you bunch of fucking wankers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 21:45, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You tell 'em, Dozer.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)

you're the worst of the pricking lot

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 21:48, Reply)

You're just mad that I can see over your head.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 21:52, Reply)

Alright droopy?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 29 May 2013, 21:56, Reply)

You and your panoptic eye.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 21:58, Reply)

I’m glad we can always count on you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:07, Reply)

Alright Dozer?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:46, Reply)

yer Davverz
Alright.


Do you know the answer to HH's puzzler? I'd say 167 quid, that seems right, but I'm shit at maths. It's an internet victory for the double H, it doesn't happen often.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:47, Reply)

I haven't.
Frankly, I have no desire to go wading back through this thread, soz and all that. I don't do maths after 10.30.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)

Davro did you see that delete?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:51, Reply)

No-one cares about the delete, only you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)

No, because it was deleted and I've just got here.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)

It was more tedious than a Pooflake novel.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)

I like Pooflake.
There, I said it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)

I Like Pooflake
The stories in the past have put loads of smiles on my face
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:59, Reply)

I'm sure he's pleasant enough in person but he's a tedious purveyor of doggerel.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:01, Reply)

yer, deleted all that because it's nobbish and boring.
Even more so than usual.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:49, Reply)

WTCHOMPY

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:50, Reply)

Chompy?
That's harsh, even for you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:51, Reply)

GP vs %

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)

AARGH!
YOU SAID 'IF I WANTED TO MAKE A GP OF 67%"!!!!!!!!

One is cash, the other is a percentage! You work in sales, I work in regulated financial advice! I can do percentages! I don't want to unless I absolutely have to! I certainly don't want to do anything even approaching 'work' when I'm not being paid to!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:54, Reply)

sales?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:55, Reply)

I don't know, I don't really care.
Purchasing, building trade.

Acksherley, I suppose purchasing is the opposite of sales.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)

You almost get it
Poor Grace
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)

I have no interest in the minutiae of your job.
I doubt you have any interest in portfolio construction, Conduct of Business or marketing compliance. It's dull enough without discussing it out of hours.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)

Mudhoney did a little known Dozer tribute single you know.
"Sliding Grace In And Out"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)

Ha!
I have Superfuzz Bigmuff on a tape somewhere.

I used to love that west coast stuff when I was a nipper.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:03, Reply)

I saw them a couple of times in the late 80's / early 90's.
Good live act, especially in a 400 capacity venue. Mental.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:04, Reply)

I really like them.
Would like to have seen them back then, but if I'd gone to see them in 1992 I'd've been 12.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:05, Reply)

You poor, young chap.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:11, Reply)

I was into Faith No More and Red Hot Chili Peppers at that age.
Didn't get into Mudhoney until I was 14 or so.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:14, Reply)

Evening.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:55, Reply)

Yee can fook off an' all.
Evening Jeff. How's you and the doris?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)

Good thanks.
Things chipper in the north?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)

Reasonably.
Off to see a recruitment company tomorrow. Hopefully something'll come from it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:58, Reply)

Fingers crossed.
Just remember that all recruitment companies are staffed by shit-cunts and you'll be fine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)

I shall quote this tomorrow.
Thanks Jeff, you've rescued my career!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:02, Reply)

If you really want to get them onside, ask them if - when they grow up - they'd still love to be an estate agent.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:04, Reply)

*Takes notes*
Any other nuggets you'd care to share? Also, how's your contract hunting going?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:06, Reply)

It will start properly in the next month.
Whilst I might stay where I am, I need to start planning as I'm only signed on until the start of July.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:07, Reply)

You should look again at Leeds.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:07, Reply)

Money goes further in the North, but it's more of a ballache than either staying in Bristol or
Using the M4/London.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:11, Reply)

Rent out your current gaff and rent somewhere in Leeds.
It's cheap enough.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:12, Reply)

I'd agree with this, it's not the backwater most people imagine.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:12, Reply)

Well, some of it is.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:16, Reply)

Put the people there, they talk funny.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:18, Reply)

Southerners type funny.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:19, Reply)

Oh yeah.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:20, Reply)

Conventry is the place to be at TRUFAX

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:21, Reply)

You missed Dozer having an Eppy fit over numbers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)

I'm not good with that sort of thing. Only got a 2 in my standard grade maths.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)

Yeah, you meant 3, right?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 22:59, Reply)

LOLZ

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:03, Reply)

A 3? General rather than Credit?
How dare you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:03, Reply)

I'm a cunt, didn't you know that?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:05, Reply)

Hardly.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:06, Reply)

Damn, you got me there.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:13, Reply)

Don't forget we are also a.....
bunch of fucking wankers"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:11, Reply)

You're taking it to heart, harters.
I refer you to DG's post on the pooflake meltdown where he explains to EmVee that there's a difference between how people are online and how they are IRL (in most cases anyway). I may have typed those words, but I didn't actually mean them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:13, Reply)

8D

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:17, Reply)

But you seem to have thought they were aimed directly at you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:18, Reply)

Do you think so?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:22, Reply)

Dunno.
Did you? I don't really care one way or another. You seem to go out of your way to get irritated by me. You choose to do that, you know?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:26, Reply)

I like you copperknob
If I didn't I wouldn't respond
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:28, Reply)

tee hee
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:29, Reply)

I don't care.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:29, Reply)

YES............YES YOU DO
In some smallway you crave for admiration and acceptation
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:35, Reply)

Sounds like a 1980s painting kit
Eppy By Numbers.

