So great 20 mins over here
I have an important clinet meeting on Monday that I had just confirmed, now I have to cancel to go to a different meeting and I'll get shouted at.

Then I asked my wife what we're up over a weekend in the summer as I have a stag invite...turns out it's mini ape's bday.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:53, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hahaha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)

It's only come up once for me to remeber before!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I'll wager you'll remember it next year now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

she won't though!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

Mini ape or Mrs Van Damme?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

mini ape
Mrs Van Damme has the memory of Deep Blue
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

She'll be old enough to enjoy it this year though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Say the following
"look love, the rat's never going to remember, it's barely alive. I can afford to skip one stupid kid's party with screaming brats to go on the lash with the lads."

Then pat on her the arse, give her a fiver and suggest she buys something low cut.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)

It's not just your cardigan that made it out of the 70s

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)

^ This guy knows women

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)

you should have your own help column in the SUN

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Say this to your wife.
Whilst technically applicable, doing this to your child will raise eyebrows.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)

eyebrows pans full of boiling water/fat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

20 miles away with the 30 metre ethernet cable.
Are you related to Benny Hill at all?
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)

what are you on about?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Your stories remind me of the opening sequence
where they'd all follow each other around and fall over and stuff.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

no the 20 miles away and cable
I don't see how that is relevant here
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Referencing more stupid Nakers stuff, that's all.

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

oh, ok

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Oh Nakers, you bent spastic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

i think I'm in trouble
she kept emailing saying, you know what's going on and I kept saying "you know I don't do dates adn diaries and shit"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

Oh dear
Prepare for the evening of silence
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)

we have friends coming over, which is annoying as I would leave now, enjoy a little sun and work later tonight
but now I can't. Stupid friends, who needs em eh? Not Kronely
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)

That's right, man.
I'm a lone wolf, me. Going everywhere stag, never being tied down. None of that lovey dovey shit for me I'm OH GOD HOLD ME
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

shhhhhhh, let it all out, it'll be o-k

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)

He should go out drinking til 3am.
From experience, she'll be so fucked off with him pissing in the bath and singing that birthdaygate shall be forgotten in an instant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Hahahaha
You've probably never seen Shameless, but you're like the dad in that.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

textbook

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)

I have precisely the same problems with Lusty, she won't mind me saying.
SHE is utterly appalled by my cavalier attitude to dates and timescales. As far as I'm concerned everything past about 1997 is 'recent' and that's about it. I know which months my parents' birthdays are in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)

my wife knows every one of her friends birthdays and there are fucking loads of them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

That's some 'Rain Man' shit right there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

ironically she's not a very good driver

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

It took me three years to remember the ex's birthday.

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Really, unless you are a child, who gives a toss anyway?
It's just weird.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

The ex, as it turned out.

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)

HOW WERE YOU TO KNOW????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)

I know, right?
I've I'd known there was something important to remember, I'd have remembered it and I wouldn't have got into that mess in the first place.

It's alright though, she wasn't all that.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)

It's not your fault you hit her, either.
let's be clear on that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:23, Reply)

why do you need to know your ex's birthday?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

He has a sympathy wank once a year

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)

I'm just going to start ignoring you when you go a-trollololing

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)

ffs don't do that
there'd be nothing left here
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)

look how much better it is here now I've made my clients and wife angry eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:15, Reply)

It's certainly replaced the work I was doing before.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)

i'd have thought her bigger problem would be with you outing her as a "he"...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

too late now
i shall be checking her chin for beardage next time i see her
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)

:o(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)

The reason he is in trouble though, is that he'd still rather go on the stag do.
I suspect you get in trouble with Lusty for similar reasons.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

not true actually, especially if it's a weekend away, I'm already paying for two of those fucking this year
which will be the best part of a grand
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Word to the wise: if she tells you she thinks you should go
Don't do it. It is a trap.

/something about starwars
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)

But the stag is on the forest moon of endor!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)

oh n o, she said I should go to Amsterdam, and said she wanted me to enjoy it...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:23, Reply)

You are in SO much trouble.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:25, Reply)

IT'S A TRAP

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:25, Reply)

It's your own fault for keep trying to hit that lower exhaust port

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:26, Reply)

10/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:27, Reply)

10/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:27, Reply)

10/ANDREW MARR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:29, Reply)

dude, SHE LIES

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Nah I am just fucking hopeless.
'Remember we're (insert name of thing which actually really good) on Sunday'

'sure'

brain: DELETE
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)

I am exactly the same.
Exactly.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)

also becasue the iwfe is so organised, I completely reply on her and have even less idea of whats going on when

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)

She probably found this endearing once.
The bitter resentment is slowly gestating though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:15, Reply)

slowly?
It drives her fuckinf mad. We have been together for more tha 10 years, yoiu think she'd be used to my little foibles
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)

little foibles rage-inducing uselessness.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:19, Reply)

yeah that, is sometimes an issue

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)