Good morning you shameful collection of anal sores.
Weekend plans?

Alt: what do you dislike about the British?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 7:52, 158 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Workin :'(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 7:55, Reply)

Well that's more than you do Monday to Friday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)

I'm working tomorrow morning.
Which means I don't actually get home until about 3. At which point I shall either collapse int a ball of depression or start drinking. I shall continue with either into Sunday. And maybe buy a bicycle.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 7:59, Reply)

i'll probably go to the pub
i've never met a british person i liked
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:00, Reply)

This is a shit thread. You fucking cunt. haha
joking

Morning Battered, I will be working till mid-day Sat.

Then off for a week, I may take a page out of Twoeys book and post all next week whilst sat in pants
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:01, Reply)

Why not do us all a favour? Don't post anything at all next week.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:02, Reply)

I'm not into favours

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)

alt: Moaning about everything
It's to hot/cold/wet, I don't like my job and so on, shut the fuck up and stop MOANING
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)

just to point out that you are moaning about moaning in this post

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

Look I'm British what can I say

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:21, Reply)

you say it best when you say nothing at all
(I'm telling you to delete your account here)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)

If I didn't know better I would be deeply hurt.


Anyway did you watch 13 Assassins last night?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

I sure did and I thought it was excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:30, Reply)

What the fuck was going of with the 13th (the bandit) how did he spring back to life?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Yeah he had a sword through the throat dinnee.
Weird
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)

SPOILERS

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

quiet night in with kid tonight
Oxford for 70th lunch with father and family tomorrow
Followed by fuck knows mebbe Pompeii thing at BM

alt: smelly food
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)

at baldmonkey?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

yes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

Out with family for my brother's 30th tonight.
Meeting Monty's Dad tomorrow and probably becoming Monty's new Mum.
( wanderlust, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:17, Reply)

Well he does need more mums.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)

I think so too.

( wanderlust, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I'll be disappointed if I don't hit double figures

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:23, Reply)

You're welcome to mine. The old cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)

DO Welsh, Scottish or Irish people ever describe themselves as British, or is it just the English?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)

no, never

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

well, maybe sometimes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

let's say occasionally then

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:28, Reply)

I don't like the term. It always reminds me of Yanks shouting about 'you crazy Brits!', and I hate Americans.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:29, Reply)

i think better of myself than to describe myself as british

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I applaud you, Sir.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:29, Reply)

haha, have you ever noticed, right, whenever andy murray loses he's scottish but when he wins he's british, haha geddit?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Yes. That's funny and clever. There should be more funny things like that. And people should mention them constantly so they remain funny and fresh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:32, Reply)

also see David Coulthard

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:33, Reply)

also see WIlliam Wallace

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:35, Reply)

He was very well travelled, he visited the four corners of this land

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Oh man I LOVE Masterchef!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:57, Reply)

BATTLES JUST DONT GET TOUGHER THAN THIS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)

yer, me too

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:59, Reply)

This weekend I'll be finishing off some fencing and drinking heavily
Alt: Our inability to complain at the time and our ability to whinge about everything that we should have complained about!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

gettin my anal sores looked at
Alt: laziness
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Twatbastard

( Peej, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Yeah thanks

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)

You're welcome

( Peej, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:52, Reply)

touch of the tapirs about this post

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:48, Reply)

oui oui

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:54, Reply)

2/7 :(
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-23532315
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)

5/7
\0/
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)

>:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:58, Reply)

you must be thick or something

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:02, Reply)

:o
Bit harsh there TD*



*Harsh on the thick people
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)

5/7, but i guessed a lot of them

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:56, Reply)

258/6 YESSSSSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:00, Reply)

I think you mean 35/8 YESSSS!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I have no plans but I am sure it will be dull
Alt. The flag waving twats who celebrate being British like that in itself is something to be proud of. Oh and people who wallow in grief when someone they didn't know, who didn't give a shit about them dies. My dad died when my brother was 12 and no-one gave a shit about him. Diana dies and fucking hell everyone cries about it. Someone gave me shit for saying she wasn't ever called Princess Diana. When I explained why to her she actually said that "she was a princess in all our hearts!"
( Peej, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Neva 4gottun.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:58, Reply)

I've got to take apart bunkbeds into two single beds for no discernible good reason I can think of
other than if I don't do it the missus will just 'do it by [myself] then' and I'll never hear the fucking end of it.