What happened?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 22:58, Reply)

Massive delete
When he said I couldn't count to 10 I asked a simple math question
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)

What question did you ask?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:01, Reply)

GP over %

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:02, Reply)

75% of GP's couldn't give a flying fuck about the health of their patients, yeah?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:03, Reply)

Tee hee
I like this
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:05, Reply)

It's sad because I've experienced this IRL.
I may be exaggerating a bit, but when you know someone who's had 2 bouts of breast cancer and then goes to the quacks complaining about chest and rib pains for 9 months before the doctor connects the dots and concedes it might just be more than the heavy lifting she does in her job, then you have to wonder about his dedication to the job. Not suggesting that he was close to retirement at here and couldn't give a monkey's, but yes, I am.

The 75% is a lol stat plucked from the air, btw.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:10, Reply)

that's one of things that kills our great NHS
The world envy us for it, but we live with it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:16, Reply)

to be fair HH, your question was about GP as a %. Not versus %.
I think your promotion was in breach of the fair, clear and not misleading guidelines.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:04, Reply)

I can't count to 10 so how would I know?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:07, Reply)

Exactly.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:08, Reply)

DELETE SOME MORE DOZER THIS IS FUNNY

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:09, Reply)

Nothing is funny.
Certainly not you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:10, Reply)

There's not enough autism on this thread

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:40, Reply)

*.19.18.7.1

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:41, Reply)

YAY \o/
*deploys sensory tuning*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:42, Reply)

Lolz I'm trying but I may need to go to bed soon

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:43, Reply)

Is that better

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:42, Reply)

Infinitely!
Thanks dude
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:44, Reply)

Your welcome
Dozer will be angry cry wanking to to your comments from now on....


Should leave you two alone?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:46, Reply)

Heehee
Nah, safety in numbers innit ;)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:49, Reply)

My time is almost up, early start and all

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:51, Reply)

Metro, Montego, Princess, Allegro.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:44, Reply)

Sorry, thought you said Austin.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:45, Reply)

I thought you was all about the Rover

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:47, Reply)

I'm takin' it to the Max(i)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:48, Reply)

*hides the Corgi cars*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:49, Reply)

I like it all aggro...
/coat
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:51, Reply)

All Austins...
LOL I'm losing it - took me a good 28 seconds to *get* that :D
Alright Jeff m'love?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:47, Reply)

Good thanks.
How the devil are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:48, Reply)

*lifts pint*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:52, Reply)

You mean SHIRT

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:54, Reply)

:(
no one will have me
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:56, Reply)

*raises wine glass*
/all intentions of an early-ish night go out of the window - I'd quite forgotten how much I like b3ta *looks for semi-fluffed Werthers Original which is stuck to the carpet and covered in dog hair*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:57, Reply)

Noncing sweets!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:58, Reply)

Quite canny thanks
albeit out of practice on here ;)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:54, Reply)

DG mentioned the 'watered down' cider.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:55, Reply)

That's cos I'm a cunt.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 May 2013, 23:57, Reply)

You should be a recruitment agent with a sideline in property sales.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:58, Reply)

\o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:59, Reply)

I cunt count to 10

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:58, Reply)

I cunt do that too but only on my fingers ;)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:02, Reply)

Oh yeah...
The Death Cider at a mate's gig thing that *wasn't* watered down as I'd proclaimed after the first two pints. 8 pints later I was bending like a bent spastic on ritalin :P
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:01, Reply)

Feeling a bit poorly the following day were we?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:04, Reply)

Surprisingly not bad at all actually...
... it's just struck me - has that reasonable bastard been calling me a poof on this internet? :D
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:08, Reply)

Yeah. And he said you like Korma.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:11, Reply)

That's way below the belt!
I've upgraded to Kashmiri ffs the abhorrent, reasonable blighter that he is *fumes*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:17, Reply)

He also said your favourite football team was managed by Jossie Blair.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:23, Reply)

Football's just a game of science

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:26, Reply)

You know it Tangles!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:32, Reply)

But I don't even like football!
That is SO below the belt - we're talking lower than whale shit here. Still, better than Joey Deacon, eh?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:27, Reply)

He also said he leaves his dirty socks on the floor for a bit of a laugh
And that when he makes you a cuppa, he only half-heatedly squeezes the tea-bag against the side of the cup, he finished that by said, 'if she wants a proper brew, she can make it herself'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:34, Reply)

What a tinker!
Showing his true colours on here though, ergo shooting himself in the foot regarding his Reasonable Nice Guy persona. PFFT!
That's it, I'm looking into grounds for divorce first thing in the morning. Night night Jeff x
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:48, Reply)

Who wants a fight?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 23:59, Reply)

Dozer will fight you.
He said you wear a bra.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:00, Reply)

LACEY bra what was he said

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:02, Reply)

you seem more like a lover

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:01, Reply)

Want to see my bra?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:02, Reply)

Gaz it to Battered he needs it more than I do

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:04, Reply)

He did get married today in France.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:02, Reply)

IRL LOLZ

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:04, Reply)

GAY Paris

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:06, Reply)

Fighting is common.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:13, Reply)

So undignified.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:15, Reply)

it's like playing 'pool'
A vulgar pastime enjoyed by the lower orders.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 0:19, Reply)