monty - history teacher
battered - waiter
gonz - exotic food taster and toilet roll expert
stunned - sommelier
windy - shampoo model
kroney - mechanic
psychochomp - anything with no internet access
dozer - organ donor
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:26, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I don't do servitude.
I should be Prime Minister.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Yeah but you're supposed to debate over the dispatch box, not stand on it.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

i would pay good money to eat at any restaurant where you had to wait on
comedy GOLD
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

I would shit on your plate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

I bet she took an extra large plate to the buffet when her and chompy stayed over in the Travel Tavern

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

hang on a minute
the fleapit fuck was most definitely NOT me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course it wasn't.




( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)

hahahhahahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)

possibly kroney's finest moment:

Hah, yeah, if you want romance, take a stripper to a Travelodge.

(Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 13:32, More)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)

I missed this, lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)

it was a good zing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)

i am astounded that you like it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:48, Reply)

astounded that you like it

still a bent spastic

tee hee

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:50, Reply)

factual, concise, no typos
what's not to love?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)

it truely was

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:48, Reply)

swipe - letting agent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

i fucking loved that job
driving around in the boss' jag with the top down, showing people around nice cheshire houses (ok more frequently around manchester in a vauxhall nova, but meh)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

driving around with your top down
Is why you now possess a saggy pair of shoe polishers you should always have support
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

no
it's because your dad likes it rough
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

haha
I'm not sure quite who the joke is on here

But have a click anyway
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)

I have told dad not to fuck ginger birds but he still has a weakness

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:36, Reply)

Rangaphilia

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)

i do have lovely hair.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Kroney, Gentleman Mechanic.
At least in comparison to the standard.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)

you'd just shrug your shoulders and mutter "scre bleu" under your breath

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Jacques Mai

( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:49, Reply)

just because you offer the old banger a drink before screwing its exhaust off does not make you a gentleman
although it makes you more gentlemanly than some
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)

He also gives his old chap a wipe before entering
That's a very considerate move
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)

on an oily rag

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:46, Reply)

that's his bird's hair

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)

"hair"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:51, Reply)

my mistake
it was his bristling anal beard. like a giant brillo pad sticking out of a crack in the pavement.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)

gentleman arse
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)

arse mechanic?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)

Yeah, he'd be forever looking back, over his shoulder

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)

Haha and the polite applause and dirty chuckle award goes to the two gents above.

( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)

are you calling me a gent or missing me out of the chuckle award?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Well, it was Nakers and Monty making jokes whilst you stood around looking confused.
So I'll let you come to your own conclusion.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

you go and comb your anal beard now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:00, Reply)

I don't mind everybody laughing

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:55, Reply)

with an aching deep in your heart

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

I wish that we were starting over

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arse%20Mechanic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:01, Reply)

actual strikethrough lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)

I'd call my garage "Cirque Deux Chevaux"

( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)

This is a good pun, you fucking pricks.

( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

i dunt get it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:59, Reply)

cirque du soleil you donut.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:59, Reply)

what's that got to do with cars?
are where do the horses come into it?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:02, Reply)

Deux Chevaux
2CV. Which is a well known French car.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

i didn't know that was it's nickname

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:08, Reply)

It's not a nickname. It's its full name.
2CV is a contraction. Just like the syphilis that has crept into your brain and retarded your mental functions.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)

it may be the weakest joke on here all day
that's some good going
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)

j'aime les cheveaux more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

ev ap
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 16:59, Reply)

If I ever become a milliner, you have my solemn oath that I shall call my shop this.

( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 17:05, Reply)