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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Is it any good? Only I really need new coasters.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 18:54, 37 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:24, Reply)

( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:32, Reply)

and some old twat of an "uncle", you know the kind that isn't really related, thought this was appropriate to write in a child's autograph book:
albums are green
albums are blue
but in africa (where i come from)
all bums are black
my mum ripped the page out.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:34, Reply)

he once bought me a book of shakespeare sonnets, which was nice.
until he gave me the same book 2 years later.
and then AGAIN.
i now suspect he may have gotten them free with petrol or something.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:36, Reply)

my dad made me laugh though. "have you read any of them before?" he enquired genially, as he passed me the book for the third time.
"twice," my dad muttered.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:41, Reply)

She never wears a watch.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:43, Reply)

Fortunately the horrific car accident he was in not long after swayed things a bit for him.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:45, Reply)

Swerved to avoid a deer, hit a post, car ended up on its side, seatbelt clicked open on impact and he ended up pressed against the (smashed) side window sliding along the road with a back full of gravel and glass.
Lucky to be alive, really.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 20:08, Reply)

i wrote my dad's car off at 90mph on the motorway once. all 4 of us walked out without even a scratch or whiplash. it was about 15 years ago and i still dream about it. poor bastard, he was doubtless much less to blame, and much less lucky.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 20:11, Reply)

Had the car not hit the post and been deflected, he would have gone over what was effectively a cliff edge. So he got lucky.
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 20:13, Reply)

or whatever they call a fucking idiots minimal run. Anyways he's robbed his kids of a descent holiday, or even some extra curricular lessons so they don't end up as thick as him, no qualifications and trapped in coventry for teh rest of their miserable lives. At least they'll have twenty pressings each of some karaoke simon and garfunkle
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:24, Reply)

bring your missus round and I'll do her for a monkey though, mates rates and all that
( , Mon 29 Apr 2013, 19:28, Reply)
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