some questions from a team "ice breaker" I'm going to tomorrow
1. What is your biggest fear?
2. What is your proudest achievement?
3. Have you ever had a run in with the law?
4. Tell us your weirdest celebrity crush?
5. What is the worst lie you have ever told?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:14, 53 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Where's the fucking question?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Where do you see yourself in five years time?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

This is quite interesting.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21954779
Yes it is interesting, and yes it is a cool story.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Until your shirt eats you inside out. ..

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

See through clothes eh?

( Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I like the word 'invaginations'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

noun
[mass noun] chiefly Anatomy & Biology
the action or process of being turned inside out or folded back on itself to form a cavity or pouch.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:23, Reply)

What does it score in scrabble?

( Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Game over, instant win.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:27, Reply)

that's why bellybutton fluff doesn't really exist
it's a ... wait for it .. pigment of the invagination
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:26, Reply)

jokes

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:29, Reply)

1. Doing a splatterfart and finding I've shit out half my intestines
2. I did a wee really high up the wall once
3. Yes
4. Don Estelle
5. Of course I'll respect you and remember your name in the morning
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

The answer to all 5 is "Naked Ape"
in other news it seems Frank has me on ignore 2.0, which made the last thread a bit odd to say the least.
Don't remember upsetting him, though?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

i think you bored him to death

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Frank's greatest fear is massive great big ham hands.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

oh nice

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

If it was work based I don't think I'd answer most of these.
Maybe the first 2, maybe. is it just me or is this just too intrusive?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

we're all pretty happy go lucky here, shouldn't be an issue

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

yeah, cos the office bloke who nearly got done for rape but the case got dropped for lack of evidence is really going to own up to that one

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

haha, like rape's real

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

they're all pretty happy go lucky here
I'm still not telling them any of this shit. than again I'm lucky enough to work in a place that doesn't do'ice breakers' or 'team building' they rely on weird notions like treating their staff like human beings to foster company loyalty and cohesiveness.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:41, Reply)

1. Become self aware and realising I am a sad sad wanker with a shit sex life who spends more time on this fucking website than anything else.
2. I chopped off a pimps honda accord with my cup of tea.
3. A police man once told me off for riding my bike with no hands
4. Diane Youdale but thats not weird so there you go
5. I once told my wife I was taking the kids to the park but I took them to the reccy next to the park to watch the rugby.
( Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

In Swindon a 'reccy' is an erection.
Just sayin'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:27, Reply)

1. This is a shit thread.
2. This is a shit thread.
3. This is a shit thread.
4. This is a shit thread.
5. This is a shit thread.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

yeah i know, but i was bored of the last one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

those are some weird things to be asking your colleagues. bizarre.
1 - spiders
2 - work
3 - yes, i won
4 - michael barrymore
5 - i never ever tell lies, not even on /qotw. been told a few whoppers though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

1. Being found out
2. Not being found out.
3. Not so far.
4. I can't answer this for fear of being found out.
5. The whole web of deceit I have had to weave in order to not get found out.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

1. being forced to go on a team "ice breaker"
2. I'm the hardest man on the island
3. Many, none of which have resulted in so much as a caution /middleclasswhiteperson
4. Ritchie Blackmore's wife
5. My answer to question 4
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Ahem

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:29, Reply)

NO POSTING PICTURES OF YOURSELF

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

OF YOURSELF
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

I read a great exchange on the facebook the other day.
Someone posted a link to Kershaw's autobiography, which garnered a reference to this 'difficult' period in his life.
Then the man himself waded in with this:
"Bob Morley - You seem to presume an expertise on what happened to me and my children on the IoM more intimate than my own. I suggest you be very careful about what you say, anywhere, on this matter without a full command of the facts - not a tabloid understanding of it. Otherwise, via lawyers, I will come down on you like a ton of bricks."
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

'....for you see, I am the hardest man on the island.'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:37, Reply)

what's Iom
who is Kershaw?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Isle of Man
ex-Radio 1 DJ, 'heir to John Peel' and hardest man on the island Andy Kershaw, pictured above
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

can't see pictures innit
so waht did happen to him on the IoM, is this a wicker man type of thing?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Not quite.
He was an abusive drunk who terrorised his former wife, resulting in his being banned from the island entirely. In the trancripts of one of his calls, he made the aforementioned 'hardest man' claim. I found - and indeed still find - this to be extremely 'LOL'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Oooooooooooooooooh
1. Going blind, which has made my sex life very dull
2. Rawkus probably
3. Hehehe. Yes. But I'm not telling you cunts.
4. Daniel Graves
5. "I can't think of one"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

is it Ross Kemp?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

oh wait, you answered 4
I still reckon you fancy Ross Kemp though, just because
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:36, Reply)

He's got about as much hair as Ross Kemp

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:41, Reply)

6. If you were a type of flower, how would you kill yourself?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

What a prick post this has turned out to be

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:37, Reply)

I've done a new one.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

1. One day when I'm in the shower the bathroom floor will collapse
2. I drew a really good picture of Donald Duck being Captain America once
3. Not really, no
4. Jonathon Rhys Meyers
5. My Uncle was in Showaddywaddy
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

My Uncle Showaddywaddy
Showaddywaddy My Uncle
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Wait....which Uncle do you mean?
Because there's one where this might be true.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

the faggotty one

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

I met the singer from Showaddywaddy once.
He's dead now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)

being fisting
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

1. Making a complete tit of myself
Like just now, when I thought I was quids in with my pound coin that had 'DNUOP ENO' printed on it. "Cor! it's backwards!" I proclaimed like some retarded Bash Street Kid. I shared my good news with the bloke sat next to me who was good enough to rotate the coin 180 degrees and refrain from calling me a big spastic.

2. Getting a 147 on QuickSnooker
3. Yes, I was caught walking on empty market stalls and got my details taken. Black affronted so I was.
4. No
5. I do*


*and this
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

1. Death
2. I was rather proud of the Yearbook I put together in Year 11, managed to get printing costs to the penny for it and everything, all I needed was permission off the teachers. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to be in the meeting where it was requested, and so they had someone else try to present it. She was shit, thought it shouldn't be done, and completely discouraged any support. Bitch.
3. Yes, but only as a victim/idiot.
4. Devon Aoki
5. "I love you too"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

topless pic of Devon Aoki linked for NSFW reasons
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)