Here's something for Gonz:
www.surrogatetherapy.org/what-is-surrogate-partner-therapy/
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:39, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Isn't it just called 'prostitution'?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)

But he might be able to get it on the NHS

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)

I saw a programme about virgins on telly with those
as part of it I saw a fat man swimming breaststroke, and on every stroke he shouted FANNIES, TITS, WILLIES etc
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)

There was a backlash to that.
Someone found out he wasn't actually a virgin, but was an actor. Then the company had to backtrack and say the cases they featured were representative or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)

you what?
They hired a guy to pretend to be a virgin with tourettes? I mean, that's low isn't it?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)

I feel a bit cheated out of the wank I had over that programme now :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)

There's no such thing as a bad wank.
Probably.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Oh of course not.
I mean, even if you get caught you're still going to finish off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

I think it's probably easier for a woman to pull up short than it is for a man.
Once you get distracted it's very hard to catch up again.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Yeah well you lot are used to not finishing, aren't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)

I just find it incredibly lazy,
i could wander round the town centre here and pick out enough amsuingly tragic people to make a TV show out of, and these meeja types in london are so lazy they get someone to pretend to be a pathetic life waste?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Or just log on here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)

THIS MAN GETS IT !!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

I was in M&S earlier today
and they were having some kind of publicity photos taken or something. They asked me if I would mind having my photo taken while I was buying something, as they needed some pictures of customers.

As you can imagine, I said no.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

why?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

They were S&M photos

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

Why the publicity photos?
Probably having a website redesign, or doing new catalogues or something.

Why did I say no?
because I feel (and look) like shit today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)

maybe they wanted you for the before shot.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)

heh heh heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)

If the fat swimming wanker scored with the prozzy on C4's books, then i'd say he's a winner.
He aint' gettin' laid any other way.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

yeah, but how good a lay would it have to be
for you to not care about being an object of ridicule on national TV?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)

All I know is, i've been rediculed on TV, and all my lays have been average at best.
So I'm probably not the best to answer that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

when you say all, does that mean two ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)

also where does Pickle Fairy come in this Pantheon of lays ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)

His left hand and his right hand.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Depends on if you count her staying over 'till the next morning or running out the house crying and you finishing yourself off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Following the Gonz love diaries, there were some enormous hippocrocobeast in Cyprus and Pickle Fairy, and then the trail of semen runs cold
fess up, no others?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)

You seem to be taking a worrying amount of interest in Gonz's love life.
I know you've lost Cavy, but surely there are other people to move on to?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)

he's always moaning about his lack of poon, ID LIKE TO KNOW SOME DETAILS IF THATS OK BY YOU

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)

I don't reckon I complain about it that much.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:23, Reply)

C'mon now, why spoil a good bit of story for the sake of nonfictional gossip?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:22, Reply)

I don't know what this means, but I'll infer that it's two not out at this stage

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)

There's been more than two

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:26, Reply)

and less than four?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)

I watched that programme.
Had I known that, I probably wouldnt have found it quite so funny.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)

What lead you to find that?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)

He ran out of prossies in Poland
and wanted to find an alternative source.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)

Bloody Polish coming over here using our NHS to lose their viginity

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)

The subject was mentioned in Dan Savage's column.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

That seems to be a clever shiny way of being a pimp, hiring out your whores and getting the client to pay you direct

( Peej, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

It's also a sneaky way for old, unattractive blokes to get their leg over
by pretending to care about 'helping' female first timers, who - let's face it - aren't going to know whether they're getting a good deal or not.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

oh Mr B3th :((

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)