I was brought up to believe that talking about money is vulgar.
Splitting restaurant bills in any way other than bill plus tip divided by number of people is the height of poor form etc. The idea of haggling turns my stomach.

As a result I haven't a pot to piss in, so 'thanks, parents'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:22, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

There's that and the whole 'unplanned baby by a nutter' thing that's contributing to your poor finances as well.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

that reminds me, where is battered, has he killed himself?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

he turned 40 yesterday and isn't feeling very well now

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Because he's realised that he's now on a downhill slide to the grave and he's utterly failed at his life?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Plus the MASSIVE DRUGS, the 3000+ records, the six guitars, the trainers and books collections.....


The blame rests squarely at my parents' door for all of this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

how many pairs of sneakers do you have?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Actually fewer than 25 pairs now, I got rid of fucking loads a few years ago

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

25 pairs?
I take it back, you're not a massive bent spastic, you're Swipe in a Hawkwind tshirt.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I used to have about 60 pairs at one point :o(
I'd buy doubles if they were reduced, to save for later. I still have 3 pairs of red on white Puma baskets to this very day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I read this in the style of Dozer :o((((

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Colin Prick is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:47, Reply)

*Plays canned Cufflink Jingles*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Anyone who owns more than one pair of trainers is a bent spastic.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Hang on....really?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:29, Reply)

*bent spastic fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Today marks a new low in the Life of Boyce.
:o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Cobblers
Got to have a least a pair for messing about in and a semi-smart pair.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

A good point. More than two is clearly a symptom of angled cerebral palsy related gigantism.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:32, Reply)

i have 4, 1 for running, 2 for casula wearing, 1 for DIY, gardening getting muckty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I've got 2 for hockey
1 for running. 2 for hillwalking/running. 4 for "going out"

Am I WTN?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:47, Reply)

oh god do you own those off road cross trainers
beloved of tourists who think they are going somewhere a bit rough, like Greece.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

what a cunt, eh readers?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:00, Reply)

facts on the internet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:02, Reply)

two pairs.
But then I'd climbed the 20 highest mountains in the UK before my 15th birthday, and I still climb and fellrun, so, y'know, probably acceptable.

I'm still a cunt, of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Yes
But you would have been WTN prior to your Trainer disclosure
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

YES.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I've got none.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:48, Reply)

none AIDS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:55, Reply)

You can get them free with mobile phones

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

none a large growth on the side of my neck caused by iron deficiency
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

none chills, they're multiplyin'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:59, Reply)

none a brand new combine harvester, I'll give you the key
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:00, Reply)

combine voucher for
key free bottle of Lambrini
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:01, Reply)

hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I was fine with that until the night some fucking bitch ordered 2 bottles of champagne, drank them both
and then the bill was split 18 ways. I had no idea they were going to do this, I was broke so didn't have a starter or dessert and ended up paying about three times what I expected. Fucking rich cunts.
( Peej, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:26, Reply)

My father pulled a similar stunt on my brother a few years ago,
he had the cheapest main course and one glass of wine, the old boy did his usual four courses, different wine per course etc. Bruv was livid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:29, Reply)

That's why I always order last and order the most expensive.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:45, Reply)

You're *quite* the catch!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:53, Reply)

it's this kind of thought process that led to the great chompy/swipe split of 2010

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I also had this happen on a hen night
ordered a £6 lasagne (during another period of joblessness) and was expected to pay £22. not a fucking chance.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:52, Reply)

The key is to be clear at the beggining if you must
don't get to the time for the bill and bitch and moan about it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:55, Reply)

This is correct.
Or just stay at home.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

the bank took it away :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:01, Reply)

bank electric board
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:03, Reply)