Alt: Cunts that go to a busy swimming pool at night in pairs and swim slowly side by side so they can have a 'natter' taking no heed of the fact that they're taking up enough space for four or five single swimmers and making everyone else swim around them causing bottlenecks on either side. Dunno if it's just the British doing this but this is the first world problem that's really fucking me off at the moment. As you were.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

swimming is shit and for cunts that's why

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Oh right. Sorry, my mistake.
*makes notes*
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I will spend the weekend enjoying my above average height by peering over walls, reaching things on high shelves and not getting lost in crowds

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

When I went to the doctors recently, I discovered that I'm taller than I thought I was
It's without a doubt the best thing that's happened to me so far this year
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)

^ winning ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:12, Reply)

*stands on tip toes"
Look!! Look at me!!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Just how much taller are we talking about here?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Look, I'm not a particularly tall man
Turns out I'm 5'10"...I thought I was 5'8" max.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Were you wearing your 'Slade shoes'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Don't be ridiculous
I was wearing my built up moccasins
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Just so long as you weren't wearing those platform socks.
I've told you about that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

You have
and you'll probably have to tell me again. What am I like??
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I'm 5'8", but I suspect an official measurement would only be 5'7".

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

this forum is full of midgets

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

It's a bit dwarf heavy, it's true

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

I prefer hobbit. Given the fact I am an, ahem, average height man with size 11 feet.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Creepy little freaks.
I am reminded of the Napoleon scene in 'Time Bandits'.

Well fuck me, here it is in full:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUMkrNLyB_g
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Go to Bupa, mate
They'll whack another 2 inches on that for you
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

you're all short arses
real men are over 6 foot
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

I hear ya, niggy

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

*agrees*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I'm working on it, ok???
JEEZ!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Its ok
My dual bonneted friend, My genes in their wisdom decided to stop me at 5' 11 and a bit... man if only I had tried harder at school I could have got to the magic 6ft but till then you and I can only look up in awe
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

HAHAHA MID-GET MID-GET

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I would look up to you but the sun is in my eyes OK

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)

YM doesn't seem to think so.
*sigh* sorry.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

my mum is over 6 foot too

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

where as mine is under 6ft
What a coincidence
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

There's a pattern forming here...

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Holiday shopping with Mrs V, drinking heavily, and - excitingly - scanning in my lease to send to my solicitor.
Alt: the British.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I will be digging shit up in my garden and probably having a BBQ
On Sunday I will be out for another run
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Who buried the shit in the first place?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Spuggy

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

That pesky timelord!!!
What on earth did he do that for???!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)

WHO knows

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Roger Daltrey?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Oh dear, Nakers
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-23530064
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

"idiot", "yuk", "clown" and "prat"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I for one had no idea that red trousers had become such a hot issue
Nor do I particularly care
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Actually I don't own any red trousers actually

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

You rent them don't you.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I like how it mentions the "lookatmyfuckingredtrousers" blog
which hadn't been updated for 6 months before this poll came out...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

With og this weekend.
Tomorrow we shall be at the Pompeii and Herculaneum exhibition. I quite like classical stuff, doris fucking loves it.

I've introduced her to Luther, so we'll probably be watching that with some wine. Red would seem to be appropriate.
( Kroney, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I had no idea you were friends with the founder member of the Protestant church

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Give me a buzz if you and Lusty get to the exhibit.
We'll be going for drinks after.
( Kroney, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I keep hearing about that show

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

me too, I keep hearing that it's shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Really? I hear differently

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

It's phenomenal.
Monty will hate it because lots of people like it and he's the worst fucking hipster I know.
( Kroney, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I bet he even suffers from OREO RAGE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Cool
I'll "buy" the first series and see how I get on.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

No, you just keep inferring that it's shit because it's on the telly box and you think everything on there is shit.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-23530064
today I have a conference call of 5 people to discuss 6 tweets!
nhs efficiency right there.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

MARRvellous, we get it twice in the same thread

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

No one reads localboys posts surely?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

What is this localboy of which you speak?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)