Morning all
Ended up camping out in Lusty's folks' garden. Hurricane lamps, fairy lights in the trees, bbq. I don't think I have ever seen my kid having such a good time. At one point she asked 'is this real'?

You can shove your iPads up your fucking arses. A campfire and toasted marshmallows is what you want.

What are you up to today?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 10:07, 76 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yeah, kids love tgat shit.
Adults too, come to that. If you get the chance to take her on holiday, try some of the camping bothies, mainly in the land of the Jockanese. Essentially barns, where you can camp out for free. Running water and a primitive khazi, that's really it as far as luxuries go. And a fireplace. If you don't mind roughing it, check one out.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Recovering
Mates stag do yesterday. Involved an actual piss up in a brewery. Pay £16 and drink as many "samples" as you like. Samples were pint sized. Between 4 and 7 pm I had 12 pints and then we went for cocktails. By the end of the night we were barred from every pub in Truro. Good times.
( Peej, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Yurt prick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

oh dear someone got bottled off at their own launch

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:25, Reply)

You'll be pleased to hear I'm at the cricket, I will update you throughout the day : )

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Are you Radio 5?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 11:05, Reply)

TMS innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Good job your tickets are for today and not tomorrow.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Thought you'd find this interesting, monts
diaryofanegress.com/2012/12/23/21-harsh-truths-black-people-dont-want-to-hear/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I spent an unreasonable amount of time wondering who Anne Gress was

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 14:44, Reply)

christ alive what a heap of shit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)

At the zoo with micro.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 11:19, Reply)

31/1

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Kids love that stuff
Going Jockoland in a few weeks and kids have asked for the whole fire/marshmallows thing, add some cheeky beers etc for the grownups and should be good.
Today, pottering about the house while listening to the death throes of Aussie cricket on TMS.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Off to gym now for scary fitness assessment/fat measuring, physio etc etc before first hardcore training session tomorrow
I am not quite sure where the gym is, so am getting a taxi there to be sure I'm not late. I have a feeling I am starting this all Wrong :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

How do they measure your fat?
Edit, this question's point, is for people to post sarky answers.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:32, Reply)

with very big calipers

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

and a weighbridge.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Jul 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Awwww, your book reminds me of this book, it's really good.
www.amazon.co.uk/Some-Kind-Fairy-Graham-Joyce/dp/0575115297/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374411039&sr=8-1&keywords=kind+of+fairy
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 13:51, Reply)

YM's OVARIES
Nah, not really. I made a fucking gorgeous curry and mango quiche. It was AWESOME. Now I'm sitting in my lounge sweating up a storm.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)

did you go for the full experience and poo in her borders?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 14:43, Reply)

Wicket!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Review....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Not out.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 15:30, Reply)

But that's another wicket!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 15:32, Reply)

I do not believe
My gogglin' bins!

That's another wicket! 136/6
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 15:38, Reply)

155/7!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)

And that's 8!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Would be great to get them out with us having a 400 run lead. Probably too tight for that now.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Definite highlight so far:
Boycott putting Ed Milliband straight about MPs pay on TMS yesterday lunch.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

I missed that. I haven't got any radios that will play LW.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Isn't TMS on 5 extra?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:15, Reply)

Oh, I didn't know that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:17, Reply)

Yup.
listening on my phone (TuneIn Radio app)
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:31, Reply)

Thanks for that. Will investigate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:36, Reply)

Get them out for less than 200 and I'll be happy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

Boycott on MP pay
"Prime Minister, most important job in the country. Start him at a million, work down from there. Need less MPs though, with technology don't need so many."
etc.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:36, Reply)

Review....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:12, Reply)

This DRS thing is shit when it's hot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:17, Reply)

It's all a bit Barrymore
What is a hot-spot not....
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:32, Reply)

FFS. * goes to pour pint over head. Decided not to waste it. Drinks it instead *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:37, Reply)

I haz Peroni
in the manner of Sportscow.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:40, Reply)

I'm on Magners at the moment.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:42, Reply)

The thing itself is OK
it's that the umpires are too quick to leave it to the tech instead of trusting their experience. That catch that wasn't given yesterday being a prime example.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:33, Reply)

Agreed. But it is useless in this heat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:43, Reply)

9 down!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:38, Reply)

Nakers is there today. I never thought I'd be jealous of the bent spastic, but right now...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:45, Reply)

You can join us for the 3rd test if you like.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:48, Reply)

Ooh. Tempting. Would mean a weekend away from micro though. Thanks anyway.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:52, Reply)

As far as I know the package is still available
Although I would expect it to sell out after the second test.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:09, Reply)

I don't want to be away from micro, otherwise I'd grab it if I could.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:11, Reply)

understandable.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:13, Reply)

Had a great day with her today. She's in top form.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:16, Reply)

What did you do?
Knock down Monty's tent I hope.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:22, Reply)

Mucked about in the garden, went to the zoo, then a picnic, nap & RegentsPark

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:26, Reply)

Bang...one to go!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:39, Reply)

New ball
I give it 10 mins tops
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 17:55, Reply)

Not sure about that. New ball can be very unpredictable.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:03, Reply)

I assume England will request the additional 30 minutes?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:11, Reply)

And.....that's all folks.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:42, Reply)

Howzat!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:42, Reply)

And that's that. LBW - good last wicket stand again, though.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:43, Reply)

I was starting to think they'd be back out tomorrow.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:45, Reply)

Yeah, just four balls before stumps.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:46, Reply)

SKIPPY. FUCKED UP THE ARSE.
YES.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:45, Reply)

Fingers crossed it stays dry for the third test.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:46, Reply)

Stays dry?
What, Skippy's arse? A tad harsh I feel.....
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 18:49, Reply)

I generally despise Boycott but he made a prescient comment late on today
"Is this really Australia?"
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 19:47, Reply)

When your tail end consistently show up the top order batsmen innings after innings you've got pretty major issues.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:04, Reply)

Even my "tail end" is better than the Ocker er...opening seven.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:11, Reply)

Trott isn't doing too well either at the moment though...

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:39, Reply)

I was dangerously close to everyone's favourite tubby rapist today.
Woburn Safari park. MK postcode and everything.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 19:48, Reply)

Did he do Lala or Dipsy?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:05, Reply)

The Marquess of Bath calls them wifelettes or something, doesn't he?

Edit. Eh.......
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:16, Reply)

No.
Swipe, badly.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 21 Jul 2013, 20:20, Reply)

Woburns pretty nice eh?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 15:11, Reply)