Picking up my kid at 7pm, get her home and off to bed then doing the fucking same thing myself, still feel like shit.
Tomorrow is *supposed* to be sunny so barbecue in the park if so, summat else if not.

I need ideas for my kid's birthday present folks. Her mum's getting her rollerskates, I will get a nice book and some old skool TV DVDs (for me as much as her), but I need suggestions for her main gift. She's got millions of soft toys because half her family are tasteless serfs, but she couldn't give a toss about them or any of the other plastic monstrosities they foist upon her at any given moment. I was thinking about a replica Lewis Chessmen chess set but she's five so that might be a bit cuntish. She does want to learn the game though.

Help a nigga out yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:13, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have a few idea's that may involve different types of timber

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:17, Reply)

Get her a bike. Or a shed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:20, Reply)

She has a bike. It's repulsive and pink.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Also saw this
Thought of you

imgur.com/a/VjLxI
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:33, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:34, Reply)

hahahahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Nahhhh seriously at the age of 5 one of my sons presents was a dinosaur archaeology set
It consisted of about 12 dinosaurs all encased in sand that came with a little hammer and chisel, he spent hours chiselling each one out then constructing the skeletons and further hours playing with them.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:22, Reply)

Ahhhhhhh, found it only £7 odd
www.purplepuffin.co.uk/gifts/toys-games-archaeology-for-kids-c-100093_9021.html

Why is it always the cheap toys they play with the most
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Because they're the only ones you get them because you're a parsimonious Jew?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:08, Reply)

:o
For the age group it really is an excellent present, they charge a hell of a lot more for them at the natural history museum
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:10, Reply)

*if Hartley was a rich man, dubba dubba dubba etc*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

I'm a gonna fiddle your rooftop, sonny jim

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:16, Reply)

YM conversely, is cheap as chips

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Yeah....well........errrrrmmmmmmm.......*brow creases*...........
I bet you can't even afford chips.........so there
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Avoid this horrifically messy toy - you'll be finding bits of gravel and sand all over your flat for weeks afterwards.
I still haven't forgiven the person who bought little tangle one of these.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Well it was over 10 years ago, it kept him occupied for hours
Well worth a bit of hovering*

*Hoovering
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Are you some kind of bird of prey?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Nahhhh Quints gave me a lift

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:23, Reply)

on the subject of birds
I know it shouldn't but this did make me laugh

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-23082846
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:28, Reply)

A copy of The Koran

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:24, Reply)

Or Mein Kampf.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:25, Reply)

She's got a signed copy already

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:31, Reply)

You could get a box of stuff from a craft store
Materials, pipe cleaners, glitter, that sort of thing

You both like making stuff together!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:26, Reply)

www.kidscraftbox.co.uk/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:28, Reply)

Nice idea
We've nearly finished our pirate ship now, couple of characters to go
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:29, Reply)

The haunted pirate ship on that website looks fucking awesome!
I can't see her wanting the princess craft shit, somehow... Ooooh make yourself a big pink plastic bent crown...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Fucking vile.
Having struggled to get her non-princessy stuff and frequently having to get so-called 'boys' stuff, I wonder if I should start a business selling non-gender-specific toys. Girls' stuff is dreadful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Clothes are the other way round though
Tonnes of shit for girls and 1 row of shirts for boys. And by 8, Christ my nephew is a designer poseur!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:42, Reply)

But again most of the girls' stuff is vile.
Gap do nice plain bright coloured girls' clothes but I need to get her a dress for when my father comes over and I am struggling big time to find one that's not either 80s waki or Nigerian wedding frills.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Boring I know, but have you tried m&s?
I got my friend's 4 year old a really beautiful red silky dress there, not girly, but v pretty. She was so thrilled, she insisted on sleeping with it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Actually I have.
I got what I thought was a v nice white cotton dress from there a week or two back but it didn't look right on her.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Obvious
her me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

-2/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:13, Reply)

:o(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Pottery wheel.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Interesting.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Messy and fun.
Like YM.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:00, Reply)

20 lambert and butler and a bottle of md 20/20

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

More seriously, I got my mates 7-year-old this:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0140312951

Turns out she absolutely loved it. Not really a main present, though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Poetry is for gays.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:22, Reply)

A five year old can play chess, she's a bright kid, isn't she?
Maybe get a cheap draughts set as well, as it's similar but simpler.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:14, Reply)

A bit like you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I don't understand

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I think he means you are very draughty because of your lentil-rich diet
bum draughts
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:05, Reply)

a caged ape

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:04, Reply)