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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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THIS IS A THREAD ABOUT ME!
I passed. Overall score for the entire course of 96%.
Annoyingly another guy just scraped a pass with like 60% and I wouldn't trust him to change a light bulb let alone wire a house up.
Got any incompetent colleagues? Or friends? Or relations that you worry might hurt someone.

Alt: what do you think of the M40?

Altalt: I'm on the beer already. What's your problem?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:26, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Auntie Myra was a "funny" one
All the chaps at work are good 'uns. Its our customer IT contacts that shit me right up

Alt:
A lovely quiet motorway linking two shitholes

Altalt:
I'm NOT
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Traffic at 12ish was horrid.
Bunch of half day Friday Wankers.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:31, Reply)
or 'tangledupinblues' as we call them

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I like this

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Altalt: my problem is that I am not

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:31, Reply)
^^^^

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Surely a man as long in the tooth as you has a cheeky bottle stowed in your desk.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I can't drink and work. Which is lucky for my innards.
Even a lunchtime pint would ruin my afternoon.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Are you ill , or are you a Nancy girl Gay face?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)
The latter

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Unfortunately I agree with this
I don't do the ol drinky worky thing,
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Well done.
Few friends are functinal alkies, bad style, I wonder how they hold down careers. Barrister, couple of lecturers, snd an incredibly well paid criminal lawyer. Vodka breakfast, to a man/woman.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)
According to Stunned port is a much better breakfast beverage.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:38, Reply)
works on cornflakes

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:42, Reply)
rock hard cocks pumping at your arse

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:44, Reply)
WANT.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)
^ghey^

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Ha ha you cunt.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
lols

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Hey, fuck you. I've never said that.
Buckie is the breakfast of champions.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Congratulations. Sounds like you deserve a beer. I am also having a sneaky beverage.
Alt: my attitude towards it changed somewhat after I was involved in a 3 car accident near J6 about 7 years ago. I ruined a £50k sports car.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Where's junction 6?
I got honked at by a guy today because I was pulling off at the junction for the A34, he was inside me and wanted to get back on the motorway and I didn't slam on my brakes to let him back on the motorway as I felt causing an accident was a bad idea.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)
they keep it between 5 and 7

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:43, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Between Aylesbury and High Wycombe.
It is stupid that people can acquire a driving license without ever having driven on a motorway. However you weren't doing yourself any favours by having a tug whilst driving.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:44, Reply)
It's the only place I get any piece and quiet.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)
He was inside you?
WHO'S THE GAYLORD NOW, SHITPANTS?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Battered is
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2076714
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)

www.kidselectriccars.co.uk/images/Cali-Style-Kids-Car.png
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)

www.google.co.uk/#q=z4m&biv=i%7C0%3Bd%7CocZOWcClJ_gJwM%3A
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)
I much prefered the look of that version to the new one
I also have a soft spot for the z3m shooting brake, cos it's mental
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
I have a friend of a friend whose entire life is just a catalogue of idiotic mishaps and misadventure, causing much amusement to those who know him.
Alt: The long and winding road that leads to your door, will never disappear I've seen that road before. It always leads me here. Leads me to your door.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)
You're great at telling stories, you know that?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I thought this as I was writing it.
Unfortunately most of the best stories about him are far too long to be bothered to type out and often require you to know him, or his family, to make much sense.
Soz.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Like I said, you're a master.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Why do you have to be like this Windy?
Always trying to show me up in front of your mates, eh?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I just want to be cool, why can't you support me?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Fine.
You have your fun.
I'll be waiting in the car.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)
It's not necessary is it?
Everyone is already painfully aware of what a tedious bumnlord you are.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:47, Reply)
+ling

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Alright Mr Bumnus

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
I could leave work now like a cunt and screw over soem colleagues...or do some more work like a good boy

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Go. Run. Fuck it.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
^ this ^
Particularly as you're leaving.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:50, Reply)
WP - 4% shit

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I'm getting that on a plaque for my front door.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Alt: I used to drive up and down it quite alot.
the average speed cameras can be a bit of a pain in the arse.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Do they ever turn on those cameras? Is it a rush hour thing?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
They have no speed restrictions at about 5am, but the cameras are always working
so you ends up only doing 70 mph for ages. every time I have come through them in an afternoon they are showing a 50 or 60 mph limit
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Fuckers.
They have a similar arrange-mont on the M25 from Kent to the M3 M4 but I speed like billy-o and have never had a cross word.

