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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How do you think Battered broke his foot
Test driving a Tonka, wrestling an Action Man or jumping over a dolls house?

Consider this thread the Battered's Broken Bones Book Of Condolence.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:46, 64 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Ha ha.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:47, Reply)
we have a laugh here.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)

laugh ids
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
If it helps, I found that the pain lessened after they removed the cast, and strapped it up.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
I'm hoping they will do that at a fracture clinic in a few days time.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I broke my ankle once
I feel your pain B
I FEEL YOUR PAIN
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
did he maybe do it kicking a prostitute to death?
You know, I'm not a fan of the prostitute thing, I prefer the short thing, but couldn't think of a short thing.

Wait, he did it stubbing his toe on a duplo brick.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Maybe work an epilepsy angle in there?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
nah, leave some for everyone else.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Horror tackle from behind at Subbuteo

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
woah check 'em

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Borrower kicked him off the curly-wurly ladder

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)
he did it whilst choking on a sock

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Like this

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Dopey dropped his pickaxe again.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
I bashed the foot on the bedpost the other night. Had'nt got any better so got checked. Flying to Poland next week may be problematic

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Nice one 'Lonnie Donegan'

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Running for a bus the other day perhaps wasn't the best idea with hindsight.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Errr, yes.
Oops.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I'm just concerned about how I will get to the pub and back

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
They might do mercy drops of pints for you.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Dropped on to my foot with my luck.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Surely you'll be able to get on the plane before everyone else?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Why would I be getting on a plane?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Fool!

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
oops, replyfail
meant Battered
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
NEWS JUST IN
Lighty's bald. It looks alright actually.

MESSAGE ENDS
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
haha, yeah

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)
He looks like Walter White

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Are you lurking on facebook?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Fuck off am I.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
I sent him a photo
I'm nice like that
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Ah I see.
Your bald pate was all over my news feed around the same time Monty posted that.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
but can't we just click on your name and see your shaggy headed visage?
CONFUSE
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)

m.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/apr/18/drug-users-taken-advantage-sexually
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
I wondered why Bartleby texted me asking for pills.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Are you suggesting I look like a junkie?
More importantly, are you suggesting this will get me taken advantage of sexually?
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I was suggesting one in five b3tans aisre taken andvantage sexually after 5am couch lol

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Sorry I is suggesting.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I are suggesting.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I think if we all agree to replace both with your portmanteau word aisre, we won't have any more disagreements

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:30, Reply)
I aisregree

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:31, Reply)
He looks ok. For Lighty.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Sorry you broke your foot Battered
I've just been shaved bald.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Is today Bald Thursday too?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
IT IS NOW!

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I'm way off trend here :(

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I keep growing hair instead of losing it
I'm shit at bald thursdays :(
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Good stuff. How long since you've had short hair?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
About 25 years

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
So not since you were 30 then.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:26, Reply)
? whats gone off now?
Typical I get busy for an hour or so and miss out :(
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I'm bald and Battered is broken

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Nice for one not so nice for the other
How much did you raise?
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
$407 personally (it's on a US site but collecting for a UK charity)
and about £6k on the team site which doesn't split it up by person. Not that it's a competition or anything BUT I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE WON.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Don't mention this to Monty
you may give him some ideas
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:30, Reply)
There was a big fight over misuse of grammar, Battered kicked Stunned and broke his foot.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Yeah one saw the grammar Malarcky
Is Batts trying to commit suicide? I hear that Stunned is quite a big fella
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Stunned is about 7' tall and 30 stone.

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Come on what have you done to your foot?

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:29, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1937909
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:40, Reply)
But if you can just keep out of reach for 90 seconds he runs out of breath

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Battered has gout, too?
I didn't realise it was contagious. Sorry, mate.
(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:30, Reply)
It is definitely all your fault

(, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 14:43, Reply)

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