At least I can
And don't have to turn to rodents to get my rocks off
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:11, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

It's this kerazee back and forth that makes you two such a *wonderful* couple.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:13, Reply)

I don't do Internet virgins (ever again)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:14, Reply)

You mean to tell me you've never 'bought him a pizza'? Shame on you!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:16, Reply)

I do my bit for charity
But I have limits.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:18, Reply)

I've done charity work, I fucked a fat chick once.
Never again though, so you're well out of luck.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:19, Reply)

Do you two actually dislike each other?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:19, Reply)

Does an autist shit in the pope's hat?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:21, Reply)

Well I'm not choosing between you, I love you both.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:22, Reply)

You're adopted.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:23, Reply)

I'm going to find my real parents.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:24, Reply)

They're both dead.
They committed suicide shortly after your birth, they couldn't face the lifetime of shame.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)

Don't take it out on me because you're angry with 'Mum'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)

You'll never supplant the hamster in his affections
Because all normal straight men have a pet that is meant for an 8 year old girl
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:24, Reply)

From your past experience, you have no idea at all about 'normal straight men'.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)

I know that they don't have clown feet, wear turquoise and pink, have their closest relationship with a rodent and think that "chicks dig" them
So a damn sight more than you, in other words.

"HTH xx"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)

I don't wear pink except in accessories.
So soz, Swipola, incorrect again xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:30, Reply)

He has no idea what I look like
But is incapable of talking to women or "chicks" as he calls them in some desperate parody of a parody of Patrick Bateman, his favourite character, so comes out with this sort of garbage
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:21, Reply)

Um, Pat Bateman is not my favourite fictional character; neither is American Psycho my favourite novel.
Shows how much you know, you big nosed fat ginger bitch.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:22, Reply)

Coming from a balding pierced freak who looks like a smack head but with a double chin, that really hurts
Oh no, wait, the other one. Tickles.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:24, Reply)

I'm not balding and I don't have multiple chins, so sollee xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:25, Reply)

Oh dozer
You know you look like someone put charles Bronson's face on a space hopper
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:27, Reply)

You look like someone put Mr Bronson's head on a space hopper.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:27, Reply)

You can't just nick my insults
Put some effort into it.

Also how's our bet coming along??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:31, Reply)

I didn't nick yours, I mean Mr Bronson off Grange Hill.
You know, 'tache, ginger hair, face like a smacked arse, the resemblance to you is uncanny.

And I think I'm very close to winning.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:32, Reply)

Well get on with it!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:35, Reply)

Will you two just get a room and order pizza already?
Then we can spend the next three years discussing the inevitable crap sex and breakup repercussions.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:33, Reply)

He's gay
You do it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:34, Reply)

Never stopped you before
You can discuss sartorial elegance together as well.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:35, Reply)

Not with someone who has zero concept of it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:37, Reply)

You mean Battered?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:39, Reply)

Actually
Gok Wan featured a turquoise tracksuit and clown shoes combination on his show last week, so you're clearly out of step with current trends.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:41, Reply)

She's SO uncool.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:42, Reply)

Zactly
Mind you, there's not much goes with ginger, that isn't green, and that's just not in right now.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:43, Reply)

I'd suggest wearing black because it goes some way toward hiding the rolls of fat.
But then she'd look like a flattened duracell.

Flabulous!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)

Well she does go on and on

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)

alright fake HH

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:35, Reply)

alright bobo

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:36, Reply)

innit bruv

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:36, Reply)

yer

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:38, Reply)

no, you just have to plead with a trilby-sporting Paki to stay with you in spite of his rampant bumsexuality
You probably let him give you a chocolate funnel if only he'd stick around for one more night.

You desperate tubby bitch.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:13, Reply)

When did you last have sex with a consensual adult and living female?
1996?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:15, Reply)

When did you last have a fulfilling relationship with a heterosexual man, rather than a credit card?
Last night's little 'accident' was probably you attempting a dismal suicide to escape the crushing self imposed disappointment of your shallow life, but just like with your relationships with 'men' it was scuppered by those hilarious spare tyres of yours.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:18, Reply)

The last one ended a couple of weeks ago
Nice guy, but just no spark. So go on, stop diverting and answer the question.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:19, Reply)

2013.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:20, Reply)

Bollocks
You haven't got that shrivelled little cock wet since pussy was a kitten.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:21, Reply)

wotevs
You can believe what you want, no skin off my prepuce, eh?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:23, Reply)

Fuck, getting a bit nasty round here.
Feel the love chaps, feel the love.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 21:15, Reply)