Look after yourself. And each other.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)
tahnks jerry

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Same here 85-90mph is my normal cruising speed on the motorway

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
You cruising for a piece of ass?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:19, Reply)
always.........wait......errrrrrmmmmmm..............no

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)
ex ass

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:22, Reply)
INXS
Wait no I haven't
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
FUCKING. BENDERS.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)
WHAT A FUCKING EPIC LUNCH.
What's going down in nonce town, wankers?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)
steady noncin', G money

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:10, Reply)
I am a hearin' you on FM, good buddy.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Stinking up on the flip side

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Shouldn't that be
steady noncin', pocket money
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
PSYCHOCHOMP KNOWS THE NONCE TERMS, THAT MEANS HE'S PROBABLY A NONCE!

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)
There's some northerners on the telly and I'm really struggling to understand what they're saying.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)
something about poverty
and deep fried gash.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I think one of them is fucking her own step brother.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:15, Reply)
There is no think, only incest.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)
there's a girl in the office who couldn't point scotland out on a map of the uk

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)
sounds like she'd be easy to fuck

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
i'll ask her

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
there is no ask, only crazy rutt rape.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:20, Reply)
hey woah, it ain't saturday night yet

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)
FUCK YOU TD
You've just given me a dose of Whigfield
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Dee Dee Na Na Na

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Ohhh god
Now I've got "Toms Diner"
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:30, Reply)
this will clear that up
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EllYgcWmcAY
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Badger badger

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:46, Reply)
cleared the earworm up ?

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:54, Reply)
my universal earworm cure
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqsAye_EiA0

works for me every time
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:15, Reply)
That's the Welsh for you, biologically less evolved and therefore thick FACT

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
righto

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:20, Reply)
I've never met a clever person who's used the word FACT in all-caps in place of a full-stop.
True Story.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Ha, as if Scotland is part of the UK.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Why don't we get a vote? I'd fuck 'em off in a New York minute.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Ooh, get you with your fancy American time,
Get a bit of money and a touch of gout and old blighty time ain't good enough for you. Honestly.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
No, it's for the unemployed like you.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Harsh man. Harsh.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Love you, man.
You're not in London are you?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Nope.
Sunny Oxford.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)
haha povvo

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)
YEAH
I hope he gets "The Consumption" and DIES
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Just another statistic

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:43, Reply)
i don't, that sounds horrible

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)
eating a fish finger sandwich & watching Sons Of Anarchy.
I win.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)
You really don't.
At work after a cracking lunch. I am just about to go and have a nice glass of wine and speak with other human beings.

I WIN.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Failing words: 'at work'.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Not so much work as somewhere to drink free coffee and cock about on the internet.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:27, Reply)
not sure it counts as work

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:27, Reply)
I work damn hard, man.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Of course you do sweetheart

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Hahahaha.
I was only joking.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)
I was hoping to slope off early today.
but found I was missing some cash on hand account transactions. I ran the report again and there they were. Dunno know that happened. Scintillating stuff indeed.

Was there a question?
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)
It's rock n roll with you fellow Doctor.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Party all day, party all night.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:50, Reply)
This wins the classic car linking game
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C395385
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:34, Reply)
I'll bet if Windy gets it he'll put even more spotlights on it.
Just to show off his new skills.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:35, Reply)
New car for Tangles
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C420756
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:43, Reply)
It seems to me that this website
is for people that like to take the piss when pricing their cars
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Hang on, are you telling me this isn't a bargain?
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C394626
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)
No of course not... go for it

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)
The pricing on there is crazy.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:06, Reply)
Dear Santa, Please can I have this. Really. Cheers.
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C420423
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)
I'm watching Moonraker.

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

M

C
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:49, Reply)
+
k
p
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)
ha!

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:01, Reply)
LETS GO WINDY LETS GO ! LETS GO WINDOW LETS GO !
WHATS THAT COMING OVER THE HILL, IS IT A PIG? WINDY PIG !
LETS GO WINDY. LETS GO WINDY.
AND NUMBER ONE, WAS WINDY PIG. AND NUMBER TWO, WAS WINDY PIG.....[skip forward].... WE ALL DREAM OF A TEAM OF WINDY PIG, A TEAM OF WINDY PIG, A TEAM OF WINDY PIG.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:03, Reply)
I'm just outside Congleton
Having a wee
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:09, Reply)
Sent from your iPiss

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Never mind Montys Flat
www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/30065468

You could buy Dennis Neilson's
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)

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