This is the gayest and shittest thing on this site:
/FAQs:

How do I fucking swear?

While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:

Portmanteau: twat + cunt = twunt. Can you think of your own?

Animal combos: cock-badger and kitten-flaps have been found to be most effective.

Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker."

I think I actually really fucking hate b3ta.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:34, 79 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

+ *Dons Jeans and T-shirt, puffs out chest*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:36, Reply)

You...you fastic* wee-wee tapir!!!


*fucking + spastic = fastic!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Yeah well you're a Pish Farcel

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

wee-wee tapir is an absolutely outstanding fucking swear.
Don't ever criticise it again.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I have seen it used but never really got what it means

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:40, Reply)

It's a satirical use of the swear+animal style of b3ta

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

it's just a piss-take of the idea that combining a swear with an animal is funny.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:42, Reply)

I just tried to think of the shittest one possible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Hartley Hare?
Nah, hartley isn't a swear.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

this^
ULTIMATE PUTDOWN
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Cock off you cocking fucksucker
etc
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I'm managed to get quite angry about this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Clearly.

(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:40, Reply)

well, you COULD always DYAAKY.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Yeah well you're an irosser*!!!!

*irritating + tosser = irosser!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that's a car in "teenage dirtbag" by Wheatus.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:42, Reply)

This song is known as Teenage Werepig amongst my mates
Why that is the case has been lost to beer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:44, Reply)

I actually possess a cover of this song by Girls Aloud
why yes, yes I am.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Goodness me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:50, Reply)

the second sentence is in reference to my sig
in case you hadn't guessed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Forse

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I get this.

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:44, Reply)

The most annoying one I've seen so far
is "shitcockery", which I think is supposed to mean acting the dick.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I only signed up for the omgzaneee wackiness :'(

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Just fucking swear properly you bunch of cunts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I knew I liked you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:42, Reply)

My Tourettes has been carefully moulded over the years
TWATFUCKCUNTSHITARSE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:43, Reply)

TWARSE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Calm down you clit-camel

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Spoken like a true wapir

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:43, Reply)

ahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I'm pretty sure a wapir is one of Jonathan Ross's swords.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:47, Reply)

wol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Pfft...
Office lols really don't cut it when your in on your own.
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Foreveh Kronley

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Fonely

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Much easier to call people cunts.
You cunt.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:43, Reply)

It's funny how things which were HILARIOUS years ago don't seem to be now.

(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:45, Reply)

yeah alright savile

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:46, Reply)

In other newsy am eating KFC. Diiiirrrrttttyyyyy

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:46, Reply)

It has its place.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Yeah
IN MY GOB! LOL!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Now I have Christina Aguilera going around my head.
Which isn't as bad as it could be.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:52, Reply)

She's on my 'blondes I would' list.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:09, Reply)

She'll be so flattered to hear.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:12, Reply)

She already knows.
Hence the court order.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I fancy pie and chips for lunch.
If I get this, I will eat about three chips before I remember that eating a large pile of fried potato is actually disgusting. But I still fancy it.

Work that out, internet!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I think I've got the answer
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1421483
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Your body's craving carbohydrates
To put it simply, you're 'cravohydrating'
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:57, Reply)

*polite applause*

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:57, Reply)

'Polplause', shirley?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:58, Reply)

*polause*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:58, Reply)

*MARRplause*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:59, Reply)

This is how I fwear
You're so behind the times, Monce. Everyone's portmanteau'ing these days, to fit in with their busy lifestyles. We don't have a second to spare.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Actually, the most irritating phrase ever
is "oh my lady gaga", the acronym of which is "omlg", which you may recognise if you've got Darth on your FB.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:57, Reply)

No the most irritating phrase is
'Time at the bar'.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:59, Reply)

'Tar'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Oh fuck off tell me you made this up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Fotup?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Even I am not capable of making up such horror

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:01, Reply)

you love it really
why else would you start a thread in which people will inevitably call you a flange chihuahua
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Platyminge.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Bollock Porpoise

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:16, Reply)

arf.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:19, Reply)

he's a botty giraffe

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Sphincterhorse

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Quimster.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Urethrachimp

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:17, Reply)

FALLOPIAN TUBE KANGAROO MOUSE

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:18, Reply)

now you're getting it.
You utter willy marmoset.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Cervix chinchilla

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Partially on topic
I was bored and put twunt into google has anyone seen this before?

www.twukulele.com/
(Shamelesspendant Better dead then smeg., Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)