by some oversight - isn't taxed.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 21:44, Reply)

I'd be a motherfucking blue whale wizard who could fly and shoot lasers from my massive spiral whale cock.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:08, Reply)

I'd totally shit down your blowhole

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:12, Reply)

or blow down your shithole
your choice
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:14, Reply)

Both of these options sound pretty awesome.
I'm definitely going to come back as a flying blue whale wizard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:20, Reply)

two Franks one blowhole

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:24, Reply)

Yes!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 22:35, Reply)